So are you going to explain why it's not the same thing? You're just restating the opposing position, not arguing anything. What's even the point of your comment? Granted, haven't done much dating in general but that's not my cup of tea. Only hang up would be biological children, otherwise I'm all for it. I honestly wouldn't hesitate getting intimate either. My buddy has a strong attraction to trans women.
Never really comes up in casual conversation, but when we were on a boys trip he kept on trying to drag me to clubs that they perform in. At first it was funny, and then it became obvious that he was actually very attracted to them. I think it is more of a sex kink for him though, I don't think he was thinking of settling down with them. I am happily in a relationship, but if I were single and found a strong bond with a trans person, I don't think I personally would have a issue. I like people for their personalities over their physical attributes so I could see past the penis.
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If you don't mind me asking, why would you be sad? The comments seem to reflect an honest array of feelings and opinions, and people are being rather respectful. Seems to me that this is exactly the type of conversation that society should have about this issue. I'm already laden with insecurity and self loathing regarding this facet of myself that I cannot change, and face bigotry regarding it every day. To find that it is the the key reason that I'll likely never find someone who loves me is just kinda soul crushing. I can't be angry, because like you said, they're just expressing their honest feelings, and I can't blame them for how they feel or what they're into.
But it does make me very sad, because having it laid out so plainly, so bluntly, of a myriad of voices all saying at once "We don't like you, for the simple and unchangeable fact of what you are" is extremely demoralizing. I think I speak for everyone here in saying that nobody here "doesn't like you" because you are transgender.
It is also fair to say that the everyone would want you to be happy. I know that I certainly see no reason why you should not be. Of course this also means finding someone that loves you and accepts you. If you are a good person and I presume that you are then you certainly deserve that as much as anyone else. I happen to believe that the best way to promote trans acceptance is for everyone, trans people included, to be open minded about what, specifically, are reasonable changes to our social compact regarding who really are men and women, and what rules should be in place regarding men's and women's institutions and spaces.
My guess is that much of what you see as "bigotry" is merely other people expressing what they consider to be reasonable concerns about opening up gender segregated areas. When reasonable people bring up reasonable concerns and are shouted down as bigots and trans-haters not much progress is going to be made. And we clearly see that in the issue of dating, where straight men are branded as bad people for expressing the very natural, and reasonable, preference for biological women only.
Nothing trumps biological reality, and it is not bigotry when people point this out. I have a feeling that you get this, and like I said, I certainly hope that you can find a way to be happy with yourself, and hope you find someone that loves you. I would be very upset if someone tried to get with me without making it clear beforehand that they were transgender. Considering the amount of violence that happens and is even supported on liberal places like Reddit , there's not a trans girl out there who's going to try to sneak it past you knowing there's a risk you'd get violent.
If all the elements that make a cis-woman attractive to me are present, than I wouldn't have any issue with it. I've met some transwomen in college who I didn't even realize were not cis until later on. There was a real cutie-pie in my physics class I should've asked out. I think I chickened out, not because she was trans but because I thought it would be weird to date a lab partner. I have no problem with transgenders, but I'm not personally attracted to them, either.
For me, it doesn't matter. As long as we have chemistry and connect, and actually want to be together. Don't see a problem with it but my preference is the real thing idk why it's just something about it is not attractive to me. If you mean the new cool made up definition that includes people with gender dysphoria, then fuck no. Never stick your dick in crazy. If I found her attractive mentally and physically enough to pursue her and then I found out, I probably wouldn't care.
If I knew before, I might. That seems super hypocritical of me and I need to reflect on it honestly because I don't like my answer. Don't see a good reason to worry about that if I find her attractive. Post-op, I wouldn't care at all if she was born with a penis. I don't know if I'd be down with getting physical if she'd still have one, but I'd likely be willing to find out as long as she wouldn't be bothered by how extrasuperawkward I'd be about it. I have no interest in having kids. If I did, and their being the biokids of myself and my partner mattered, the answer'd probably be different.
Very likely not for me, not really a big issue though.
I've been attracted to masculine females, never to feminine men, kinda strange when I think about it. Something more to women than femininity. There are some seriously delusional people in this thread. Apparently you're an asshole for your sexual orientation which you have no control over.
