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Online Dating Sucks self. I'm female, in my 30s, I have a good career in operations and engineering, I'm an excellent significant other, and I have no children yet Quite the contrary, I'm self-conscious just like most people and My face blends in a sea of a million ads. Yet, here I am single with absolutely no legitimate prospects. So I decided about a year ago to try online dating. Nice, geeky men who are my cup of tea never ever hit on me IRL So why not online, right? No one ever thinks I'm real!!!! It is so incredibly frustrating hence my rant.
I get that there are trolls and people catfishing out there, but jeez I tried uploading a picture on my profile and the sheer volume of hate I received is utterly disturbing. Within the first few weeks, I decided that I should reverse image search myself to see if that was why people thought I was fake. Sure as anything, I found 3 fake profiles using pictures of me. I reported them and they got taken down.
I should have been golden, right? I tried so many sites and the hate and accusations continued. No one ever gave me the chance to send a proof picture me holding up my username or something or video chat even though I actively offered to prove myself. Completely frustrated, I started doing picture-less ads. I avoided sending my picture as long as I could and I even explained to each and every person that I corresponded with that I really was real what was happening and that I'd be glad to prove it and even meet IRL sooner rather than later I've been told that people that look like "her," aren't educated and don't correspond the way I do.
So all intelligent women are fugly? I was focusing on my career and life in my 20s.
Way to have such an archaic view of women! No, I am not a gay man trying to "picture collect. The worst is the men that have seen an ad with my face on it Just because you saw my face somewhere does not mean that I'm not as lonely as everyone else. I'd love to have a family with a nice guy. I'm just like everyone else you mean spirited jerks! I gotta say, those responses were some of the cruelest.
So to all you guys out there who thought I was fake, who sent cruel messages, and never gave me a chance to even prove who I am In some ways, the lot of you that I've encountered are almost worst than the Chads that hit on me IRL.
Online Dating Sucks : offmychest
At least they aren't downright rude to me from the get go I was really bad at dating IRL so, like you, decided to give online a shot. As a man, I get absolutely no responses from anyone. Sick and tired of this, I finally found the way. I found my dating demographic if you will - Meetup. I started going to toastmasters meetup to improve my public speaking, hiking and rock climbing meetups because I enjoy those things.
And I have met not only my SO, but also many wonderful friends through that. You are not reduced to a picture, and the connection is easier felt. You just need to find your demographic. I wish you the best. What if my interests arent particularly group orientated? French lessons, video games.. Plenty of language meetups. At least 2 Spanish language ones, an Italian one, a Korean, and a more obscure Russian one in my area.
I believe I came across a French language one in Los Angeles on meetup. I'm sure Facebook will turn up more results. I found myself dropping standards to the floor and still I was burdened with keeping boring conversations going, skimming through profiles to find normal, non-artist worshipping, monogamous, straight, intellectual, athletic and interesting people.
I came away with nada. I don't care anymore. When I find her I find her. I'm so out of the dumb game. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than deal with one more dumb dating site and jaded individual. Guys always say women have such an easy time with online dating because we get hundreds of responses.
Why Online Dating Sucks
Yea, hundreds of responses that end up in hate. What does 1 or matter when none of them actually end up in a real life encounter? I feel your pain. The online dating world is volatile and I have found myself as a man in his mid's hurt and ignored more than anything else.
I stress myself out to the extreme sending girls a message and to not even get a reply is crushing. I wish you the best of luck, because I'm sure you're every bit as wonderful as you sound.
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I usually just send a non-professional selfie. I've really tried all different approaches all with the same result over the last year. Hence my frustration and rant Even selfies come across as fake. Pictures with friends would come across as real you can block out their faces. Put some effort into the bio and add some personality to it. The spam ones are normally a quick 1 sentence. Also put some effort into the conversations so you don't come across as spam. I agree that online dating can be frustrating I've tried all different types of pictures since I'm so incredibly gun shy about it.
That includes but is not limited to: I've even sent what I would consider really unattractive pictures like me shoving nachos into my face or something. I've done face only pictures, body pictures, holiday pictures coinciding with the current holiday I've even tried pictures with me and a pet or zoo animal because for some reason I thought a cute fluffy animal might make me seem more real.
I often write full page responses that give details pertaining to what that person wrote so it doesn't seem like a copy and pasted spam response. I do that even if I just got a, "sup? Legitimately, I've put a lot of effort into it. And you're right, it could be worse. But when I think about all of the wasted hours and effort and money for these sites only to have to constantly defend being a real person, it drives me bonkers. For all of you guys out there trying to online date How hard is it ask for a video chat or a proof picture pre-craziness?
Welcome to Reddit,
I'll go back to old skool. Sorry you're having such a tough time online. The "original way" will certainly allow you to avoid the mess you've encountered online. I'm a 26 year old dude, who honestly enjoys online dating. It's been pretty smooth sailing for me, don't feel like I'm any better looking than the average dude I try to keep my profile pictures normalish, keep my profiles descriptive instead.
My real reason for online dating is a lack of social circle I want to interact with, from an opposite sex perspective. Best thing, advice wise if you decide to jump back in to it, don't take it seriously. Maybe I'm a goof, but I definitely believe in the someone out there for everyone addage, maybe it's online, maybe it's not for you. In defense of men. When i was single, the number of times the pic didn't match the meet was years apart.
Add your reverse google image search brings up flags, and you scare away someone easily. But online dating is like any other. And being rude is inexcusable. Man in mid 20's here. Online dating sucks ass for guys. We message girls so often and we rarely get responses. I did sign up on some of them, but I did it because I legitimately wanted to try to date people from them, and maybe find something lasting. And as I write this, I've had some mild success: I've been on a number of first dates, and a couple second dates, but nothing that's really gone past that point yet; dating involves a lot of trial and error before you get it right with the right person.
If you stick with it, there are worthwhile people out there to talk to and connect with. The problem lies in finding those people. The single biggest problem with online dating is that it seems like every single profile is exactly the same. I've looked at hundreds of profiles across multiple dating websites, and they might use different words, but with very few exceptions they all invariably say the same things.
Here's the basic pattern for women:. I'm seriously not exaggerating here at all. If you just read profiles, it seriously seems like everyone is a carbon copy of each other. Nobody is willing to actually show their personality in their profile, and instead they all just describe themselves in the most generic way possible, which means the only thing you really have to go on is how they look in their pictures.
That leads into the next problem:. Everybody tells you about themselves, but nobody demonstrates anything. Anybody can put in a profile "people tell me I'm funny. There's an old adage in the writing world that basically says show, don't tell. The same thing goes for dating profiles: Don't tell me you're smart, demonstrate some vocabulary. Don't tell me what you're like, write your profile in such a way that you show me what you're like.
And the third, most irritating problem: Nobody has any idea how to communicate. Most men tend to send messages like "Hey baby" and "DTF? Someone I went out with recently told me on our date, when we were discussing the merits of online dating, that she'd received one message from someone that just said "Do you like giving blowjobs? I want you to let that sink in for a minute: Remember when I wrote Too Many Douches , where I complained about how low the bar has been set by the stupid men in our society?
- Online dating stinks, but it seems to work.
- Why Online Dating Sucks · How to not SUCK;
- Online Dating Sucks For Men Because Of Women Like Me.
This is basically an extension of that. All I have to do in order to stand out in the world of online dating is take the time to read what the person I'm sending a message to has written about herself. Then, on the other side, we have the women. Most women won't send the first email at all; they'll browse profiles, see one they like, and then just hope that that person decides to contact them.