Life is full of surprises! Thanks for the article…age is realy nothing,as long you love and respect each other,life goes on! Thanks for the articles…age is realy nothing,as long you love and respect each other,life goes on! I am 26 dating a 19 year old. We have a fabulous relationship. There are times when it feels as though I hold the parent role though. Given his age, I cut him more slack than I would a guy of my age. I know that he cannot provide for me right now.
However, I have no doubt that he can in the future. I am not sure what to do. I am moving back home to another state. He cannot come yet due to school and that he does not have his own car or enough money. He insists that he wants to get a full time job, save money an move to b with me. Should I break things off or should I expect that this could really work out. He will be Can I expect him to seriously want to settle down, become married and have children? He says he will want these things but I question that because of his age. I need a lot of advice.
I get really happy to find out so many older women are dating younger men because it lessens my competition. There is nothing more amazing for me to have such young love and now with the internet, I get pictures practically whenever I want them. Thank you young men for taking yourselves off the market and making my dreams that much easier to achieve. I currently in love with a man 17 years my junior. We have had our share of difficulties. I think the main problem is I am a alpha women. Calling him all day,leaving my job in the middle of the day for sex. It maybe to late for me.
It looks like some of the words got changed by correction in my article above.. I am 49 and my boyfriend is I stumbled across this site and am glad I did. We have been dating 10 years! I have two older kids he gets along with well and things were great until recently when alot of his friends started to have kids.
We have discussed me having another but due to a medical condition that was stolen from us.. I love him with my soul and he does me,but what I feel is who am I to take that from him? Although he says he d rather have me over kids I deeply feel he would eventually hate me for him never having his own.
Old what to do. So much love,time and history to just throw away,yet at the same time how can I be selfish and hold him back from that. I was so apprehensive to even start to date him but ten yrs later I love him and him me just as the first day.. I risked alot to date him and looks like love or not I will end up alone in this. Just talk thoroughly about kids if u enter into a Dec May relationship.. Hi I have just started dating a younger guy he is 28 and iam At first i was dubious meeting him as he is not yet here i met him on holiday in Egypt.
He is Egyptian and gorgeous guy kind loving and vv matue for his age and i love that abt him he has his head screwed on. We have been married 2 yrs and 6 months i got married over there to him as he cannot come here yet. But let me tell u ladies out there dating a younger guy is gd you feel young as well.
I go to c him as often as i can a nd spend 3 glorious weeks wiv him our relationship is great in all aspects we have gd sex life we trust each other and we understand each othe rand have a lot in common. I have 2 kids from my previous marriage, son is 16 daughter is 19 i am worried when he finally does come here i want them to accept him eventually as they have never met him. What advice can u give me on that i really want them to accept him oneday. I am 64 and divorced 22 years. I am very attractive, fit, financially secure, and look early 40s. I did not start my career until I was 50 so I am also in the middle years of a career.
I have always dated younger men 7 years to 28 years. They ask me out. I was in a 25 year marriage and have wonderful children and grandchildren. I am now dating just for fun and incredible physical attraction a 38 year old man. He was married once and does not want to marry again. We are in the same place liberal, easy going, health oriented and have a lot in common. Fun, playful, and sexy. The trick to this is knowing what you need. Why would I date a 60 year old man who is insecure, resentful, wants to settle down and needs Viagra?
Every young man I have been with was the oldest and alpha.
More alpha than the older men. My new theory is that so long as neither party wants children and both are over 35 — we are all adults. Twenty-something men can be immature, and probably not that sexually experienced. Of course, no reason he might not be interested in a woman under 35 if they both want children. A 40 year old man who wants children should be dating a younger woman. And I hate the word cougar. As bad as gold digger. He is very keen to pursue a relationship, I am more wary. He prefers the company of older woman, and likes that I am self confident and independent. I have been very honest with him but he is still pursuing me.
Im in a relationship with a guy 15years younger. Im very happy, if feel loved. Never had the plessure of dating an older guy. Im Always attracting younger man. Cant say It dies nit frustrates me. Thanks for the article It realy help in boosting My confidence and also Through the comments from others whose been in This particular relationship. I knw i should Be Open minder. Im Just taking One step at a time. I am currently dating a man 25 years younger. My friends make fun of me and my kids are freaked out. But once you find an amazing intellectual connection, you just have to go with it.
We are compatible intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, and sexually. And we found out in that order. He lives miles away for now, so we also have our own long distance challenges. I just wish my children would respect the fact that I am a grown woman and allowed to make my own choices. I respect them and devoted my life to them, making huge sacrifices along the way.
