When I was in my early 20's which was a while ago. I too noticed the same thing. Couldn't meet a single woman who didn't have a child already. I didn't have a problem with kids per se. I just didn't want that level of responsibility or as you put it a ready made family. Don't know what to tell you. I hear ya man. It's tough ain't it. I don't think people wait until their married anymore either.
I remember back in my twenties too. I was in the process of getting married thank god. But for goodness sakes, every man I knew or my friends knew was a dad. The majority of them had a kid out there somewhere, or several kids with several different women. Some of them didn't even acknowledge the fact that they had a kid out there. I think my husband was the only one without a kid out there somewhere. I am outgoing, educated, have a good career, no threat to Brad Pitt but the looks decent wagon didn't pass me by completely, and I certainly have no trouble approaching women.
Why am I having such trouble finding "keepers" who don't have kids? Tell me about it! And I don't expect another man to spend money on my kid or on me. I am not a prostitute to sell my body for money. I am willing to give my hear and soul to a man who appreciate my hard work, responsibility and caring nature. At the end of the day, I think no self respecting single mother should even consider dating soulless men like you. Anonymous, you can say anything you want to. Plenty of women, especially single mothers, have said all sorts of things Damn it, I wish I could find a woman like you.
You had me at "a loving home and peace. Anonymous, if you were so responsible and caring, why are you a single mother? However, if he is looking for an actual relationship, than how can he know this is true? Once a man marries a woman and she has his kids, those kids will still come first.
So, the man will eventually no longer be first anyway. Particularly, if he is wanting to live according to Scripture — he is supposed to give of himself as Christ gave of himself for the church. As far as all relationships ending, why even have biological children because they may have to go through some turmoil when the relationship with their mother inevitably breaks down? There are decent women with children without mental issues.
Intact homes can produce children with these issues as well. Not all women are deadbeats expecting a man to support them and their kids. I would never allow a boyfriend to pay for my babysitter. Are you marrying a body or a soul? If you are marrying a body, you are doomed to disappointment as the aging process progresses. Perhaps the woman was misled prior to marriage about what kind of person the man was? Also, even if she was stupid in the past..
Plenty of people are stupid at age 20 and are much smarter years later.
And a lot of work. Not all women want a million kids. There comes a point where she is done. The man has to be doing something to contribute to, or even cause, the divorce. Maybe so, maybe not. Depends on each individual party to the circumstance. Besides, even if the ex-husband is a rat, a real man should be able to handle him. These days, women work and contribute at least equally if not more to the household.
You are completely wrong on everything you obviously use guys. Read your bible or completely ignore it like you are doing now. Granted not all single moms are whores, but ALOT of them are especially the young ones. If that's not enough proof to avoid single moms, then I don't know what is!
Personally I don't single moms because I'm a single man with no kids,who prefers women without the extra luggage. I'm a follower of Christ myself. But I don't know anyone else's heart. Currently got a single mother coming on to me. Single mothers mostly made their choice - why should I go into a "partnership" where I'm close to the last priority in their life. Real men don't scrape the bottom of the barrel. I disagree with your number 4 reason. Personally, I would not mind spending more money on a woman. When I first met my girlfriend, she was single but living with her sister.
Her sister is a single mom with a little boy. The single sister i. I assumed the kid belong to her. Soon afterward, I met her again with her nephew. Then I overheard her talking to the little boy and referring to herself as the "aunt". That was when I realized she was the aunt, not the mother. That was when I started pursuing her. At first, she tried to set me up with her younger sister, i. Twice I asked the older sister out.
She showed up with her sister and nephew, and then excused herself and her nephew. The second time it became obvious that she was trying to set me up with her single-mom sister. After our second "date", I told her, "hey, I am not interested in your sister. I am interested in YOU. Then I tried to date her again - without her sister or nephew - without much success. That actually became one of her qualities I like about her: So I suggested that she could bring her nephew along on our dates. During our dates, I bonded with the little boy.
I spent quite a bit of money on the little boy on our dates. I have no complaint. I actually observed that she is a caring person and will make a great mother someday. But I still would not date a single mom. So you see, I have no problem with spending money on children. I just do NOT want a single mother. So you would totally date a girl who is Not a mother but will attend the date with the nephew and spend money on the child even if it's not yours?
Do you know how pathetic you are? All the men on this post, are weak minded immature men. They don't know what it's like to have responsibility and it's men like you that make the angry single mothers that you unasbashedly shame. You are hypocritical slugs, and you are too blind to see you are part of this cycle that you shame. This is the most brick-headed bunch of unevolved and unexpansive male minds I have ever seen.
