I agree Donna, and those are some of the considerations to keep in mind while getting into a relationship with an older man. I am not saying that these things can not be overcome though. To each their own. Marrying a man 10 years or older may cause issues. His friends may be his age and a women may not have as much in common as someone her own age.
He may not have the strength or energy to travel the world with a women, go out dancing. His interests may be a lot different. Please live your life. The truth is that everyone's romantic partner is their choice. Stop listening to society and follow your heart. It's no one else's business what the two of you decide. That being said, obviously the man should be single.
Honestly, that's just common sense though. I'm fallen for a man that is 21 years older than me. I'm 43 he's He's so sexy though and still full of energy. I regret big time even I live with him till now for the sake of my young son.
TBO, what is your problem? In her world you are the Alpha Man. However, marriage and kids so fast? Whether she is a virgin or not is not an issue. The issue at hand is trust! What really worries me is that she is 17, a teenager that changes her wants, ideals and ideas every 5 minutes. For her, what is the meaning of love? Today she loves you, tommorrow she will be in love with Justin Beaver or with the new Policeman in town. You are looking for trouble!
I have feelings for this older guy When I'm around him Most of the things in this article is true But, I think relationships are personal and therefore subjective. I have been with my guy for 14 yrs. We just clicked from the get go. All the things you listed here are subjective. I wanted to have children. But its not imperative to have biological children.
Adoption is an option if I decide to go ahead with it. At first, I did fall prey to most of the negative reasons you cited in your blog and decided to try dating younger guys. They were a bust. Nothing compared to my relationship with my older mature guy.
I would rather have a short but truly fulfilling marriage with my older guy than marry a younger man who may make my life miserable in the short future. A high Quality of Life is based on less superficial things. Suzzana, whatever you think is also inconsequential! It is just a mere personal opinion without any sociological or scientific fact! My comnent is based on series of books written by scientist that are well respected on the academia and based on actual research. My other source that I did mentioned comes from the Bible.
If you do not agree with science and research nor me or any other educated person cannot have a civilized conversation about this topic! After reading many of the comments here, I see that many young women have married ridiculously older men. Whatever reasons led to this, my heart goes out to them; once they have evolved and their psychological issues have passed, there could be many problems and regrets. I don't think its normal for a woman to want a man more than 10 years older, at the most.
I also think that once society deems it more acceptable, women will start to admit that younger men are very appealing. Sexually, youth is appealing to everyone - including women. I had older-man fantasies in my youth because I had issues with my own father. When I tried it, I was quite turned off, sad to say. Unless the older man looks like James Bond, it is not too appealing for a woman. I personally have never been attracted to anyone more than 6 years my senior. Maybe, had I been dirt poor, I would have forced myself to marry a much older man but since I did not have to, I did not.
This article is rubbish! Woman by nature is attracted to older men. By nature woman is hypergamous, tend to marry upward, and monogamous. While men by nature tends to be hypogamous, marries downward, and polygamous. Since women and society tend to force monogamy there is the tendency of serial monogamy.
Serial monogamy usually goes hand in hand with something called menopause, in which women tend to lose interest in sex and men tend to look for another women and there comes the divorce. Marrying a younger women in a worst case scenario it can end up during sex by the young women giving the man a heart attack, and that, is dying happy!
I date women 20 years younger than me because ive kept myself well. One of the main reasons is men my age know how to be a man. Younger men struggle with this today. They dont take charge, they ask too many questions, they arent humble, and in lots of cases they arent tough. The list goes on and on. Its not about money. No man wants to date a woman that wants him for his money. The attraction is his hustle and drive. The woman i date now is great. Shes funny, cool, and is interesting. Shes not some 22 year old club chick.
Been with my husband for 13 years we are 29 years apart he still grade in bed he's 64 years old great sex Great Adventures we love each other for a compatible that's all there is to it God has blessed our marriage also and again sex is great! Somehow I've fallen in love with my 54 yo neighbor I will say he is awesome in bed, very mentally, physically and emotionally attentive to my children and I.