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It's not transphobic to not want a sexual relationship with trans people. Fuck yourself if you're going to act like it's oppressive to not have an unconventional orientation. Personally, it's important for me that I'll have kids of my own one day, biologically mine. Besides, it's easier to raise a kid without having to explain to them why mom isn't mom at some point. I dont think i will until they can produce hormones on their own. Smell is a huge part of the attraction for me.
If they were lax on their hormone therapy or if another chemical reaction in their body effected it I would be thrown. The fear of this would get in the way of me being comfortable enough. Life would be easier the dating parts if I was bi. I haven't been able to get in a relationship with a biological woman, let alone a trans woman. As long as we have good chemistry, I'd be fine with dating a trans woman.
I raised this with my housemate when a trans woman went in to celebrity big brother in the UK. She wa not a good representation. He said he could never date 'one' but I asked him how he would know? I showed him progress pics on reddit threads and it dawned on him that Adam's apples could be shaved away and a former man could become a beautiful woman Based on some of the comments from straight men I'm seeing here, that's probably a good thing. Whenever I see a trans-woman I can't help notice that their jawlines, hands and facial structure still looks more masculine than a non-trans woman sorry if that isn' the term, no idea what to say without offending.
My opinion is that I have no right to have an opinion on what happens between two consenting adults. I wouldn't be attracted to a girl with an Adams apple, so it's not their personality or choices, its the body. In the nicest way I can say this, I definitely will never date a transgender woman. I do not mean to be at all disrespectful, but I will be honest.. Why not accept the sex you were born with?
I am male regardless of how I feel mentally or emotionally about it. With regards to the question, I just like the ladies too much. It's hard to comprehend someone elses perspective because we are blinded by our own sometimes. I learned this about depression but it applies to a lot of other issues. This isn't one to one, but maybe it will help. It's how I had to break it down to people, so I think it can give some insight at least.
Imagine if you were given a suit to wear. Now, it's a fine suit, there's nothing wrong with it outwardly, but it itches, clings in the wrong places, and you just generally feel terrible wearing it. How long would you keep it on? Sure, people will tell you "you look great", "we gave this to you, so the least you could do is wear it" and "I really prefer you in this suit", and that's all amazing.
You may even realize that you do look good in it outwardly, but inwardly you just feel fucking god awful. You may be able to wear it for an hour. Maybe even for years. But it never breaks in, never gets better, and it may even start to feel worse. At what point do you realize "I can just change my clothes into something that makes me way more comfortable, and live a much happier and better life?
This is the best explanation I have ever seen. Can I steal this to use. When our friends are saving for backpacking trips and festivals, trans people are saving for surgeries and expensive medications. When our friends are putting a down payment on a house, we are putting down a down payment to just feel comfortable in our bodies. Most people are relieved when puberty ends. Trans people know better because we have to go through it all again. I tried that for a very long time and it really wasn't working out for me. From puberty onward as my body became more masculine I felt less connected to it and less able to go on living.
And then HRT reversed all of that and now I'm living happily and healthily. On a more clinical side, the reason I experienced that is likely that my brain was less masculinized during prenatal development, essentially leaving me with a feminine structured brain that is more apt for existing in a body with typical female anatomy and typical female hormone levels rather than typical male levels.
Thank you for answering my question. You have an awesome testimony and explanation. Still, it is very hard for me to understand as I will never experience that sort of masculine disconnection. Yeah, this is literally what I try explaining to people when they say they don't understand or can't relate. On the other hand, with some logical trickery, we can MAKE you understand: Imagine, for example, you gained some weight. You lose it again, but you grew boobs in the process! And they won't go away.
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You get angry, you hate them, you think they look terrible and you want them fucking GONE You would now be experiencing gender dysphoria in a very similar way to us. Because your guy brain says 'don't have boobs'. I'm not attracted sexually to men.. If I get a tail stitched on it doesn't make me a dog.. And I don't care if that makes me offensive or whatever the SJWs say. Genetics is one factor that determines sex, the most important factor, but not the only one and can be overruled. People who are genotypically female but phenotypically male occur more often than you might think, and vice versa.
