There aren't going to be a shit ton of guys in their early 30's making more than k a year. Keep that in mind. There's really not a whole lot you can do other than the usual shit when it comes to dating. Eh, we exist, but we also tend to have already met someone and are married before we started making that much. That's why it's a great idea to date in grad school when you are both poor students living off a stipend.
But there's no guarantee that he likes her for anything more than her youth and beauty. But you know what, guys can feel emotions and feelings too - and more often then not, they can tell when a girl is in it just for the money. IDK why people keep downvoting you. You have honest questions that I have tried to answer in other post.
But you just don't seem to get it from a man's point of view. I hope you read my other responses.
Do Men Like Dating a Female Doctor? Help!
Do you know what the first thing that came to my mind was when I read this paragraph? Not to generalize, but you're trying to attract a man with things that women are attracted to; rarely will a man become more attracted to a woman because of how well off that she is. It's a good thing to have, and it isn't a direct negative, but it's not going to earn you any brownie points either. A lot of the men in the class you want don't want women in the class you are age, mostly, perhaps also appearance.
Most Helpful Girl
Why should they settle, when having a doctor's degree or high income allows them to choose? This means the odds of you finding one are relatively low. Plus, if you prejudge them by high standards - he's just not tall enough, or a bit balding - then you put him off the list, and nobody's there to take the slack. Consider spreading the net. And when the hate comes and the "do not settle! Oh man that line really irritates the shit out of me, "is it because men are intimidated by me?
Yeah, that's kind of an ego-crutch. O god did this hurt to read. The author raises some good points, then just goes off the deep end. Why do I say this? Because I have 2, count em, 2 anecdotes. That girl who had a baby at the age of 19 and wasnt in a trailer park, that drives home my point pretty well. Really wish he would have said something intelligent, like don't limit yourself to a relationship when you are 35 and successful. It's an infinitely better solution than "better have kids and by extension, the person you want to spend the rest of your life with by 25, else you are fucked".
Not to sound like an ass but are you sure its men not wanting to date female doctors and not you? I don't think most men really care about female doctors one way or the other. To be fair, so much time is saved when the questioner assumes as much as possible regardless of whether her assumptions are true! It has nothing to do with intimidation and everything to do with a ridiculous sense of entitlement for how little she truly brings to the table.
What's the point in two people bringing home the bacon if you need to hire Consuela to cook it for you? That last one is a big red flag. All of the teachers I know work really hard. That deserves respect, not snobbery. Fact is, the way we were raised is very tough to deal with modern western values. Oh sure, making tons of money and working hard are seemingly very compatible western traits although I've lately questioned the latter -- but those traits are almost only for men and don't apply as well in this post-feminist western world. Men, especially westernized men, aren't putting a woman's accomplishments high on their list of attractive qualities.
Sure, there's the attractive female who is super successful like Beyonce which everyone is attracted to, but if she weren't famous and made a lot of money, there would still be a ton of men after her based on her looks and personality. On the other hand, if Jay-Z didn't have the wealth and power that comes from being a rapper and producer, and instead he were just another poor street thug And you know what? Now that women are making a bunch of money too, the man is even less concerned about what the woman is making - attractiveness and personality matter even more, especially now that every woman can go provide for herself and it's no longer a unique quality oh the irony.
In other words, there's nothing wrong with you making a ton of money as a doctor, and it's awesome that you are following a career you actually enjoy. But understand that it will rarely be a deal-maker for attractiveness today. Now, you are far from without hope. I'll go ahead and stereotype that you being Asian American means you look a lot younger than women of other ethnicities around your age.
Also, there are definitely men who are attracted to women who make money, but it will require you to do a few things: By changing your standards, I mean stop setting hard criteria for what you want. You want a man around your age making around the same or more of you? By changing your demographics, I mean change where you live and where you are meeting people. I'm not sure where you live, but you need to maximize your odds of meeting men who will be interested in you - for instance, my family friend followed a similar path - Asian American woman, went to medical school, etc.
