Is it OK to have a racial preference in dating? Email us or comment below with your thoughts. Trish, a year-old marketing consultant, has never dated non-white men. Or is it racist to have a racial preference in dating? In , 39 percent of Americans polled said interracial marriage is good for society, 9 percent said it was bad and 52 percent said it made no difference at all.
And yet, five years later, in , just one-fifth of all couples in the U.
When two people connect at work, through friends or via the Internet, the explanation for why sparks fly is sometimes, frankly, unexplainable. Love is blind, according to conventional wisdom and Shakespeare. Source Photo courtesy of Max Moore. Max Moore, 39, grew up in the South with a white mom and a Black dad.
Or is it just because I like what I like? But what about the opposite approach? Source Photo courtesy of David Monaghan. David Monaghan readily admits to having a dating bias: Not acceptance, but as examples of surviving in enemy territory. Consciously or not, Monaghan dated Black women because he felt shunned by his own white culture and therefore drawn to other cultures he believed possessed a wisdom gained from years of struggle and abuse.
So should we call foul on people who never choose mates who look like them? While dating app users may appear to not be into interracial dating, it's a different story when someone appears ethnically ambiguous. A recent UMass study , for instance, found that online daters often prefer mixed-race over mono-racial individuals, with Asian and white men reporting that they preferred women of mixed Asian and white descent.
Many users speak of their ambiguous ethnicity being used as a pick up line, either through direct questioning or comments like, "You look so exotic. It's a question many mixed race people are familiar with, a subtle code for "Why don't you look the way I think you should? While on the website, she put her racial background on her profile. While that might have assuaged users' initial curiosity, people who messaged her kept harping on the subject. Alyssa got messages like "You're Japanese?
Like Alyssa, she frequently receives messages pointing out how "exotic-looking" she is. But she also frequently interacts with white men who try to flatter her by saying they picked her profile specifically because they don't like to date white women.
Things You Only Know When You Date White Guys. And You're Not White | Grazia
These fascinations with "exotic" beauty are intended to be compliments or at least proof of interest. Instead, they usually end up making mixed race people feel they're nothing more than fodder for a genetic guessing game of "what are you? Therefore, it is ultimately a discriminatory sentiment.
In short, people who message mixed-race people might think they're complimenting them on how "exotic" they look. What they're really saying, however, is crystal-clear: IRL dating can be even worse: Yet even though they found it tiring to field endless questions about what "mix" they were, some multiracial people told Mic that they preferred online dating to dating IRL, as it gave them the ability to be upfront about their identity on their profile.
Things You Only Know When You Date White Guys. And You're Not White
Alyssa said that putting your racial background on your profile preempts the need to have an awkward conversation about it later on. That said, the people who are going to make it a "thing" will likely do so, regardless of whether they're meeting you IRL or on an online dating website.
As anyone who's ever received a dick pic knows, the distance an Internet connection provides gives people the freedom to be bolder — and in many cases, ruder — than they would be in real life. She added, "It's so hard to think of a time when someone has brought up my heritage respectfully. I don't think it's happened yet.
Single black female: Love Island and the problem with race and dating
Report 1 year ago 7. An event for men who like black women? People can hardly be offended when the issue of race comes up. You do sound like a bit of an ass but I'm surprised such a night went ahead in this PC climate. Report 1 year ago 8. Report Thread starter 1 year ago 9. Original post by YaliaV An event for men who like black women? Report Thread starter 1 year ago Original post by ANM some mixed people look black, some look mixed, there's even a small amount who can pass for white regardless, that's an extra woman at the event!
Report 1 year ago Original post by 0to Well I wasn't even tryna be rude she just overreacted. She was fine as hell but I was still confused. Most of the women were like Naomi Campbell and Naomi Harris if you get me. Lo girl walks in.. And most of my most serious girlfriends have been mixed race so I get they look light skinned or whatever but it's obv a tricky situation.
There's mixed people who look and dont look mixed who claim and dont claim black you know?
Is It OK to Have a Racial Preference in Dating?
But my thing is, this isnt a political party where all sorts of people identify with what's technical. This is a dating party. And in the dating world J. Lo looking women do fine.
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No matter their race they identify as. Dark women don't so I wasnt the only one curious why she came. And a lot of the guys were gathering around her, as was I, it kinda was a speed dating environment though not a speed dating event. But the blacker women started getting mad so I addressed the elephant in the room is all lol. Original post by ANM yeah, I can see why the black women would get mad as she's competition and doesn't look like she should be there. Personally [being male] I would have just been happy for the bonus woman and not said anything, but that's me If you were into the black women and everyone was crowding round the JLO then that actually works out quite well for you too.
Original post by DanB Here's the shocker I guess I have a lot to learn lol I'm not apologising though. People want me to because she's crying all over social media. Original post by 0to I was doing fine beforehand, and the blacker skinned women weren't completely ignored. But some of my female friends who I knew there were crowding around getting angry while I was speaking to them.
I mean what I said but yea I wish I had just left it tbh. Or maybe spoken to her Do you like black women? Original post by 0to wait so are you saying, mixed ppl get most abuse from their nonwhite side or?