If you have a Facebook page, they might plaster it with songs, compliments, poems, and inside jokes. You can read more on idealization here. They often seem cute and innocent at first forget your television idea of the arrogant narcissist with a flashy car. They surround themselves with former lovers, potential mates, and anyone else who provides them with added attention.
This includes people that the psychopath may have previously denounced and declared you superior to. This makes you feel confused and creates the perception that the psychopath is in high demand at all times. They blatantly deny their own manipulative behavior and ignore evidence when confronted with it. They become dismissive and critical if you attempt to disprove their fabrications with facts. They call you jealous after blatantly flirting with an ex — often done over social networking for the entire world to see.
They call you needy after intentionally ignoring you for days on end. You probably once considered yourself to be an exceptionally easygoing person, but an encounter with a psychopath will temporarily turn that notion upside down. They make up lies faster than you can question them. They constantly blame others — it is never their fault.
They spend more time rationalizing their behavior than improving it. Even when caught in a lie, they express no remorse or embarrassment. Oftentimes, it almost seems as if they wanted you to catch them. They provoke jealousy and rivalries while maintaining their cover of innocence. They once directed all of their attention to you, which makes it especially confusing when they begin to withdraw and focus on other people.
They do things that constantly make you doubt your place in their heart.
After once showering you with nonstop attention and admiration, they suddenly seem completely bored by you. You begin to feel like a chore to them. They drain the energy from you and consume your entire life. Their demand for adoration is insatiable. You thought you were the only one who could make them happy, but now you feel that anyone with a beating pulse could fit the role. Just someone you're talking to?
Every person-to-person experience is definitely different, but here are some ways to narrow down the different between dating, seeing eachother, or just hooking-up. If you're clocking a weekly spot with your bae, this is a great sign that they value your time together. Casual snaps and texts throughout the week definitely bank you a couple points, too, as you're becoming apart of their day-to-day life. A consistent 2AM "U up? That's what sloppy, end-of-night snap-texts are for. Though we're all prone to empty promises sometimes, it's rare that you'd say "let's hang out" to someone who's personality is drier than the Sahara.
They like you, and they wanna keep doing cool shit with you. If you're seeing your S. O on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday - oh baby. This is prime going out time that they could easily reserve for friends or other dates for crying out loud. But they're not out with them - they're out with you! This also applies to days off for all our homies out there who aren't working s. If you are out and about trying new things and making fun memories - outside the sheets - there's a good chance they want to do more than hook-up with you.
You message eachother about your days, what's going on, and how life is going. If you can't go a day without messaging eachother or feel weird not hearing from them for a couple hours, it's probably a thing. Because you're in a good place and that's a great feeling. These are characteristics that they accept simply as the way they are and not a problem or psychological difficulty.
If your partner possesses even one of these features, there is risk in the relationship. Male losers often begin with behaviors that move you physically or hit the wall.
Sooooo like, what are we??
Female losers often slap, kick and even punch their male partners when upset. Normal, healthy individuals require a long process to develop a relationship because there is so much at stake. Healthy individuals will wait for a lot of information before offering a commitment — not three weeks. You will also hear of violence in their life. You will see and witness this temper — throwing things, yelling, cursing, driving fast, hitting the walls, and kicking things.
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At first, you will be assured that they will never direct the hostility and violence at you — but they are clearly letting you know that they have that ability and capability — and that it might come your way. Later, you fear challenging or confronting them — fearing that same temper and violence will be turned in your direction. This gradual chipping away at your confidence and self-esteem allows them to later treat you badly — as though you deserved it.
Cutting Off Your Support In order to control someone completely, you must cut off their supportive friends — sometimes even their family. You will withdraw from friends and family, prompting them to become upset with you. Once you are isolated and alone, without support, their control over you can increase. The cycle starts when they are intentionally hurtful and mean. You may be verbally abused, cursed, and threatened over something minor. Suddenly, the next day they become sweet, doing all those little things they did when you started dating.
Are You Dating a "Loser"? - Women's and Gender Studies, The Pauline Jewett Institute
You hang on, hoping each mean-then-sweet cycle is the last one. They give you the impression that you had it anger, yelling, assault coming and deserved the anger, violence, pouting, or physical display of aggression. They shower you with phone calls, often every five minutes, hoping that you will make an agreement or see them just to stop the telephone harassment. Some call your relatives, your friends, their friends, and anyone else they can think of — telling those people to call you and tell you how much they love you.
Creative losers often create so much social pressure that the victim agrees to go back to the bad relationship rather than continue under the social pressure. Their reaction is emotionally intense, a behavior they use to keep you an emotional prisoner.
If you go back to them, you actually fear a worse reaction if you threaten to leave again making you a prisoner and they later frequently recall the incident to you as further evidence of what a bad person you are. Remember, if your prize dog jumps the fence and escapes, if you get him back you build a higher fence.
If you have an individual activity, they demand that they accompany you, making you feel miserable during the entire activity. The idea behind this is to prevent you from having fun or interests other than those which they totally control. If you speak to a member of the opposite sex, you receive twenty questions about how you know them. They will notice the type of mud on your car, question why you shop certain places, and question why you called a friend, why the friend called you, and so forth.
They may begin to tell you what to wear, what to listen to in music, and how to behave in public. Eventually, they tell you that you can not talk to certain friends or acquaintances, go certain places, or talk about certain issues in public. When in public, you quickly learn that any opinion you express may cause them to verbally attack you, either at the time or later.
This is another method of destroying your self-esteem and confidence. After months of this technique, they begin telling you how lucky you are to have them — somebody who tolerates someone so inadequate and worthless as you. Keep in mind, this same sense of entitlement will be used against you. If you disobey their desires or demands, or violate one of their rules, they feel they are entitled to punish you in any manner they see fit.
They will notice a change in your personality or your withdrawal. The mention of your family members or friends will spark an angry response from them — eventually placing you in the situation where you stop talking about those you care about, even your own family members.