Always a top graduate at school, never dated much, but in her late 20's when she finished her residency, she moved to Palo Alto and met a early 30s Asian male who was successfully working in the world of startups. They got engaged a couple years later and are getting married next year. I forgot where they met, but it was definitely at some sort of mixer for young professionals in the area. And as you can imagine, there were a lot of people with similar backgrounds and values raised Asian American, working in medicine or technology as is common in Silicon Valley which meant her odds increased dramatically by being there, instead of say, North Carolina, where she went to med school.
Doesn't China have a problem with "leftover women" or whatever they call those 30something professionals? I'm not familiar, but china does have a large gender imbalance which favors women heavily so I don't think it's as pronounced. They also have men who won't look twice at a woman over 25 and women with severe princess issues. Shit is fucked up. Your first paragraph listed off a bunch of things that women generally find attractive in men, not the other way around. Those are good things about you yes, but they will not add to your attractiveness for the vast majority of men.
My experiences with people in medicine is that it is a more than full time gig, and I wouldnt be compatible with someone so focused on her career. That and all the doctors I know are just the tiniest bit stuck up about the fact that they're doctors. I think it's pretty judgemental of you to automatically assume gold digger because she makes less than him.
I've worked in and out of schools for years and literally every primary school teacher I've ever met has been a wonderful, down to earth, good person and hot as hell, seriously I don't know what it is about that profession - perfect relationship material. No I would say your problem is that you're the stereotypical careeer woman - A woman so obsessed with her career that her perspective of life and love in general is hugely skewed in the wrong direction.
Add on that a touch of arrogance, barbecue cook for 20 minutes per kilo and bam, a nice moist Christmas turkey. Sorry for coming off that way. Seriously though I appreciate your criticism, I don't want to just whine and bitch about my problems but make myself more attractive to men. Clearly I'm in the minority here based off of the other dudes' comments, but I don't think your income is a negative. What does seem to be a negative is your fixture on how successful your partner is. See, what you have done is successfully flipped the normal gender script, but you're still trying to fill the normal one.
You have crossed the line into "provider" territory, but you're still looking at shit like partner income and economic status as if you were the "providee" trying to find a good supporter. If you want to find a partner, you have to think like these guys, not try to woo them. Don't give a single shit about how much your guy makes. Try to find a guy you think is hot. Find a guy that makes you laugh.
Want to add to the discussion?
Find a guy that seems like he'd be a good father and supporting husband. Find a guy who could be a calm fixed point when you come home from whatever hours you work. Honestly, your attitude is so evocative of the stereotypical female dating attitude that I'm wondering if this is really some RedPill trollery. If you're for real, then cut that shit out. You're a person, look for another person who meets your emotional needs. You make enough money you have zero excuses for having "success markers" in your radar at all. But she requires her partners to be of the same economic class as her, I clearly don't fit that criteria Mr.
Respond one year later. With the of posts that seem to fulfill RP's talking points in the last few weeks, makes me wonder just how true it is. It seems stereotypical because these themes occur often enough for them to become stereotypes in the first place. I think that the OP of the indian woman post a while back might be the same one behind this post.
Their commenting and posting styles are similar. Follow the white rabbit, Neo. Okay first of all I am not looking for a provider. I want a guy that at the very least has a college education. I would like me and him to have something in common. Due to your high income bracket wanting someone in the same economic bracket or even near it is looking for a provider.
There are many college educated people who are not near your income bracket that you could have things in common with. Im very well educated, my girl isn't. That doesnt mean we don't have something in common. She's still smart and caring and beautiful. Not her fucking grades! Some of the most brilliant people in history were poor their entire lives; conversely, some of the richest were intellectually and creatively bankrupt.
Surely you have hobbies or interests outside your job that you can bond with a non-doctor with. If you don't, fix that. Again and again you're looking for these social markers of value in a guy instead of what the guy is actually like. Cut that shit out. Whatever you do, don't allow yourself to give him shit for not making as much as you. You want a man, you should be attractive to him in his terms , and he should be attractive to you as well.
