When men message women, women tend to respond most often to men around their own ages.
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A year-old woman will have better luck messaging a year-old man than a year-old one, according to the data. And a year-old man is more likely to respond to a message from a year-old woman than a message from any other age group. When women make the first move, the age gap dating norm is reversed. I asked my friend Trevor, a year-old mathematician, what he made of it.
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They have more interesting jobs and hobbies, and their profiles are just better … no stupid selfie-only profiles. Did that explain it? Across all ages, straight women write shorter profiles than straight men. And then there are those year-old women who really clean up with the year-old dudes.
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Cindy has been dating men in their 20s for the past 15 years. Working in tech, she sometimes feels she has more in common with somethings than older men. When I spoke with women who message much younger men on OkCupid, most of them told me something similar.
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This made me wonder, does the creepiness rule actually reflect what is socially acceptable when it comes to age differences in dating? In other words, does the creepiness rule actually reflect what society finds…creepy? The internet is divided on the topic. The researchers approached random people in public and asked them to imagine themselves in a romantic relationship with an attractive person of the opposite sex.
So I decided to find the answers myself. I tackled this paradigm-shifting research the only way I knew how: I created a survey. Although I could have hit the streets of New York and surveyed people in-person Buunk style, I decided to mTurk my survey.
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I try to avoid as much social interaction in my daily life as possible. This can vary from transcribing a movie, to identifying an item on a receipt, to taking a survey about hypothetical romantic relationships. Within a few days I got responses: As John and Lauren got older, however, the creepiness rule differed from how people actually responded. Yet according to the survey, 37 was well outside the age range of what is socially acceptable. The results also showed that the creepiness rule is too restrictive about how old you can date when you are young, but becomes too lenient as you get older.
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Undressed: What’s the Deal With the Age Gap in Relationships?
They met at the University of Hawaii in November , when she was a law student and he was a sophomore undergraduate. In April , they had an intimate beachside wedding in Hawaii, and they now have a 6-year-old son, Marek. But when he was set up with Siegner by a mutual friend, matchmaker Sameera Sullivan , he says his life turned around. And unlike his previous flings, Siegner wanted a serious relationship and was straightforward about her desires.
Soon after they met, he cleaned up his act and left the entertainment industry.
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He now works as a personal trainer, and the couple lives in Portland, Ore.