One user, Brandon, who is 28, captures the ethos of the app in his "About Me": Cooper Boice, the founder of Mutual, says that while some people are just on the app to date, he considers marriage to be the "ultimate success. Boice proudly cites dozens of marriages that have resulted from Mutual, including international unions from the UK to the Philippines. In the face of declining millennial religiosity, Mutual, which is named after an old church program that brought Mormon youth together, may have another benefit: One swipe at a time, Mutual is uniting the Mormon diaspora, perpetuating lineages, and addressing the anxieties of youth facing familial and cultural pressure, as well as a personal desire, to marry within their faith.
Mutual is a dating app exclusively for Mormons. Growing up, Jillian Sewell spent Sundays dreaming of her perfect spouse. When she enrolled in Brigham Young University, Mormonism's flagship school, Sewell expected to get married right away. When I didn't, I thought I wasn't good enough. Upon returning from her Mormon mission in New Hampshire, Sewell felt unable to break into the "competitive" dating pool at BYU, where appearance is paramount. After a semester, Sewell returned home to Arizona, where she prayed for help finding a husband.
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I feel like Heavenly Father, he has so many resources -- and Mutual is one of them. Sewell met her husband on the app soon after joining and the two were happily married this year. Mormons today face longer tenures in singledom and a skewed gender ratio.
There are Mormon women for every Mormon men, according to one study , creating a statistical dilemma that complicates church leadership's bold project to ensure all youth attain a temple marriage. In late July, local church leader Wayne Janzen held a conversation with women in a Washington, DC singles ward, asking them to air their dating grievances. He validated their frustration with what one woman said was a "lack of options.
Though you'll rarely hear about it from a pulpit, Mormon leaders are concerned with the continuity of their religion. Their solution was to continue investing in singles wards, creating stronger nuclei for Mormon singles to congregate outside of Utah. They even created a church building in Arlington, Virginia exclusively for singles, a first for the faith.
Today, the singles community in the DC metro area comprises its own "stake," the Mormon term for a group of congregations, similar to a diocese. It has grown to roughly 5, members. Janzen is the stake president of this singles community. In his meeting with single women this summer, he said leadership became especially concerned by unmarried Mormons about a decade ago. Janzen said Mormon singles know they should be seeking a spouse, and professed faith that all who seek shall find. But he didn't say how. At the end of the conversation, he implored the women. The founder of Mutual says that while some people are just on the app to date, he considers marriage to be the "ultimate success.
For most of his life, Brown, the lawyer, felt he had three dating options. Ranked in order of preference, they were: While the LDS church does not encourage loveless marriages, they present marriage as a choice between a church-sanctioned marriage or no marriage at all -- an attempt to dissuade singles from looking outside the faith for companionship. Mormon doctrine is clear that temple marriage is essential to enter the highest echelons of heaven, and leadership never encourages interfaith dating or marriage.
That messaging made an impact on Brown, who said he did not consider dating a non-Mormon until he was nearly 30, when he was at a low point in his life and was tempted to try secular dating apps. Brown's realization is a radical idea within Mormonism -- one only found on the fringes of the faith.
Some Mormons who flirt with dating non-members live in areas with scant Mormon populations or feel they have exhausted their options at church. For many, Mutual brought them back to the Mormon dating fold, providing an incentive to seek a temple marriage that rhetoric alone could not. A recent convert to the church, Elle Bretherton said she faced loneliness as she adapted to a new life as a Mormon at Pepperdine. Far from the nearest singles ward, Bretherton did something discouraged by leadership: She, like Brown, dated non-Mormons. It just wasn't going to work.
After a particularly bad experience, Elle was drawn to download Mutual, which she had heard about through a friend. Within weeks, she had met her future husband. Like Bretherton, Brown faced the prospect of decreased observance as he ventured outside Mormonism to date. He says he attended church less while dating his non-Mormon girlfriend. Keep in mind that once a person turns 16, it does not mean they are necessarily going to want to date.
Dating and Courtship
When they do begin to date, it is encouraged that it is casual only and not serious, such as dating as friends or in groups. Mormons are encouraged to eat healthy and take care of their bodies. They're discouraged from drinking alcoholic beverages, coffee, tea, smoking of any kind, and use illegal and illicit drugs. If these are things you enjoy doing, don't consider dating a Mormon.
They only believe sexual relations are okay after you are married and only with your husband or wife. Arousing sexual emotions in any way before marriage is not allowed. The law of chastity also includes dressing and speaking about chastity appropriately. Viewing pornography or watching movies with nudity is not allowed. Keep in mind that every person is different.
While these are the guidelines of The Church of Latter-day Saints, everyone is different. Let them open up to you about what their personal beliefs and choices are. If you are not Mormon, you might not understand certain reasons the person you like does certain things. It is okay to not understand everything about their religion, but be open-minded to their ideas and beliefs.
Ask them questions about their religion and keep an unbiased, open mind. Accept them for who they are. Be aware of a potential mission.
Many Mormons go on missions when they are around 18 or 19 and are gone for 18 months for women and two years for men. They go somewhere and serve wherever the Church calls them to go. Learn if the person you are interested in is planning on going on a mission and keep that in mind if you are interested in them.
Make plans for a date. If you want to pursue the person you are interested in who is Mormon, and they seem interested in you back, take them on a date! Avoid bars and loud dance halls. Instead, take the person you like to the movies, dinner, on a hike, to the beach, sports events, and anything else the two of you like. If I'm a Mormon and someone touched my private parts, does that mean I lost my virginity? That's not how you lose virginity.
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But if the person did it without your permission, that's sexual assault, and you should get the police involved. Not Helpful 14 Helpful You can ask them if they want to date, but if they say no, repsect their wishes and their beliefs. You can always be friends with them. Not Helpful 12 Helpful I am going on a mission.
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Should I date before I go or should I wait until I am back? This is really up to you. Keep in mind that two years is a long time, so you should probably not date anyone seriously until you return. Not Helpful 6 Helpful You can date someone who is about to go on a mission, if they are interested in you.
Keep in mind that they might not want to date or at least not date anyone seriously until they return from their mission. Not Helpful 9 Helpful Just like any church, Mormons also get divorced. The Church does not encourage divorce, though, because of the sacred nature of marriage and our belief that temple marriages last for all of time and eternity, not just "till death do us part. You can date someone who is not on their mission yet, if they are over If they are interested in you, they might want to date you.
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Be aware they might not be looking to date or at least looking to date seriously, until after their mission. Married Mormons cannot have romantic relationships outside of the bonds of marriage. To do so would be to violate their marriage vows. Not Helpful 1 Helpful 8. Mormons do date people outside of the Church. If you start dating a Mormon seriously, you might want to consider converting or at least learning and participating in the beliefs of the Church.
Not Helpful 19 Helpful I'm 59 and a non-Mormon male. I'm interested in a year-old female Mormon. How do I go about dating her? Just like you would date anybody else! Just because she is LDS does not mean that you cannot date her. Ask her to go out for a soda not a coffee or beer , and see where the conversation takes you. If you want to know more about the Church and how it fits into her life, just ask! Not Helpful 1 Helpful 7.