Lol Try looking at it like we are queens who have wisdom far beyond what you can perceive that pull no punches but take no shit. So a guy that won't spend his hard-earned money on another guy's kid for maybe the next 18 years or more, and who'd prefer to date a childless single woman is pathetic, immature, unevolved slug You just perfectly illustrated the mentality of so many single moms, and why they should be avoided like a bad disease.
As a single man would I rather date single woman with kids or without kids? Granted she wasn't that interested but why the hell would I wait a week for a date when I Can meet a woman who is willing to meet me tonight? Spending money on another man's child. Don't make it a habit. I totally agree with the author's points. It's sad that too many women can't take responsibility for their bad decisions. These single mothers then blame it on the guy they were with or some other bogus excuse.
As shown in the lengthy comment above from the single mom, there is a lack of accountability on her part. But then she expects a single guy without kids to accept her and her bad choices. Sorry single moms, but single women like myself without kids will win out every time over you. And it goes for both sees without kids; I will not date men with kids. Not to be blunt, but people without kids don't need tthe baggage.
I think it's so sad that a highly educated women would be so demeaning to other women. I am 35 year old physical therapist and a single mother who owns her own home. I wasn't Wong when I got married or had my children I was almost thirty. Its just sad there is so much negativity. Some of us never thought we would be here and sometime divorce just happens life happens. So keep talking smack about your mom's aunt's sisters and cousins.
Because I am pretty sure that they never thought they would have to do it all alone. So as a women I am disappointed that a never women would look down on any other women going through something so heart wrenching. Cuz that what divorce is heart wrenching. So I hope when you meet the man of your dreams you stick to your guns and don't have kids so that way if he does ever leave you the only hear you have to heal is your not little ones: Anonymous Uneducated Girl Let me start by assuring you, "You will not win out every time".
Your comment did make me giggle though. You have obviously traded children for "awesome nights blogging" and Web searching small dogs that will fit in your knock off bag. I am sorry that no one wants to have a baby with you and settle down and it has made you bitter. Also, just a quick lesson on pregnancy, surprisingly it takes a man and a woman.
Shock and awe I know! Children are not "bad decisions" and I believe there would need to be two people held accountable? Good luck with your future relationshipso - he will leave you for a single mom that is just a better person. I recently had a single mother stalking me It all started as normal random conversation. She was kinda cute. She mentioned some of her interests, I mentioned mine.
Over the weeks, the moaning started. Her ex always at her front door, the childcare, the DIY, the bills, the lack of time, the ex mother in law, the cleaning, the cooking blah blah blah. I told her I didn't care. That was a few weeks ago I don't recall her asking about my life. Just as one would expect. I know about 5 women around my age. Maybe 2 of them in the last year have asked me: Other than that, it's all about her and her gloom and doom. No thanks, I'll pass. I'm sure she would have asked you if she cared. Probably didn't - like you. Sounds like a good match!
Go back and reread what he said, he showed initial interest and when they talked, she advertised all the non attractive things about a potential partner. Not once did she show any personal interest about his life. Now tell me, why would anyone in their right mind man or woman want to care or date a person who shows nothing but hassle and little top no interest about them? Certainly not him or me that's for sure.
It's a matter of common sense, they talked, he said she was cute, she got his attention, then promptly laid out her dirty laundry of her life and complained about how bad it was. Then promptly showed zero interest in his personal life. Who in their right mind, man or woman, would want to date a person like that?!
Great at first me thinking what kind of idiot would give this person up - then as per the author's accurate observation points, the negatives crept in. History shows she now has 4 kids to 3 different fathers. Facebook is your friend. Nowhere else in nature will you find the male willing to take on another male's offspring. There's a single mother in our street who play's the hard-done-by card to a tee. She has a constant stream of male "helpers" providing her with free DIY, drinks, meals, vacations etc.
Would you date a single mother if she didn't have a vagina? Bwaahahaa to point number I posted the lengthy statement above.
Dating single mothers? Just say NO! A note for all the single dudes.
I am a divorced mom and I am not dating until my youngest child is 18 and maybe not even then. I support myself, always have, and my children with no help. Their father was a deadbeat. Yes that is my fault too, but what's done is done. Not all women are money grubbing gold diggers like the bloggers wife, and men need to take responsibility too. Don't have sex with her or get a vasectomy. Or, just act like single moms are money grubbing whores trying to get themselves pregnant for your paycheck.
