May we date well, intentionally, and for the glory of God.
With Spring just around the corner I thought it would be a great time to give you aspiring lovers out there some tips on dating. Who wants to get dating advice from a pastor? But my hope in this is only to help you, after all God created relationships, and so you would be a fool to not at least consider his a perspective on dating that is grounded in scripture. And beyond Biblical perspective, this advice also comes from experience, if I have to be honest when I was single and dating I broke every one of these rules in one way or another and it always cost me.
- Frequently bought together.
- 10 Principles For Christian Dating That Will Transform Lives – Frank Powell.
- Charisma Magazine.
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If you watch any TV show aimed at an audience of year olds you will hear at some point on any given episode the phrase: Dating is a serious game and one that you should enter into with prayer and with humility. Dating with a trajectory towards marriage means dating with a purpose. It means dating someone who meets the values and goals you have for a future spouse more on that later.
We are intentional beings. We are designed to know why we do stuff and where we are going. Dating is no different. You might get into a relationship with someone who loves Jesus, meets the values you have in a future spouse, and is compatible with you. Maybe they like to cuddle with cats or something.
Having coffee or going to eat dinner with the opposite sex is not dating.
Dating is more intimate. It involves sharing personal struggles and vulnerability.
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So, if you choose not to get coffee or watch a movie with the opposite sex, then whatever. He is the pie. There will be days when life is crashing down, your faith is wavering, and the only thing left is your spouse.
Will You Go Out With Me? Rules for Biblical Dating – CBMW
This is the beauty of a sanctifying marriage. Without a Christian spouse, one of two things will happen: Without a Christian spouse you will either drift away from God or make your spouse a functional god. Look…Christians are called to be missionaries. The dating world, however, is not the place to be a missionary.
Marry someone who loves Jesus.
Will You Go Out With Me? Rules for Biblical Dating
And spread the gospel as missionaries together. If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off ramp. Pull over at the closest gas station and decide what you want in a future spouse. Your list is designed to give you a framework for dating, not be a checklist for it. Yes…this is a primary value.
If you love the Cowboys and your future spouse loves the Packers, is it important to work through this before marriage? No…this is a secondary value. Either way, the dating season should not last too long. Since dating to find a spouse seems like the most obvious biblical approach to me, I also believe it is unbiblical to date a nonbeliever. Dating someone who is not fit for marriage is not wise. Why go into a store where you know you should not buy anything?
Likewise, dating someone you know God does not want you to marry is a very bad idea.
Additionally, the Bible says that Christians should not be friends with the world nor should they be unequally yoked with unbelievers James 4: Dating Someone Less Spiritually Mature. Generally there are two camps of thoughts when it comes to approaching Christian dating. I believe both approaches are fine, it just depends on what season of life you are in and what God is actually leading you to do.
The biggest problem I see is that people often think they are following the Holy Spirit but in actuality they are just following their personal preference and personality traits.
Some Christian guys and girls are still single because they think God wants them to just wait and do nothing when in actuality he wants them to be much more proactive. Likewise, some Christians are still single because God is telling them to slow down, stop dating so much, and to trust him more. For more on this topic of how to find a godly spouse and how to approach Christian dating, these resources will be helpful:.
The Top Five Myths of Christian Dating
How to Pursue a Christian Girl? Should a Christian Girl Pursue a Guy? How to Get a Date as a Christian Introvert. Christian Dating Advice for Men.