Cougars are older woman who look for young men for sex. That is quite offensive to those of us who are older women and have a long term serious relationship with a younger man. Kranz gmaildot com …. I am 25 years old and my gf is I do love her but Idk how to get over the age thing. I think that motherhood is very stressful sometimes and your girlfriend might be going through some tough changes, maybe at work also. Thanks Marni and all the guys that have made comments.
After my divorce a year ago, I went out on a couple of dates but never felt the connection I felt with him. Thank you for sharing! I am currently dating guy that told his true age that his is 20 yrs old. When we first met he told me that he was 24 ys old. But I he explain to me he lie because he was afraid I wouldnt talk to him he stated to me that he likes dating older women that he had alway dated older women.
I love his compaionship and he is mature for his age but deep down he is really young for me and he makes me feel good in all areas and not afraid to be with me I am 40 I dont have any children really have medical issues that I might not have children.. I want a longterm commitment and be happy. I am 43 turning 44 October. I constantly wonder when they will go back to younger girls. I have been lied to and w their tons of attempts to be used as the other woman, I have lost all faith in there being the one for me. What really worries me is the age different, how can I over come it.
We have a lot in common. I found my wife on a dating website 8 years ago when I was 28 and she was She had insecurity about dating me, but I assured her that I was okay with her age. Well, back then…I was. Now I am bored to death. And then she gets frustrated and plays with her sex toys. Besides, she is physically slowing down a lot these days, gaining weight, and I just want to do things and be active. Our lives are different, and it seems to be going downhill. I feel horrible because I made a marriage covenant with her, but all I think about is being with someone my age or slightly younger.
Bored to death with an older woman, and wish I could start over. That is the single most frustrating factor in our relationship. He is immature… In practically everything. I have to sit and watch him make a mistake or some long winded argument about something we disagree on… when I already know where the road leads. He has a lot to learn about life which sometimes makes me feel more like a big sister than a girlfriend.
Otherwise he will hold us up arguing about which direction to flee. I just started dating a guy who is 15 years younger than me. It is funny to hear that with an older man you have more chances of a good long-term relationship. In my case, I had an older boyfriend and he was cold, treacherous and lied to me…not to mention sex quality.
However, I have dated younger men and they usually are more honest about their feelings, more innocent in their love, and sex is great. With young men this question does not arise, you just live the moment. Well, this is my humble opinion. I use to give my older sister grief about her younger boyfriend. I guess I was also. However, here I am 14 months deep in a relationship with a 21 year old. I really fought it.. What will people say?? Will I end up parenting him? Will our families accept it?? I took my time.
We dated first which honestly rarely happens anymore. He kept asking to if we could eventually label it but i was still weary. Something i kind of meant. One day after 3 months of dinners movie nights and yes, over nights I realized ummm, I was all ready there. We are on the same level once you stop seeing yourself as an old wise woman and can See past the age barrier. You open up this door like any relationship friendship into a new person. Hes Not living the dorm life.
Not some crazy kid looking to get laid. They are out there though and They exist in any age group. I dont really see him as a number anymore. Because his maturity and other characteristics dont scream juivenile. In any relationship there are obstacles but you truly can not determine someones relationship worthiness by their age. I dont own a home in Cougarville but i can tell you things are good on the other side of the fence.. After the fact, my friend learned that the much younger guy was cheating on her because their sex drives were different and she was like a mom.
The other problem was that the woman, my friend, had all the money. Also, even though she was older, her boyfriend complained about how immature and flirty she was. The other couple, also age difference fairly big, was fine. I found this out the hard way. I think I would be ok with it at my age, but when the opportunity came up I said no.
Sure, why not fun for a little while, but then what? To each their own! But I learned that whoever has money has to be careful about getting taken advantage of — man or woman- and there are jerks at every age. I hate generalizations that older women are better, younger men are better, etc. I think it might be easier for us to relate to people who are older or younger because we treat them differently. We treat older with more respect as opposed to someone young who is just as clueless as any other young person.
And a difference at 30 years of age and 50 years of age relationship or 40 and 60 as the ages, is different than 20 and 45, or even 18 and I agreed to date a younger boy because we both knew he would be leaving by the summer to another state. Unfortunately, by about 5 months into our relationship, I caught feelings, then I felt love for him, by the time the week came for him to move away, I was head over heels in love and heart broken because he was leaving. Due to financial issues, he was only able to stay out there for one month before he came BACK! Now, he is not an evil person. I love him to death but he is from an old fashioned family, they instilled this notion that a man must marry an younger woman to keep him young.
I guess my question is, how do I find the strength to let him go? What do I do? My blood cousin who is 41 is dating my 23 year old step brother. Puts the whole family in the middle of there relationship. It makes alot of the family feel uncomfortable. A question for you… What if they break up? What if they get married? That has put our family in a really awkward position. His aunt would now become his mom and his mom would now become his aunt??? The same thing would then apply to her And I still would not be able to have a friendship or bond at all with my brother.