This is a universal truth. Its not only truth in your country , this is a truth every where , every country , every color of woman etc. Seems that in USA can get worse as I read some folks legally have to pay for kids that dont belong to them , thats insane. The only situation in nature to take other men offspring is different species. Let nature do the job. He is not illiterate. English is obviously not his first language. Considering that he is still able to write a post in English is smarter than you.
I'm a man, engaged to the mother of my two children. And even in this situation, the children always take priority. You the significant other won't always be the priority; and that's fine. We a still love eachother and we're to be married September if I think most of this article is trash.
Not wanting to be with a woman because she doesn't have a pre-pregnancy body is incredibly shallow, and speaks poorly to your character. If you're really worried about the possibility of a divorce, and the woman getting half of everything you have? I also don't believe you would be accused of child abuse for no reason, unless you gave people reason to worry, or the mother is crazy as hell. In which case, the flags should have gone up long before you invested enough time to be trusted with her child alone. Frankly, the only thing I can agree with you on is the child bonding with a man, and the relationship ending.
If this happens so many times, it can be emotionally harmful to the child. I know a single mother that dated so many men, her son will call anyone daddy. He called me daddy the 2nd time they were at my house, and I felt terrible for the kid.
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Outside of that, your views seem really misguided. A little boy at my son's daycare called every woman mommy. Mom's can be dead beat parents too. Do these rules also apply to single fathers?
I think the entire article is trash. It must be satire. I'm seeing a guy who's 8 years younger than me; he's well aware that I have two kids. We take turns paying for our dates, we plan everything around the kids he's super considerate of them and their needs. We are going super slow, and making sure all our decisions for the future are most beneficial for the kids well being.
Not every man is a shallow idiot like the author of this article. Not every single parent mom or dad is a crazy blood sucking parasite. People with children usually have goals, they work hard to get or stay ahead. They can be the most inspirational and motivational people. They obviously know how to take care of others and put someone else first. That's way more than can be said about most unmarried young people with no kids these days.
To each their own, but real adults with real world views would not find use of this article. Thanks for your thoughtful feedback, Anonymous, and I mean that sincerely. There were many reasons cited. Deterioration of her body was only one. Prenups are tossed out of court all of the time.
False allegations of abuse are also made all of the time. And, in fact, no small percentage of people including women are, in fact, dealing with mental illness. Even though you've revealed very little about yourself, what you have revealed indicates that the odds of you staying married to this woman are not favorable. This is based on statistics, and of course stats are about a population. I urge you to read this: I look forward to hearing how things progress in your relationship. A large percentage of said people dealing with mental illness and personality disorders are women.
Of all the reason for avoiding single mothers for dating and relationships, the best one came from a woman - it was a YouTube comment made by ShieldWife: She would have that guy's children and you'd be the sucker paying to raise that guy's kids and to support this unfaithful woman. You certainly wouldn't ever consider dating that woman, right? She's already had that fling with the bad boy and now she wants a sucker to support her and that guy's kids. Why would you agree to enter into a relationship that you know is going to be exploitive from the very beginning?
Maybe he was a decent hard working man, a good father and provider. In which case, she stabbed him in the back and tore apart their family, doing immeasurable damage to their children and ruining the poor guy financially and emotionally, likely because she got bored with him. I fell for it and lost big, 9yrs. She got bored and cheated on me, like her ex. I put 2 and 2 together and came up with her needing an ATM not a life long partner.
Oh, I help her through a Batchelors and Masters degree and cheated on me one month later after getting it. This is spot on, and there are many other reasons than these. I'll address a few things that the initial "Anonymous" woman posted regarding your points. On the point that a "mature" man would understand that he's going to be last priority. I dated many single moms in the past - before I wised up that aside from sex there is nothing in such for a real man - and single mommy ALWAYS expects that she be his first priority, with her kids by another man being a close second priority for him.
It isn't just that most relationships end, it's that a guy who gets with a single mom is likely to lose a whole lot more when - most likey - the single mom ends the relationship. So single mommy, if she was married, likely made her own mess. And it is highly likely she will do the same for the new guy, and take a lot of his assets, and cash with her. On a guy being vulnerable to charges of abuse, this is definitely true, and while not common, all it takes is one angry single mom or stepkid to ruin a man's life. It won't matter that he's not guilty he'll lose his job, his life, and his relationships because the stain of those false accusations will never go away.
