So the Columbia guys, to me, are a huge breath of fresh air. Sure, there are the douchebag and socially awkward hyper-intellectual guys—those exist everywhere—but the pool of hyper-intellectual guys is a lot bigger so there are more nice guys to counterbalance them.
Relationship Status: It's Complicated
A lot of your experience at Barnard will depend on your past dating experiences in high school. Depending on your background and depending on who you hang out with, you might find some of the guys awkward or pretentious. It really depends on your own experiences. I, personally, have felt out the dating scene.
I know a lot of girls who really get around with the guys. One of my friends has dated and hooked up with quite a few people since getting here. She met them at a lot of various places: The list goes on. With that, I think that a girl who chooses to go to a school that is in line with her identity, just simplifying that … The people who I interact with best are people who are very comfortable with themselves.
There are girls at Columbia who are completely happy and comfortable with themselves and whatever else. But I really feel there are a good number of Barnard girls who know who they are and what they want, XYZ, and I have a good time. On that note, how has Barnard affected your dating life?
I've been dating the same girl for the past 10 months and she's a Barnard student. We met at a Columbia class and it worked out. Gender ratio doesn't help or hurt your odds? That's the conventional wisdom around this campus, that guys have the advantage. I've never felt that. I mean some guys around here are just not smooth. This man is smooth, so he's gonna get game anywhere. If you're going to praise me, I'm not going to deny it. I mean if you go to on any given night, do you really see that many more girls? It's hard because a lot of the guys at Columbia are gay anyway. This is not NYU.
I have a unique opinion that if a person wants to get laid, they're going to get laid. Male, female, anywhere in between. And it's just a matter of what your standards are. If I am a guy at Columbia or a girl at Barnard, and I want to hook up with someone within the span of 24 hours, regardless of the pool of thousands of students, male and female, thousands of undergrad, grad, what else at Barnard and Columbia, we also live in New York-fucking-City.
If you want to hook up with someone, if that is your main objective, take a subway ride. Or take a walk a mile in any direction and you can find an eligible bachelor or bachelorette. You can go online too. This goes outside Barnard and Columbia: In life, the only determinant of your game, your hook-up ability, is solely your own—within your own control, within your own hands, and whether you grasp that or not The Eye: This is a very inspirational speech.
We can do it! Dating is different though, hooking up is one thing.
Yeah, but if dating were simple, there wouldn't be so many stories about it. If you can explain love to me, go ahead, I dare you. We are college students, we're not going to understand love for another 15 years.
Post Digital Network
Now that Evan has given his "Columbia girls don't have to worry about having the disadvantage because there's always Craigslist" speech That's not what I mean! I'm saying everyone can do what they want. But there are some people who don't and feel like they can't, or don't know how.
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It's the awkwardness of college, and honestly the biggest obstacle is themselves. And finding a consenting partner. Hey, I went to Take Back the Night last semester. No, wait you're just saying "It's solely in their own control," but you just have to remember to make sure the other person consents. Well, consent is sexy.
About the authors
Welcome to new student orientation. I agree and you can quote me on this: Don't go out and rape people. This is a poor decision for any Columbia girl who feels like there are too many Barnard people. What do you think of them? Who sits around and writes those? Who really sits around and types out those long, words. So why pay attention?
Why pay attention to the angry rants of… LH: Sitting behind a computer and ripping someone apart is weakness one way or the other and unless you can look someone in the eye and say, "I don't like you and everything you stand for," unless you can do that, shut up. Regardless of what you believe and what the ideal situation would be, how do you think the Barnard-Columbia tension plays into your interactions on campus?
how are columbia boys?? have you guys felt out the
Do you think that it is as big of a deal as people make it seem online? Or it isn't as big of a deal? Do you feel these tensions in every day life? Boys and girls, we all go to a tier one school. Yeah, we can have a pissing contest between the two of us, but please, go to City College and bitch about not going to Harvard. We are privileged—privileged beyond most people in this country's wildest expectations or dreams.
We might have our petty differences about whatever XYZ, but appreciate the shit that you have. I agree with that, and I also hope the situation the way it is doesn't stay forever between Barnard and Columbia. I think what you said about the ambiguity is really important. I think some of the stereotypes come from the fact that there is this ambiguity in our relationship, and maybe if it was clearer, then there would be less tension. I don't think Columbia's perfect and I don't think Barnard's perfect. I would love a Barnard advisor to help me. Do you understand why the tension exists on the Columbia side?
A Statistical Look At NYU’s Dating Scene: It’s Better Than You Might Expect
I don't think there's an excuse for it. I'm never sure exactly what it's based on, like, do people feel threatened? I don't think anyone has anything to be threatened by. I wonder if it's become this idea that it's like, a tradition that you have to be horrible about Barnard. I also just don't think it's as many people as it seems to be, but just like, a very vocal Bwog contingent. I am part of a pre-orientation program, [and] people come in with like, various ideas that they've read about on Bwog or that their friends have told them about.
I feel like it's impossible to come in with preconceived ideas if you haven't gotten them from somewhere, they're just not coming from good places. So I'm on SGA. Columbia tour guides sometimes say a lot of negative things about Barnard so these [prefrosh] get this impression of Barnard before they even know what it is, and on top of that, I found out that during visit weekend, their night activity is to go to the Varsity Show, which is funny in many ways, and for students who attend Barnard and Columbia, I think we understand the joke, but we also take it with a grain of salt.
I've been a part of the NSOP consent program, been an OL, been on several retreats that include both Columbia and Barnard students, and I personally don't feel that there's any tension. I do agree that when I was an OL that certain people had this preconceived notion of the schools.
But even when [administrators] presenting the schools are like, "OK, here's a sheet about details and info on GS, but we're not the school that has all these older students. So even when people present it, I think those who may not have heard of it kind of get the notion. But it's also that person's [choice]: Do you notice any substantive differences between the two student bodies?
I'm part of Greek life so a lot of my friends are across schools—it's Barnard friends, a couple SEAS friends, and a lot of CC friends, so I don't find it an issue coming up in terms of ratio. And a girl in CC got me a job this summer and I worked with her. It didn't come up in terms of "What's on your transcript: She got me the same job she had, and it was really great. Before you came to Barnard, did you have certain expectations of what the relationship would be like, and after being here, how have those changed or not changed?
When I got the little mini thing [pamphlet] "Columbia-Barnard Relationship," I was like, "Why are you giving me this and why is this such a big deal? So I kind of came to it not really knowing anything and I was just like, "What's going on? Like, why are we talking so much about this? Do I have to care about this?
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And that's the thing, is that some people don't care about it, it's like, "Uh, whatever. Even [with] my friends, it depends what they want to do about it. The impressions about the relationship from the administration—those packages that they gave you on tours, what you were expecting before Barnard—has the relationship lived up to what the packet said?
I think, stepping back from it—not even stepping back—it's a brilliant relationship. I think if we think about it properly, it's absolutely incredible. We get cross-registration for classes, we get the extracurriculars, the shared space. Each college gets to keep its own identity. I think it is a wonderful relationship and it is such a gift, maybe especially for Barnard people, because we are the smaller school.
But maybe for other people too, maybe you've taken a great class at Barnard, maybe you like Hewitt or something. I think that one of the problems definitely is the Columbia administration. I want to say the website is one of the key problems. Because Barnard's like, "Barnard College is affiliated with Columbia University," it's like, on everything: