My girlfriend is on a dating website

She has been there for three weeks, and last week when I visited her she told me she'd signed up to a dating site to find new friends. I found out she'd joined the day she moved in and was saying she was single, happy to go on dates to a restaurant, a walk, etc, and she gave a description of her ideal man as being someone who was younger than me, owned a pair of wellies and had a pet I have neither. I was very angry and upset, and although she said sorry and that she loves me, she keeps doing this kind of thing usually it involves getting attention from other men , and it hurts me and damages us greatly.

I'm at the end of my tether. I simply do not know what to do except tell her I can't afford to be hurt any more.


What if she simply said: Would you also consider that to be her trying to hurt you, or saying goodbye? Brace yourself, because I'm going to have to be brutal here. The trouble with being blessed with a human brain is that we have a tendency to overuse it. We turn plain English into a foreign tongue laced with nuance at the tug of a heartstring. I'm afraid you're guilty of this misdemeanour, as you're displaying the symptoms, including excessive interpretative tendencies, for all to see.

I'd go so far as to accuse you of being both extremely selective and obtuse about what you want to hear. Nobody wants to be cast as the victim at the end of an affair, but so many of us audition brilliantly for the part. We love to make love a complicated business, and when it comes to emotions it is a challenge to marry them to rational thought. Our tendency seems to be to maintain a blinkered position until we are forced to look at the wider picture.

If you dined as regularly as. I do on so many similar states of lovers' despond, you too would develop a healthy cynicism for what's often erroneously described as the "reality" of the situation. I can already see my kids adopting this tenuous link to truth when they insist: You are an adult, and in "real life" your girlfriend has done everything short of telling you bluntly that she no longer wants to be in this relationship.

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It's unfortunate that she can't muster the courage to make a decision and illuminate you on it, but perhaps she knows what I'm starting to suspect: She's trying to keep all her balls in the air until she has a replacement in mind, and that is cruelly prolonging your pain. Perhaps she's not sure what she wants to do until she checks what's available. Either way, she is treating you shabbily. Her protestations of love don't amount to much when she is advertising her wares to the world at large. You don't need me to explain this, but perhaps you need me to reiterate the message.

Your relationship is on the rocks, and pretending it's just a teensy bit of emotional mud-slinging does you both an injustice. She found me there and asked me later what you were doing? Since she was using that app at the same time. I told her I was about to delete my account, which was not entirely true as I was killing some time chatting with girls but I had no intention to take their numbers or to take it further.

By the way, I told her that there was a girl who chatted with me on the same app and asked her if she was that girl but she did not reply! I realized later that I made a mistake by asking this. After that we didn't text each other for a while, about 10 days until today I texted her and she replied saying: I blamed her for not texting me earlier as well and then we talked, she told me frankly that she was upset when she found me on that site and she thought that I am searching for another woman, actually she through I already have one!

And that is why she disappeared? I replied back saying: I told her she is mistaken for thinking that way! And that she was in the same app as well and I did not question her why she was there because I trusted her. I told her you did the same as I did by disappearing suddenly as well so why I am getting all the blame? She finally told me that she felt disappointed and shocked that I was there, again, looking for another woman.

Moreover, she said if I didn't text her, she would have never texted me back again. I was shocked really, why is she pointing fingers at me only. She also said, I felt I wasn't important in your life and hence I didn't text you when I found out that you are not texting me as well. Anyway, I told her despite everything I do miss you and we agreed to talk later. The thing is I love her and for all the previous fights we had, literally all of them, she was the one to approach me and apologize even if I was the one who started the fight, she was really into me.

Dear Mariella

I have never seen a woman like her before. My question is what should I do now? We agreed to talk later anyway, but I have mixed feelings between anger and sympathy with what she feels. She is divorced and had a very bad experience from her ex! Not sure if this helps but anyway. Delete Report Edit Lock Reported. Respond Your response must be between 3 and characters. Ask your wife what she thinks Delete Report Edit Reported Reply. Kingslayer Send a private message.

You don't really have any business dating and getting married to anyone. You have no idea what love is. Love is more than liking one woman better than another.

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You loved your wife but have a gf. You almost divorced a few times but not quite yet. Now your gf is jealous because she thinks you're a cheater? How rich is that? I tell my son, speak the truth. Say it once and if they don't believe you spend no time trying to convince anyone that you aren't a liar. In time people will know you tell the truth and no one will question that.

girlfriend signs up for dating site, wtf?

BUT the trick is She's had a bad experience HikerVeg Send a private message. Your girlfriend doesn't trust you for obvious reasons and that is why she was on the app. Your not texting each other and worrying about pointing fingers just shows how screwed up your relationship is. It is screwed up because you planted the relationship in manure. Americanguy1 Send a private message. Ok so you got caught on a dating site by your current girlfreind that was also on a dating site even though your both in love with each other.

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Ella Send a private message.