I love him which is the only reason I stayed with him, and what's important to note is that we had agreed we were in a serious relationship before this night, so I turned around to him and said I'm not marrying a man who makes me have sex with him to stay so choose Jared Send a private message. I have the same situation. We don't live together. I feel like we match up for sex. But, the question is what if she marry another person when she finishes her college eventually? My girl friend is now questioning herself not to marry me after 3 years of wait. What should have been done?
I should not have to be waited? I'm questioning to the question. Jat Send a private message. Yes,,,,, your thinking is so good KingKong89 Send a private message. Hi Anonymous I am going to give you a very very good advice right now for which you will thank me later.
I think you are just getting really desperate and want to marry so that you can have sex with her just to satisfy yourself. You are making a big mistake. You are probably not sexually compatible with her. You also probably think that she is very hot and you would never get anyone like that. Well, that could be true but a marriage with an incompatible girl like that is only going to make your life hell.
There is no guarantee that she will let you have sex even after marriage. Most people end up in that situation and hardly get sex once per week, just imagine your situation in that scenario. Plus after having sex with her you will lose interest in a few years which happens in most marriages. Find me a really hot chic and i will find you a guy who is tired of banging her, trust me.
Best is to stay away from marriage altogether. If she has sex with you, fine, but dont get married. Or just move on. Zombie Send a private message. Time to break up. My gut feeling is if she can hold off for 10 months in spite of having an eager and ready partner on hand, there's a very strong chance that you two aren't sexually compatible and that's going to have some very serious very negative consequences for you and the relationship. Don't get me wrong.
I respect her choice, but it isn't one I'd welcome into my life either and after 10 months, I'm guessing you might be regretting that decision too. AskaGal Send a private message.
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I completely disagree with you! I was this lady and wanted sex a lot more than my husband!! Waiting for marriage does not make a woman asexual or lacking desire for one. That is a lie society got in your head. A woman on the contrary can have sex before marriage due to many factors and want less in the context of marriage vice versa. Sexual desires fluctuate and a couples sexual life has different seasons, more or less sex, over time. Also, a relationship dependent on sex without intimacy opening yourself up, no secrets, full trust , thrives for a lifetime. It sounds like this writer is making it about "sex soley" and "your needs alone" is why I said that.
I can see you "care" for her too. However, it is not what "keeps" people together.
To the gentleman seeking advice: Communication, love, friendship, and to all men If you want her then share openly your struggles and make it more about how much you "love her" and want to share a "deep intimate" bond through "making love" to her, not wanting your "sexual frustration" out. If you address it through, "needing a release", she will not see that as vital or worthy enough to truly see your concerns and give herself to you. Is pregnancy a fear of interrupting her studies?
Uncertainty of where your relationship is going? You need to be open about your concerns and deeply know hers. Women are people not a tool to be used. Sex is not a "relationship". It sounds like you want "her" not "sex" just for sex sake. To this man giving advice: It is not about hormones for those who wait, but conviction. Yet, conviction is real and influence decisions greatly. Make it about you two and not "sex".
You love her go to her openly, not other men who don't love her and think she can be tossed aside because her legs are closed. That mindset is sexist, selfish, immature, imsensitive, and unthoughtful. So why would she marry you with this approach??? Waiting doesn't have any thing to do with your sex drive!
Struggles can be real. You sound like you want her for the long haul, marriage, so you need her respect. I advice developing good character anyways. It will give you great respect as a man period. When it happens with true intimacy, sex. It says, I am not enough or worth having unless you have sex". This leaves a bad taste, scars, questions, doubts, lack of health, etc.
Is she more than that? Edited on October 2, at However, do you think your experience is normal and representative of the vast majority of women? It's not like she led him on pre-marriage and pretended she enjoyed something she didn't. He'd be the one at fault, for ignoring the massive red flag and even worse what if there are kids involved? Or, would it be better to just not take the risk in the first place and find someone who's clearly and obviously on the same page as him.
One of these two approaches carries far less risk for the guy than the other. Kbrown96 Send a private message. I'm a agnostic virgin who has contemplated waiting on my wedding night for sex for multiple reasons that includes my mental and sexual health, as well as the resealance of my relationship.
Yes, I have a sex drive.
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I mastubate, I fantasize often, I use Kegel balls, I may use toys. I use to watch porn at one point.
What it Means When Someone Says They Won’t Date You Unless You Sleep with Them
To assert as a man that women who have made this decision are asexual just really shows the extent of over-sexualization in our culture, to the extent that showing some level of restraint or self control when it comes to sex is "abnormal" now. Most to Least Likes: Least to Most Replies: Most to Least Replies: Why would I marry you?
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What it Means When Someone Says They Can’t Date You if You Want to Wait for Marriage
Is it rude to not eat everything on your plate? Do the benefits of change brought about by revolutions outweigh the costs? Is it fair that Oscar Pistorius' manslaughter conviction was overturned and changed to a murder conviction? Are young people's ideas disregarded just because they seem inexperienced? Here are nine things a person is conveying to you if they tell you sex is required to continue the relationship.
Do their sexual needs somehow trump your goals or values? The person you will ultimately fall in love with will not be concerned with only getting their sexual needs met. A healthy sex life comes through commitment, trust, and even friendship. This might sound odd in a Tinder, hook-up culture age, but ego driven sex will not lead to a successful long term relationship. Also, why would you want to be with someone who is selfish? If they really value you, they will wholly respect your decision to wait.
I'd be willing, yes.
Do you really want to date someone who gives you a performance evaluation? You may have heard sex is a great way to deal with relationship problems. Having sex before marriage might end up only being a bandaid to bigger issues. Authentic conversation uncovers wounds and heals relationships. Is this person willing to sit and talk through problems with you?
A few years ago, I wrote The Wife List. In fact, growing up, my parents had completely opposite political views. But they did share similar core beliefs.