You could get lucky. But damn, as I see it you've got no idea what kind of guy you like, are attracted to, and compatible with. You've got to make all your dating mistakes in your mid's - that sucks! Shooting down good guys because you're hypercritical, then relaxing a bit and dating absolutely the wrong guy for far too long. That sort of stuff is to be expected. You can't just read a book and figure it all out, it takes years of pain. Ah, what the hell am I saying, just slap em in the face with dollar bills and you won't have any troubles: I suggest you invest in a fund that tries to build a time-machine.
That way, you could go back years and try to find a longterm partner while you still have a good chance to find one. I suggest visiting the engineering department of your faculty, high male to female ratio. And a gold digger. She attempts to hide behind the veil that just because she makes a lot, she's actually interested in the man. She's interested in their wallet as much as who they are, her post reeks of gold digger.
Seriously, do people actually pridefully refer to themselves as yuppies? What are your interests? Being a foodie and hiking? For starters you're looking at a very very small pool of men. For me, highly career-focused women have little appeal. Enjoying the simple things and taking it easy are off the table, they have higher stress levels and don't compromise my way or the highway.
We are out there. We just don't know where to look for female doctors. Men that she's looking for also have hypergamy in their favor, meaning they can get women younger and more fertile than the OP. What she brings to the table they'll already have in spades.
What's she bringing to the table to complement the men she seeks to have a relationship with?
Top 8 reasons you should marry a female physician | Hot Heels, Cool Kicks, & a Scalpel
Most men don't date or marry according to social or economic status - they date according to who they are attracted to and who makes them feel good about themselves. I didn't marry my wife because of how much or how little she made - it wasn't a factor in any way - I married her because she makes me feel like the person that I want to be.
As for what you're doing wrong Your post doesn't really give enough information to offer any sound advice. What's funny is that before I read this part of your post I was going to say that the guys you want married the hot school teachers. Your problem is that you're trying to date like a man and that won't work for obvious reasons. Most men don't care about a woman's salary. They care that she is attractive, charming, complementary, and a host of other characteristics that have nothing to do with economic status.
You, however, have focused only on your status as a doctor. No where in your post did you talk about what you have to offer anyone else beyond that, and, frankly, no man gives a shit that you are a doctor. What does that do for him? You need to understand that your male equivalent can land girls that are younger, cuter, and more fertile than you, and they probably are aren't anywhere near as stuck up as you've come across in your post.
You probably have a better shot with a something doctor to whom you are a younger woman. You won't get them. You can probably get with the wealthier guys that aren't as genetically blessed. Get out of your extremely limited social circle and meet other people. You may find that there are equally educated and hard-working people in less lucrative fields that you can still enjoy a "certain lifestyle" with. Most importantly, figure out what you bring to the table beyond an income. What do you actually do?
How are you fun? What makes you educated beyond your medical degree? And work with patients who are sick and potentially dying. My brother is a doctor and I could never deal with the mind set he has when he comes home every day. I tried dating outside my financial league a few times, I was working in warehousing and moonlighting as a bar bouncer on weekends. These career driven women: I'm fit, I've got good stories, I like to think I'm generally a good guy with wisdom. But I was never career driven.
I made enough to sock away for small future investments and a modest comfortable life. I didn't want anything more. Ultimately my vision of happiness was not their vision of happiness and things just didn't work. Where is the man who's supposed to make that happen. Number 1 - It's ageism.
I'm just as guilty of this as the next guy - it's just more appropriate for a man in his 30s to date a woman in her 20s. Early 30s women have a much smaller pool of men who are willing to date them, whereas early 20s women have a much larger pool. Number 2 - My friends have dated women who are doctors and nurses, and to be honest, the hours you guys keep are brutal.
Whether you are a male or female, it's hard to date someone who is doing multiple shifts and coming home dog tired. My best friend dated a doctor doing her rotation, and all she wanted to do was slip into pajamas, order a cheese pizza, and watch movies. That gets old after awhile. Number 3 - You're probably only meeting men who are also in the medical field. That's a tough pool to fish from. So it's going to take extra work to reach outside of your medical circle.