Hello, I am 28 and my husband We have been together for almost 4 years so far. We have a son. He was single when we met, simply he hadn't found a soulmate. When we met he was unemployed because the factory where he had worked for 10 years had closed. So I find offensive pretending that all women dating older men do it for money. I found him sweeter and more reliable, that's all. By time he started to work again. With the son he has far more energy than me, this is a thing that surprised me very much: A man in his 40s is still strong and pretty young but at the same time not immature and superficial like younger men.
I think that men in their 40s are better marriage-material, and not just for money, oh no! That's the last why. Just look at how younger people are: I am tired of everyone thinking if you are only with an older man for money. I am stl supportive. He has a farm he loves and I have a house in town. His farm is left to his daughters so I will be in my house when he passes. I love him more than the men I have dated who were younger. He is a widower who never went out on his wife. Many older men have better morals than younger men who are lying womanizer not all but many. My man is the sweetest man I know and I totally trust him..
Wow i just wanted to scream when i was reading all the disses this person was saying about older men. Older men are so awesome most of them anyway there are your few that are not still as grown up but they have so much knowledge and so do older women. My choice has always been a oh he is much to old for you Man Older men and younger women can connect way better than same age couples. They know exactly what the other one needs emotionally. When you have your younger man still trying to prove himself in life the wives get neglected a lot in her emotional needs she is ready for that way earlier in life so being with her more established man he is definitely ready to love her like the crazy passion that she needs and deserves in life.
She doesn't have to wait years for that attention she usually is so craving and then have that same age man get tired of her. Like a lot of men do being married to a woman closer in age. I just know it works out that way a lot. I always prefer a big age gap like this person just sat there and shot down! That's my peace today. I'm not have an affair I'm married to an older man. We had a 2 year old daughter together. She is strong, smart, and beautiful.
Older men can produce amazing children. This article is dumb. I met a year-old when I was He was able to provide financial security and a certain lifestyle. We broke up as friends 3 years later because he was settling down and I wanted to keep exploring, being social and crazy etc. I soon met a locally known man and we are now together — I 29, he Though he is much older than my husband and poor as dirt, he is more energetic, virile and strong.
More even than myself!
We are more suited to each other. I think the above article shows limited understanding of age-gap relationships, though overall it's fairly truthful, just shallow. I love men for who they are but do acknowledge I simply feel more attracted to older men. It's simply a physical thing — I like the rugged skin, crow's feet and silver hair.
I believe that can be true the other way around as well. We don't have daddy or daughter issues and people who care can see we are equals. Another thing that's worth mentioning is that most people don't consider that it's not easy to emotionally satisfy an older man. Most people will say "She's getting off easy because he must just be crazy about her and never complain. It's much more a challenge for the woman than people think but I believe worth it, for me at least. I am 19 years Old Currently talking to a 29yr old. We Have A great Connection. We talk all The Time He supports me and he's here for me when I need him to be.
He has a sense Of Humor Like me. I am 28 with a 63 year old who treats me very amazing met him after my husband died , very very good sex ,he also is very caring because he ensure that I have everything,give me financial advice so I can have my own business like him.. And I love him for these little things. I am 35 and married to a 60 year old. We have 3 beautiful girls together ages 15, 11 and 5.
However, I find these days he is not interested in sex, love making etc. I am starting to become frustrated, angry and resentful. Becsuse I don't want to hurt him I find myself masterbating but I am generally unsatisfied. He is a great provider, father etc. I'm having a guy which is 49 and I'm We met through online apps and he told me he have three kids grown up.
Well I like him at first and started to get to know him well by checking his Facebook and Instagram. After a week plus, I found out he talk to another girl which he want a long term relationship with younger girls but he don't want to involve any kids if I'm pregnant or not. He doesn't want kids anymore as he have three kids. Does that mean he just want someone who is going to be together just partner and not lifetime partner. Hi Wendy, it sounds like he is not able to trust you, which is weird because you guys have been dating for about six months now, and he wants you to move in with him.
