Was there an alternate reality where he chose you? All I can do is address the facts that I do have: You should take some time away as you process all your complex feelings. What is at the root of that? Is it completely altruistic?
Here's How People Are Dealing With Their Best Friend Dating Their Crush
Is it some kind of saviour syndrome? What is it that you love about this guy? What beliefs about yourself and about him are you clinging on to that you should probably let go of? You probably already know this, but time really is the healer. So, what I do recommend, is for you to take this heartbreak as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and the relationships in your life. Reflect, contemplate, and find your truths. If you have strong feelings you fear you may not be able to push aside, you may want to tell them the truth.
If you are uncertain about your feelings, take a step back and give yourself some time. Infatuation and love are different emotions that feel very similar. Infatuation often occurs when you are caught up in the excitement of meeting a person you like, but the feelings often lack longevity.
Decide whether to tell them. You may feel the right thing to do is to tell them both the truth about your feelings, or you may think it best that you keep them to yourself. If you decide to tell them how you feel, consider talking to your friend about it first. Depending on the situation, your friend may understand and step aside. Prepare yourself for things to go poorly if you choose to be honest. While everything may work out, you also run the risk of losing a friend and still not being able to date your crush.
Remember to be sensitive to their feelings as well as your own in your decision.
Falling In Love With Your Best Friend
Remember that you have value. Find an outlet for your feelings. Find an outlet that you can use to safely express your feelings without any social fallout or embarrassment. Get your feelings out in words to help you better understand and cope with them. If you feel like you need to cry, you should. Letting it out can make you feel much better and release tension that has built up throughout your interactions with your friend and crush.
Dancing, exercising, drawing or any number of other things can serve as a creative way to express your emotions. Keep trying until you find one that fits you. They can also lead to addiction and serious health issues.
Eating fattening foods and not getting any exercise can make you feel worse instead of better. Look to other friends for support. Having a shoulder to cry on or a friendly ear to vent to can make a huge difference in how you feel when going through a difficult romantic situation. Make the conscious decision to start working on being happy again and take your happiness seriously. When you feel yourself starting to get down, force yourself to think about something different. Take control of your life.
One of the hardest parts about rejection or not being with the person we care about is the feeling of helplessness it can create. Take control back from that feeling of helplessness by taking charge of your life and your actions. Make healthy choices to double up on the positivity gained through taking charge of your life. Choose to eat better, go for a run or something else that benefits you. Open yourself up to new romantic opportunities. Once you are feeling more like yourself again, it may be time to get back on the dating scene.
The Gut-wrenching Challenges to Secretly Loving your Best Friend
Try to meet some new people and even go on some dates. While you may not find the right person right away, you may find that you enjoy the process and the opportunities it presents. Making some new friends could do just fine. Be kind to your friend and old crush. Remember that friendships are valuable. Treat each of them with kindness and there may come a day when things can go back to how they once were for each of you.
Remember that holding on to negative feelings hurts you more than anyone else. What if my friend is constantly talking about my crush and shares details about their relationship that I don't want to hear? If you are uncomfortable with what your friend is sharing about their relationship with your crush, politely ask them not to share so much. If you are uncomfortable explaining exactly why, you might just suggest that you don't enjoy discussing relationships.
Not Helpful 16 Helpful This girl and me have known each other for nearly seven years and we have been close friends for about three. Eventually, we did start liking each other and we went out for a month and a few weeks. I found myself being freer and I got to thinking: Find another good friend you can trust, someone with whom you can verbalize your deep emotions about your best friend with whom you are in love. This other friend will help you continue to show the self-control of letting a good friendship grow into an even deeper friendship.
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Hold your emotions, get them out in a healthy way with another friend. Why chance ruining a good thing, at least for now? If you see these signs, you might want to begin to talk about them with the good friend you so deeply love. After all, good friends should be able to talk about nearly anything. I think Jane has a great perspective: A really honest friendship will often develop into love without any conscious effort.
And if he cares for you and stands up for you, he already loves you in a way already. First and foremost, good friends should know how much each person values the other.
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We make the mistake of demanding that many of our relationships be all or nothing romantically. Whether the good person you are in love with ends up marrying you or not, you have had the joy of experiencing real love. Real love is rich, pure and self-sacrificing. To experience that kind of love with anybody is a priceless gift. In the meantime, enjoy the moment, they seldom come. Still wondering if it is real love?