Who cares about age? If both people are single at the time when meeting, live it up and enjoy life while you can. I met a young man a year ago. He said he was older and I said I was younger. We clicked and one night ended up being a lot of nights together.. I quickly worked out he was much younger 20…. Time passed a year later…in fact Last week we had the strangest argument over nothing which led him to or about to tell me he how he felt about me. I stopped him and blurted out that i was 48 not He laughed but was thinking deeply.
I told him that our relationship had limits.. I could never meet his parents. After a few minutes he said.. Because in the end.. We clicked and one night ended up spending a lot of time together.. I could never meet his family nor he mine. However, the contrary can be the case once you decide to get married to someone older than you.
An older woman will always want to appear superior even when they actually know that they are not. I am now When I was 39 I met mat. It started out as a little summer fling. Well 4 months into it I fell pregnant. I had our first at 40 and our second at We are having problems now that I think can not be fixed. I will warn you of the age difference. We have had more downs than ups. And yes babies make it harder. Hi, I am 33 years young, good body, good heart, caring, passionate, good listener, honest, and soul winning.
I only want true woman with true love. Age has nothing to deal me but your inner beauty is very important which is your heart. My problem is I am black and some women look down on me. Please tell me what can I do? Is there any woman in this world who will ever accept me for who I am? I was born in Africa and still lives in Africa but not a gold digger,just looking for a good partner who can complete me.
Maybe my miracle can come this time. I had past long relationships with older men but none of them worked. I never liked the term cougar cause I have never ever preyed on younger men. This guy is my first younger man relationship and I have made a tremendous amount of thinking before plunging in this relationship.
He has pursued me but we have been friends for 2 years prior. I can say that ours worked because i think he has an old soul and I have a young spirit and we meet halfway. I also was not married, no kids. Ihave never really had a problem at all about us and never given a flying fuck what my family and friends have thought as I live the life I want. It has taken its toll on him as I also found myself unemployed after years of earning a high wage, he supported me for 3mths while I was unemployed, as I supported him at one stage too.
Now that im back working part time he made an agreement with the family to end our relationship to which we are about to do as I agreed to it because of his family pressure. Marni, Thanks for the great article. I would appreciate yo insight in to my situation. I turned 40 three months ago, recently divorced with 2 kids. I have met a lovely young man who will be turning 36 later in the year. He is at a stage where he is wanting to settle down and have his own family. But he is still studying to be a doctor and has 3 more years to go. He has been honest from the very beginning about the fact that he wants to start a family soon but he is not comfortable with the fact that he is not in full time employment yet.
Older Women Dating Younger Men: Doomed from the Start or Happily Ever After in Cougarville?
The other concern he has raised is the fact that age seems to be against us and he wishes to have his first baby with me soonest. My main concern is that we have just begun our relationship and now there is the issue of the biological clock ticking ; he has been honest to tell me he wishes to have 2 kids. I fear that we may rush to a commitment and having children and then later on he realises it was a rushed decision yet he so much wishes to settle down right at this moment.
Call them Cougars, call them awesome women, one thing is for sure: I trust them far more than younger women. Im married to an amazing woman thats 8 years older than me. The sex is perfect we do our best to please eachother and for 10 years and going we are happy. Sure having a familly has its ups and downs but through our solidarity,friendship and love we managed to turn negatives into positives and succeed in live and careers…. He is sweet kind and caring though after three months I feel like his interest may be waning he used to.
I am worried that as I become more attached he is becoming more disinterested. I really appreciate it…: Hello, I am 46, I get told I look 33, and my boyfriend is We have been dating and living together for a couple of months. We both have stated our needs. I have already been married and have children older than him. As i said we have discussed this. I am his second love but first as an adult. He is mature for his age. I have never felt so loved by a guy before. I feel amazing with him and he says he loves me and I am amazing too. I am a bit curious if the relations of others in our lives will frown on this.
My kids and his mom. His mom does not know about me. That does hurt a bit, I want him to be open about this. Should we tell anyone about our relationship? We cannot help who we love.
We get along great and we compliment each other. It helps that we have music and movies to name a few things in common. I am trying to keep an open mind in-case he does want to move on. But we have talked openly about this. So we both know. Help we are in love but too nervous to tell anyone that might be upset. Thank you for your question! My advice is to have a conversation with her. Ask her what she wants for her future. Share with her what you want. See if those two visions meet somewhere in the middle. And please let me know how it goes!! Thank you so much for your comment!
