Many of us have been in that scenario, and it can be incredibly fun. Not every sexual encounter has to be about happily ever after. Sometimes, it can just be about having no-strings-attached fun in the sack — you know, casual sex.
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That's what hook-up culture and sexual liberation is all about! The key, though, is being respectful. Players have to lie to get what they want.
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A playboy can get what he wants with the truth. So, if you want to have your hookup , don't hesitate. Just treat her fairly and honestly, and be upfront about what youw ant. Yes, drunk sex is one of those things that sounds fun in theory, but in practice it's often a sloppy, messy disaster. Right in the genitals. Emily Morse, sexologist and host of Sex with Emily.
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Also, how likely are you to remember to use a condom when you can barely remember your room number? Trust is an important component when it comes to taking a girl home. Too much emphasis on sex too early in the conversation can take you from 0 to creepy in no time at all. Also, comfortable is key: The more comfortable in the situation you are, the more comfortable she will be.
Remember to maintain balance and don't overdo it, says Williams. Many women fear being judged for having casual sex, so the key is make sure not to do anything to lead her to feel judged or slutty. Of course, if she resists your attempts at physically escalating, back off. A surefire way to seem like a creep is to rush her into sleeping with you, says Valentine. Touch his arms a bit and let him know you are comfortable with making physical contact.
However, the last thing you need is to get drunk and lose control of your senses. You want your hookups to be memorable and enjoy every moment of it.
Etiquette for the Random Hookup
Drink enough to loosen up but never too much. Always make sure you are in control. Hookups are the best time to explore sexual fantasies and cross them off your checklist. If you have any fantasy that you want to try out, let him know. Gradually work up to the bizarre part as both of you get more comfortable. Both of you might have the same fantasies, but may have trouble communicating it.
Sometimes you need a little back and forth before exploring certain fantasies. Do you like rough sex? Or getting tied up? If you have unique fantasies, make sure that he is someone who is in control. It is absolutely essential that you put out ground rules.
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No matter what fantasy you have, know that you have the same amount of power and control in deciding when to stop. Have safe words and build a bond with your partner before exploring such fantasies. Make sure you tell him that using a safe word means stop. Get as much as kinky as you want, but both of you need to be responsible as well.
Never ever have unprotected sex while hooking up no matter how much your partner may convince you. It is extremely careless to do so especially when you hardly know the other person. Sex is always better without a condom but the potential consequences are severe.
This issue in particular has to be discussed before you get into bed. Preferably, ask him if he has a condom before you leave to meet him. The key to having amazing sex is to communicate all your desires beforehand. Throw him on the bed if you like taking control and tell him what you want him to do. Be assertive and demand it from him. On the other hand if you like being submissive, be playful and talk dirty to him. Men being men will jump at anything that will bring pleasure to both.
In most cases, men are far more open about experimenting than women. Use it to your advantage. If you happen to really like the guy, let him know but do it carefully. Let him know you enjoyed his company and that it was fun. In most cases, he will ask you if you want to meet again.