It is likely that he is married with wife and a son, and doesn't want his wife to find out. You should do your own investigation and find out more about the man you intend to move in with. I am a 33 years old woman blessed with a wonderful career. Life had been blissful so far though I did face a lot of challenges including a failed long distance relationship with a man I wanted to spend my entire life with.
He was two years younger to me, not matured and was not ready to have bigger commitments. Leaving him was indeed the most painful decision I had to take. Now, almost after 6 years, I met this man, who's Honestly, he's the sweetest person I've ever come across in my life. He's such a caring, humble, loving, affectionate, and above all treats a woman rightly with much respect. Yes, he's married with three beautiful grown ups but unfortunately is neglected by his wife who doesn't seem to be bothered about his emotional needs anymore. He's very honest to me and have always mentioned about his love for the family although they don't appreciate him.
I adore him so much. Although I do feel guilty for loving him, I can't help myself as the saying goes; Love is totally Blind.. I wonder why did we even meet and share a lot of common things together. Should I proceed or forget.. I am almost 26 and my boyfriend is There are no issues so far. We love spending time together.. Even if it's doing nothing but napping together. We cook for Each other. For me, it's not about daddy issues or finances. I have always been attracted to older men. I believe I am capable of having a loving relationship with someone who is older.
Ridicule has been an issue. Usually by people who dont know us. For those peoe who we consider friends do not care and are happy for us. I married a man 17 years older than I. When we married I was It was his my first marriage his second. I loved the man I married and we were very happy BUT, the last 5 years have been very difficult.
I was warned by my mom about marrying an older man. I only thought about the present. Now, 19 years into our marriage, I'm in the thrawls on menopause and my husband is not as active as he once was. He blames any discourse on my menopause and that I'm not the woman he feel in love with. The bottom line is we all change but if we do it together we have a better chance.
My husband cant turn the clock back and I'm to young to be old. I Am 30 years and my husband is 61 I don't have sex with him anymore because he can't do it any more he is sick and I Am in married and I never cheat on him he give me hard time argue control to much abuse I want to divorce but am afride because am a forigne.
I am 45 and my husband is 68 years old but we have the best relationship. He loves mes madly and always want to make me happy in every way. He cares for me as a dad. I love him for who he is. He is divorced with 3 kids, financial stability has been up and down. We both have the same income and at times I have had to pick up the bills when he could not work.
Why Do Women Choose Older Men?
I love him because he makes me feel good about my self, he lifts me up and makes me smile, and I do the same for him. I don't see an age difference until someone refers to him as my dad. I married someone 15 years younger than me.
Because I had no children from my first marriage, I felt that I would not have the challenges others do. I think I'm correct. I can take care of her well, and we're both able to settle down and have a family. I'm seeing a man that's 39 years older then me, I am 19, we haven't done anything sexual yet and he has told me he really doesn't want to do anything sexual with me he just loves my company and enjoys the time we spend together We just hang out and have fun and go out on dates and talk about a bunch of random things, stories from the past ect. He tells me I make him really happy and he also does the same for me I know this may sound terrible to people who don't think this kind of life style is appropriate but don't knock it till you try it I guess haha In life you have to take chances or you'll miss out on a lot!!
Even the most negative medical study doesn't come close to using the word "usually". Lol the poll wording is so biased - why does it ask if you'd have an AFFAIR with an older man, instead of whether you'd get into a relationship with one? The irony is I actually found him more immature than the guy I am currently dating 4 years my senior.
I think this article leaves out one important point; if an older man is interested in a woman much younger, surely that says something about his OWN maturity levels? What makes him reject women his own age? Is it really something so superficial as they don't look as hot anymore, or is it something deeper?