And online dating is a total crapshoot - you're going to get all types of guys out here, and it's hard to dig through what can sometimes feel like the bargain bin of dudes. You just have to work a little harder to find them due to your age and to your field of work.
Epilogue - I remember reading somewhere on this subreddit a comment about how dating for a woman in her 30s is like dating for a man in his 20s. It's tough out there, and you gotta work at it a lot harder than a younger woman might have to. Have faith and put yourself out there as much as you can. Here we have the problem.
I'll tell you what matters to men, attraction-wise: You have money and status, which is nice, but no man is going to be attracted to that. You are 33 and want a man that makes quite a bit, which means you are now competing with younger women that can have just as much of a good personality as you.
And you are a busy. A busy professional life means we wouldn't get to see you too much, which heavily complicates growing a relationship. They know that being a doctor means you wouldn't have much time for them. You're thinking like a woman about this. Men want an attractive which often means youthful partner with a personality that matches theirs, not one with a matching wallet.
You are competing against younger, more attractive women and the only positive point you seem to credit yourself with is one that the large majority of men don't give a shit about. If you want a man with a similar income, a man that is highly desired by most women, you gotta come up with something that you have that they don't and that men want. Traditionally female tasks are a good beginning. No such thing as a man that isn't attracted to a woman that cooks well, for example. Sorry if I sound harsh, btw. You just heavily misunderstood what men are attracted to and I can get a bit ranty there.
Didn't mean it as an attack. My brother in law is one of my best friends, he makes my sister happy, he's a wonderful father, and he's everyone's favorite neighbor. He leads by example, and they've raised the kind of kids who will do things like shovel the snow off their elderly neighbor's stairs without being told to do it. When she was single, we spoke many times about what she wanted, and the top of her list was always "someone who would love and respect her".
Well, that's what she found. Throw away your job req, and think about your feelings for someone to grow old with. So basically, here's what the deal would be for a man. We're not stupid; we know that "settle down" means "get married and have children". There's three possible scenarios from this:. A You stop working and look after the kid. This means that he becomes a wage-slave to a woman who is used to a K salary and all the trappings thereof, as well as responsible for the sizable debt incurred along the way to that salary. B He stays home with the kid, and you stay working.
Y'know all that hard work you put in to becoming an MD? He worked just as hard, and you'd be asking him to walk away from that. Furthermore, this is a precarious position for a man, as male unemployment is a larger predictor of divorce than even marital unhappiness. Also, the likelihood of a deadbeat chronically unemployed man receiving custody of his children in the event of a divorce is marginal indeed. C Hire some sort of nanny or daycare service, and both of you remain working. This would result in an exhausted wife returning home from the long clinic hours, guilty over the fact that she is not raising her own children, and intent upon compensating for that by prioritizing them over her husband.
He works all day long for a wife that doesn't pay attention to him, and children he never sees. I am more than open to dating a guy that makes less than me as long as he and I were around the same economic class if that makes sense. So you expect an affluent man in his 30's, whose spending power and class can attract a large selection of women, would choose one of the above scenarios. You can see the dilemma. Part of it is your age. I'm in my mid 20s and tend to go for slightly younger or the same age.
I've dated a few women around your age and did not enjoy the experience. Also, at least from my experience, what you make matters very little from a dating perspective. I have a regular schedule with 40 hour workweeks. I wouldn't want to commit to a relationship where I see my partner once every blue moon. Maybe you're not interesting? Too consumed with work? Off putting or demanding? I don't know, but I'd say your work hours are more of an issue than your income, as well as your age.
The issue is not so much that you are making a lot of money. It is that doctors do not have time to commit to forming a dating relationship. And what money issues there are seem to be on your end wanting a person who is making twice what most people make. That is a sought after group and one that your time limitations simply put you at a disadvantage with. This is going to sound harsh. Its not that men aren't into dating doctors, its that these men you've been looking at haven't been interested in you, specifically. There's probably personal reasons why, maybe they didn't feel the chemistry, maybe they wanted someone hotter.
But that's neither here nor there.