If you took a dna test and found that you were genotypically female, would you suddenly identify as a gay woman? Or would you continue to consider yourself a man because you feel more comfortable as one? How is a person with XY genes and an androgen insensitivity physically any different from a person who takes hormone blockers? You are over complicating it. They look at the way they look and decide if they have attraction to them. It's done in a few seconds. Usually the correct genetalia to their preference is neccessary.
The guy you are responding to is simply saying he cannot shake the feeling that the opposite genitals used to be there, and for him it's a deal breaker. You wouldn't criticize a person for not finding fake breasts attractive, I don't see how this is any different. People should be free to like the things they want to without people trying to shame them.
I don't have any problem with it, theoretically! I would totally accept how she identifies herself, and sexy activities would be no problem for me. I'm attracted to the person, not the parts. However, I don't know any trans women, so I have not tested whether I would actually be attracted. But then again, I'm mostly attracted to men, with the occasional woman. So that's probably the larger factor here. I'll be fine if I never have to deal with this decision. At the moment, it is a no from me. Not saying it's wrong, I just don't want to date a gay guy who became a woman.
Trans woman can be both It can take years to transition, find confidence, and find yourself.
Once you do, im game. To be fair i don't date college students or interns either. Appearance wise it's all up to everyone's subjective opinion and taste sure, but I think what's important is that a trans person is capable of being a whole person and not completely damaged. Dating someone who looks a certain way is not as big of a problem as dating someone with a very toxic or problematic personality. It's understandable for someone going through transgender experience to have baggage and issues in their life but I think it's important that the person is capable of being on top of that more so than looking a certain way.
Imo, if you are capable of loving yourself then you are capable of loving someone else. Lots of transgender people have awful experiences that they struggle dealing with past and present. It sucks but it's really hard to stick with someone who is not capable of being mostly capable of emotional stability. I've met a number of trans people and honestly I think for some of them it's not a problem of how feminine they act or look but how much they are capable of not being a big problem for everyone including themselves because they are struggling mentally.
It really sucks but being manic depressive, antisocial, anything like that is more likely to ruin relationships than anything. And I think failure of a post-op to disclose this status before sexual relations should be considered rape. But you can have sexual preferences and opinions without actually hating. Thinking trans people are raping people for not disclosing their medical history is pretty out there.
Transgender people define their identity based partially on physical and hormonal characteristics, and thats fine. I judge my own identity partially on my sexual orientation toward cis gendered people of the opposite sex, and thats also fine. I dont need any more justification than that. Well, I don't know about everyone, but I am attracted to females, and if I notice masculine traits, it's a bit of a turn off.
Also if they don't have bottom surgery or whatever I aint into dicks. Well if someone looks like a women, smells and feels like a women why would a guy be gay for being attracted to her? A Male attracted to the female form is heterosexual irrespective of how that person used to look. Now if a guy was attracted to a hairy and manly transman he would be gay. I doubt a straight man would find buck angel attractive irrespective of how he looked before.
It's not for me.
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I don't want to fuck anything with a penis, mutilated or not. Nope, I want biological kids, and as far as I know trans people can't have children. Also, all I've met until now still have some masculine features that make me not attracted. No thanks, the few I've seen just look like guys, not saying they all do, just the ones I've seen on a dating website, not in person. One is genital preference and perfectly fine, the other is technically transphobic tho I still understand it on some level.
Not being attracted to a trans-woman just because she is trans is not cool, every other reason is fine. However, you will not be able to tell a trans-woman, who has been at it for a few years and really cares about it, from a cis-woman.
Media-representation tends to focus on people who are visually different because, otherwise, what would be the point of showing them? I did get plenty of likes from cishet guys tho, most probably based on my pics, so maybe it will be an option in the future. I do not consider myself any less of a woman, I am just aware that my body is not attractive in a lot of ways to people who would conventionally like women Either guys know much less about vaginas than I thought or I'm an expert, because I feel like it's relatively easy to tell.
There are different techniques and also follow-up procedures like labioplasty not everyone gets. Based on my sources the best results take some effort to identify even for gynecologists. Hell to the no. Whatever surgery they may have had to look or feel more like a woman, they are still physically a man. Is this woman still physically a man to you? You're not straight if you're dating a transgender.
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