But Dating promotes more than just touching. It promotes hugging, kissing, cuddling and much more. May Allaah protect us. Islaam teaches us that real love between a man and a woman, that is acceptable and allowed by Allaah is only that between a husband and his wife. Surely, there are signs in this for those who think. It is a purity and innocence that is a virtue, regardless for a man or a woman. The Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam said: The choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime.
It should not be taken lightly, nor left to chance or hormones.
It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life — with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement. The following steps should be adopted: Family involvement in the choice of a marriage partner helps assure that the choice is based not on romantic notions, but rather on a careful, objective evaluation of the compatibility of the couple.
Just a Muslim Man Looking for answers in a Lost world: Why is Dating Haram?
Click here to leave your feedback. What Islaam Says About Dating. Subscribe For New Articles Join 50, other followers. Biography of Muhammad s. September 10, Love is in Giving:: August 4, City in the sky: The women used to wear long chaste dresses and their dating did not involve the close intimacy that we see today. No premarital sex is allowed in Islam. Therefore, no dating is allowed on the premise that dating inevitably leads to premarital sex.
The choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime.
- Dating – According to Qur’an and Hadith | ISLAMWorld's Greatest Religion!.
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It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life - with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement. It is Islamically permissible for a couple to meet in chaperoned, or group environment. In Islam consent is very important- that is neither women nor men can be married against their will.
Islam has given this freedom of choice to both young men and women - they cannot be forced into a marriage that they don't want. Successful indeed are the believers; who are reverent during their Contact Prayers Salat. And they avoid vain talk. And they give their obligatory charity Zakat.
Can We Date in Islam?
And they maintain their chastity. Only with their spouses, or those who are rightfully theirs, do they have sexual relations; they are not to be blamed. Those who transgress these limits are the transgressors.
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And tell the believing women to subdue their eyes, and maintain their chastity. They shall not reveal any parts of their bodies, except that which is necessary. They shall cover their chests, and shall not relax this code in the presence of other than their husbands, their fathers, the fathers of their husbands, their sons, the sons of their husbands, their brothers, the sons of their brothers, the sons of their sisters, other women, the male servants or employees whose sexual drive has been nullified, or the children who have not reached puberty.
They shall not strike their feet when they walk in order to shake and reveal certain details of their bodies. All of you shall repent to GOD, O you believers, that you may succeed.
Can We Date in Islam?
There are clear verses in the Quran against the natural results of dating; from the seemingly innocent kiss to the more obvious. A question arises as to how they met each other before their marriage? Was it a marriage arranged by their parents? They had probably met at work and dated each other. In the past Muslims did not date because of arranged marriages. Are parents in North America going to arrange the marriages of their young children as is done in some Islamic countries? In Islamic countries there are matrimonial brokers and agents who work to match the brides and bridegroom.
Parents have the support of the community in finding spouses for their children. Relatives, networking, social gatherings particularly weddings, make arranging marriages easier. In the United States, parents are left alone and cut off from these networks. The more educated the girl becomes, the less contented a parent feels in arranging for her marriage. African-American Muslims, as well as Arab and Asian immigrants from cultures that practice arranged marriages--are now unenthusiastic to do the same for their own children.
In an arranged marriage, a Muslim family usually investigates the prospective candidate further - talking with teachers, professors, employers, friends, family, Imams, colleagues, etc. It is a well-known fact that Islamic religious or cultural events are often segregated by gender?
So how are the young North American Muslims supposed to meet and marry each other? The first group is "Strict Muslims" who date halal in an Islamically permissible style. The second group I call "Eid Muslims," because many are not strict in practice and attend mosques only on holidays. While technically they are dating haram unlawfully in Islam , without chaperones, they're keeping physical intimacy to a minimum and parental involvement at a maximum.
The third group dates "Sex and the City"-style definitely haram , openly and freely leading a non-Islamic lifestyle, having premarital sex sometimes in a series of monogamous relationships. These non-Muslim women sometimes convert to Islam and marry their Muslim boyfriends. But some are unceremoniously dumped when the man's parents arrange a halal marriage. The woman's family is naturally upset at how she has been treated, resulting in a misconception that Muslim men treat women poorly. Ironically, the "Sex and the City" Muslim man can date freely without risking his standing in the community, while a Muslim woman with the same dating pattern would not only gain a bad reputation but risk losing a good arranged marriage proposal.
This double standard and poor treatment of women is not endorsed by Islam but by a general patriarchy that pervades many world cultures, including America. They insist that their girlfriends, with whom they once openly had sex, will now have to wear a cover and stay at home, and that their dating relationship was haram.
A friend of mine who had such an experience broke off the engagement with the Muslim man but retained her commitment to Islam. But she told me she is now committed to waiting to have sex again till she marries. Halal dating is the first cousin of arranged marriage, with young people finding their own mates--within the guidelines of Islam--instead of their parents arranging marriages for them.
Because the Qur'an advocates equality between the sexes, it does not permit premarital sex--since all the negative consequences fall upon the woman, including pregnancy, the social stigma, and the raising of the child. Premarital sex is also forbidden for other reasons, including learning to discipline oneself and practice self-control. Under Islam, when a man has sex with a woman to whom he is not married, he is being disrespectful of her, whether she is consensually participating or not. So young Muslims who engage in halal dating seek a commitment first and are vigilant about staying true to their religion.
Less often they meet at school or in their local community. They spend time talking over the phone or on the Internet and even going on dates, though for Strict Muslims, a chaperone is always present.
Once they have decided they like each other, the couple is married under Islamic law by signing a marriage contract. This event, called the nikah, is as binding as a marriage. However, the couple is seen as engaged in most Islamic cultures and in American-Islamic culture. The signing of the agreement allows them to spend more time together. Strict Muslims still have a chaperone present and do not even hold hands.
One views the other as a life partner, not a hot prom date. Eventually they will marry in a ceremony attended by their friends and family members.
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Sometimes, though, the betrothal may break up, but, because the couple was engaged in halal dating, no disgrace attaches to them. Many Muslims marry non-Muslim women who convert as a result of halal dating. Another example of halal dating that resulted in marriage is that of a divorced non-Muslimah, who met a Muslim of Pakistani descent in her medical school class. The Pakistani husband even adopted her daughter from a previous marriage.
Many non-Muslims see Islam as a gigantic, static monolith, when, in fact, Islam can be very dynamic. Shi'ite Muslims, for instance, sometimes use the device of muta to facilitate dating. A muta is a temporary marriage recognized under Shi'ite practice.