Dear Mariella: My year-old daughter is dating a year-old man | Life and style | The Guardian
Is he unable to keep up with the smart, self-assured mind of a more mature woman, for example? I didn't realise it at the time but, in some ways my ex seemed to enjoy being the one 'in control', by dating a much younger woman. I'm not saying this is always the case but, it's important to look at the other factors in his life to accurately gauge if he is actually an older MAN. Of course we all fall into rough patches in life that can affect these perceptions whether that be redundancy, repossession or divorce , but the important thing is to look at his maturity timeline as a whole.
Does it mirror yours a woman much younger than him , or does it go beyond what you've already learnt from life? I am a Mistress for 9 years with an older man. We see each other everyday and share everything. He is my best friend and the love of my life. I knew up front that he has a family and they take a priority.
He treats me with kindness and is very generous. I see us being together till death.
You have articulated your situation well. I wish both of you the very best, and look forward to further updates from you. As you say, let's watch this space: I do find many points in this article to be true. For 7 years I have been with someone 13 years my senior.
We have 1 child together, who we adore more than anything but he wants no more cause of his age. He is only I am devastated since I am so young and have so more life still in me. I will Tell my son to never get involved with a younger women no matter how tempting. My new partner Lilt just posted the above message about us, which came as a positive surprise to me.
This motivated me to write a few lines on this site as well. Yes, she is indeed 22 years younger than me, and could be my daughter. On paper, we have very little in common. This is certainly a bit scary for both of us. We have received rather mixed comments from family members and friends. Most of them are a bit concerned. My oldest daughter 17 years of age had already a chat with my new partner. She was surprisingly positive and happy for her dad.
After having spent up to five hours per day on Skype together, I have to admit that I cannot wait to meet her in Johannesburg in three days. She has certainly swept me off my feet. I am so much looking forward to talking to her in person. Please let me clarify that this is not just about sex from either side. I am fully aware of my responsibility as the older person in the relationship, and I know how it may look for bystanders. Therefore, I will make sure that she is feeling comfortable with whatever happens between us in the future. I have not searched actively for a young person.
Previous partners were around the same age usually two years older than me. I have no intention to be a father figure, sugar daddy or a ticket to a potentially better life somewhere else. Finally, I am also not after a nurse or carer. We will decide together within about ten days how to move matters forward.
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I hope that we discover sufficient ground for a happy and long-lasting relationship as equal partners. At what point does the age difference become scandalous? Throw out the obvious examples as outliers. The late Anthony Quinn was 81 when he impregnated a year-old. The late Tony Randall was 75 when he married his year-old wife. Playboy founder Hugh Heffner has several girlfriends, most of them half a century his junior.
Age is what it is. For one thing, most people do not want their relationship to be the equivalent of gossip tabloid fodder among their own social circles. A date I recently went on showed the woman to be intelligent, sweet, accomplished, and attractive. We both suspected the age difference might be significant, but avoided the topic for as long as possible.
Yet denying reality serves no purpose. She thought I was I was hoping she was in her late twenties. Five years is one thing. Even ten years one can start rationalizing. As John and Lauren got older, however, the creepiness rule differed from how people actually responded.
Yet according to the survey, 37 was well outside the age range of what is socially acceptable. The results also showed that the creepiness rule is too restrictive about how old you can date when you are young, but becomes too lenient as you get older. Yet, people surveyed were fine with John and Lauren seeing someone in their early 30's. When John and Lauren are 60, the creepiness rule allows them to date anyone older than themselves the official cap is However, society places more restrictive age limits of 71 and 75 respectively.
Overall, the creepiness rule does not accurately represent what people find socially acceptable; people are more judgmental than what the creepiness rule implies. If the creepiness rule is wrong, then I needed a new rule to guide my non-existent love life. As I reviewed the data, I realized that one rule was not enough. When it comes to dating older, women have the advantage. According to the survey, a 20 year-old John can date someone who is However, when Lauren is 30, she is supposed to date someone who is at least I not only created separate rules for men and women but also created different rules to determine how old and how young each gender can date.
The charts below compares the outputs of the revised rules with the predictions of the original creepiness rule.