- Why the Primary Care Physician Shortage Is so Costly to Our Healthcare System.
- The Difficulties of Dating While Being a Female Doctor!
- dating and chatting apps?
- indonesian muslim dating site.
- The Difficulties of Dating While Being a Female Doctor.
- casual hook up edmonton.
The greater issues are that you're a young doctor who has very deliberately and purposefully set aside relationships with the express purpose of furthering your career. There is nothing wrong with this, and kudos to you for making it where you want to be. But you have an enormous time investment being a doctor and have demonstrated that that IS your priority. That's something men will consider, particularly if they have a tough time getting to spend time with you.
Second, and far more detrimental is that you're looking at men and adding up a bunch of quantitative factors to determine whether they meet your standards. Consciously or not men will pick up on this. You want a man that makes such and such money or is financially in the same bracket as you. You're a friggin doctor. Most men that are going to be financially in the same bracket as you aren't going to have the TIME to date you, because your schedules won't coincide. The most you'd be able to manage is casual.
That's why a lot of the teachers get dates. They're great people, and they have the time that you don't. But here's the rub, you refuse to date someone who doesn't have a degree. Alright, that's your choice, but a degree is an arbitrary measure of intelligence. Talk to people and work on recognizing whether someone has actual intelligence when you speak to them, stop basing it on their degree. If you want to use it as a gauge for how driven this guy is then find out what his goals are, how he's working to achieve them, what he has achieved already.
THAT is more important than a degree. Its not them, its you and them together 2. You're judging men quantitatively, learn to get to know men qualitatively. I don't know about your practice, but the majority of doctors that I know have a shitty ass schedule, leading to a work-heavy lifestyle. This leads to someone who is difficult to date. Let's also look at the fact that you're actively looking to start a relationship at 33 after light dating and no serious relationships.
The good news about medical conferences is that many of them are male dominated excellent ratio for you women! Some of the meetings are so incredibly dull that men will daydream about women and sex. On a couple of occasions some of the male attendees will ask me about one of the single female doctors at the meeting: What is her deal? I leave the two of them alone to connect, and I watch her body language. She stands there like she would rather be somewhere else. Another great opportunity missed. The female doctor continues to ask if I know anyone at all with whom I could set her up.
Men need a clue that you would be open to going out with them. Be expressive, smile a lot, and give out a sweet vibe.
The dates will come. Pay attention to your body language. This applies to all women; however, particularly to female doctors. You will get old. The boobs will sag. The deep wrinkles and jowls will come—sooner than you think. If you were always the one trying to catch the guy—when the going gets tough at work, with the kids, or your physical appearance starts to show the signs of age—he may bolt. The happiest female doctors I know were pursued by their spouses, not the other way around.
The fact that a man really worked hard to earn your love will permeate your relationship. He will continue to work hard to keep you happy. When you pretend to be someone else, you will become exhausted trying to keep the interest of your man. Judge the Men You Date by their Mommy: Sorry if this is a bit controversial, but this is a very common factor that was missed when divorced couples analyze their failed relationships. Of course it is true that not all men are in love with their Mommies, and that many men want to marry the polar opposite of their moms.
However, many men expect you to be just like their Mommy at home whether you like it or not. Was she a homemaker or a leader? Was she ambitious, did she sacrifice everything in her life for her husband, was she abused by her husband? The famous pop singer, Chris Brown, was abused as a kid. Women tend to want to date men more successful than themselves and we guys know this. That is where the intimidation factor comes into play. A guy doesn't want to waste his time dating a woman who's just going to want to 'upgrade' to a more successful man. If you like a guy who's not financially as well off as you are, you need to tell him that it doesn't matter to you, and mean it.
Not if she's a proctologist! Some may feel intimidated by a female doctor, while others as myself think it's kinda cool as long as her hours aren't crazy and we can actually see each other. It'll make him feel insecure with his ability to bring home the bacon. Would you date a female doctor who didn't want kids? Guys, why wont you date a female doctor? Would guys date a female doctor? Would guys my age date a middle aged female doctor?
Answer Questions What is this guys intentions?