And I agree with you, trust and respect are paramount to a healthy and happy relationship. Please keep reading and commenting! It sounds like the two of you should have a conversation about the future. Ask him what he sees for himself over the next few years, and listen to his answer. The best solution here is to have an honest and open conversation! Its encouraging to read about others success with May-December romances!
I was unhappily married to a man my same age for 12 years. I am currently living with a gorgeous man who is 15 yrs younger than me. He is divorced with one child. He was the one that pursued me, and the one that moved the relationship from the casual stage to talking about spending our lives together. I cannot agree more with the suggestions about keeping your feminine, allowing them to be the alpha male, and letting them lead and help you in your life. With my younger man I accentuate my feminine by cooking for him, making his lunches, ask him for help with things around the house, let him pay for all of our food, our entertainment, etc.
I ask his opinion, I often follow his advice. We debate routinely over differences of opinion, we both apologize to each other for things we do wrong, and neither of us makes a major decision without including the other. My decision to give into my feminine and let him lead me is no different than the way my mother interacts with my father who is 8 yrs older than she is. They have been happily married 47 years. She is neither weak, nor stupid… she just knows the value of embracing her feminine and supporting my fathers need to be a man.
I am softer, kinder and happier than I have ever been before letting my younger man take the lead.
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Marni, First, great article, stuff like this is what makes the internet great, and thank you for the insight. Maybe you can offer insight…. This is my first trip into a relationship where the calendar number differs more than character. And I mean that. Our last evening out was very touchy feely, and I was getting good vibes off of her.
According to her, the only thing she has a hang up on is the age difference. I am 35 years old and there is this guy, who is 23 years old that I really like. I am divorced and that really hurted me and closed me up to many things. So I recently decided I am ready and he is the first one I have liked for so long. I really want to get married and have a family, and I really like him, I am just not sure we could make it together.
BTW he is serious about this. After a separation and a failed 7 years relationship, met him. I have 3 children ages 17, 12 and 3. We meet when ever he is in town. I want to thank every one who posted on this site, your experiences and comments have been of great help to me. I thank the host for providing proffessional advice on dating younger man. I believe our relationship will work out because we have alot in common. I believe that trust and respect are vital in any relaionship.
I have been dating a guy who is 28 — I am We are coming up to our first anniversairy. I think it has lasted as long because we have had no expectations or put any demands on each other. However we have loved every minute together, never argue and are absolutley in love for the first time for both of us.
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We never feel any age issues although I have a very young outlook so mix with his friends and party like I used to but need much more recovery time plus have my own kids to look after. Sadly he is leaving to move to Canada next year and I would never stop him as it was always his plan and he needs to lead his life. I cant imagine how devastated I will be at that time. After so many years and many many admirers, I have never felt the wish to let myself get into a romantic relationship unless he is THE ONE. Whilst age doesnt matter — life plans do.
And my man is 35 years old. We have a very hot and heavy relationship. He likes to sweeze my tits, my ass… every part of my body. And it makes me feel good! He fucks me right, he licks me right, he eats me right… He makes a woman feel good!! So yaw need to find one like I got!! Hopefully that gets the lines of communication flowing so the two of you can work toward a compromise!
I met my friends neighbor a few months back, and was immediately smitten with him. He currently lives with his older sister temporarily and we all know each other, hang out, go out, all get along, etc…. I did not know the feeling was mutual until we were at my friends one night having a few drinks and he kissed me. It just progressed from there. At first I was bothered by the age difference, but not so much now. What are his needs and wants, and how can you create a solution together?
I am 40 and my boyfriend is 21 we have been together two years , he has just now decided to start trying to tell my kids what to do.. Love him but they are not going to listen to him do i cut my losses and run? I would just advise you that not all men are going to have that same issue about age and children. I have been thru 2 divorces and 1 long term relationship. I have 2 grown children. He currently is going thru a divorce with no children. We met accidentally and both were in awe of each other. I have never met anyone like him.
After a few serious dates he drops me over the kid issue. I just never thought age could matter, but to him it does. Please keep reading and commenting, and let me know if you have any questions! It sounds like your boundary is working for you, I just warn you against being too strict with it. That usually requires settling for a partner you would not have considered 10 years ago, and has the bonus of an ugly divorce in the end.
What to Consider Before Dating a Younger Man | Bitchin' Kitchen
Submit your question to Meredith here. Get Today's Headlines in your inbox:. Thank you for signing up! Sign up for more newsletters here. Most Popular in magazine Right Arrow. Subscribe to The Boston Globe today. Her career, her environment, and needs are evidently different from that of those before her. Do you have stories, videos or pictures you would like to share with the world? Simply click on Post Your Story button placed at the top of the website. For Enquiries Chat with us on Whatsapp on By Wambui Mbuthia Updated Nov 04, at This doesn't come without cons just like any other relationship.
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