It doesn't matter if YOU won't expect your boyfriend to pay for, or not. Most every single mom I've dated sat back easily and thought I should pay, and that is the same experience for men most of the time. If I'm in shape and take care of myself, I have every right not to deal with a body that is attractive and in shape.
Just as a guy needs to take care of himself physically, so does a woman. Great if she's got a wonderful personality, but that's only part of the package. No man when he is young dreams of being a father Step-parenting is most often a living Hell for the guy with no kids.
He is not part of the team that single mommy, her kids, and even her ex form, AND while Stepdaddy will be expected to empty his wallet to pay for kids not his, he will be disinvited at will if he expresses a desire for her kids - and even for her ex - that is counter to the opinion of the members of her team. My, my how single moms like to throw around the words "real man" to try to insult we guys who are wise enough to stay away from single moms.
Obviously, we guys who want to keep out time, dreams, money, K, assets, etc. You have no idea of which you speak. Regarding exes, I handled a couple deadbeat exes in my day, but why should I have to? My life without single mommy is full of money, free time, no drama, my assets are safe and mine. AND I don't have a single mommy who still pines for her ex - is often banging him still on the side -, who creates a lot of drama between me and the ex. Single mommy picked him, and so she should have to deal with him Never refer to children as Baggage.
You were a child once so that makes you baggage? The only thing I don't agree with here is that single mothers do offer something that a person without children can. And that's the ability to think third demential meaning they know how to take care of someone other than themselves and most of the time can act unselfish! Other men's children are excess baggage, especially when single mom tries to get a man who is not their father to carry the baggage. Single moms are poison whether their baggage lives at home or is out generating grand kids who are not your own, but will be a sucking swamp of your time and resources.
Oh yeah, choosing to have a kid who'll grow up without a father to is sooo unselfish. Having your parents babysit your kid while you hit the bars, collecting WIC and foodstamps is sooo unselfish. Here's something a chick with kids can offer you that a childless woman can't, and that's to possibly have a court stick you with child support if the relationship with her ever ends, for a the other guy's kids if the court decides they see you as as having a parental relationship.
Simply put it you're selfish don't date single parents. Just don't date a single parent if you are. That's when it won't work out. I think this is crap. I'm a single mom of three. I made a responsible decision, with my husband, to have those children; we both wanted them. I'm not looking for a new baby daddy, sugar daddy, or cash cow. I take care of my own children, pay my own bills, and am going to the closing table on a house in less than three weeks. I don't date, nor do I plan to date until my youngest is in school so that they do not start to get attached to anyone.
I will only introduce a man to my children if it is completely serious; not even if said man wanted to meet my children. I don't want any more children and have in a mirena until I can get my tubes tied. Yes, my kids will always come first, as it should be. But, even if I was childless, I learned a long time ago to never elevate a man above myself.
So, he still wouldn't come first. I agree that there are a lot of women out there like this but, there are also men with a lot of these traits. I think it's messed up to group all single moms in with a few gold digging, baby mamas. Some of us are decent, responsible, honest, hardworking people. Sweetheart you are not a single mom, you are a widow. You made the proper choice and circumstances out of your control,took your husband and their father from you. Look at what you typed, your character is dramatically different from what he is inferring.
In my opinion, as much as it is relevant, a widow is not even on the same planet as an intentional baby mamma etc.. You are a widow, you are not under any circumstance a single mother. You did your due diligence, had children in the correct manner,and circumstance out of your control took your husband and their father away. You did not make poor life choices and expect someone else to pick up the slack. You are not on the same planet, as a baby mamma or arrogant divorcee. There's a guy in our office. He took on a single mother with 2 kids. She never looked happy around him. Not sure if there's even a moral to this.
I feel so bad for that poor guy and I hope he recovers from this disaster. I was about to end up like this but she cheated much early in the marriage and we divorced and she thought she ll get alimony and k but non of that happened and I have recovered from that depression and now I super careful in selecting any women as a life partner They can cook, clean, keep house, balance a checkbook and stick to schedules. How many single women are sloppy and can't cook because they never had to take care of someone?
They DIDN'T stay with a deadbeat in order to save face and took on the single mother stigma head-on to sacrifice for their children. They already know how to out others before themselves. How many single women do that well? Could men ever bear to be judged like the man that wrote this article is judging women? How many men adore their nieces and nephews? How many men teach or mentor children? You can love the experience if the mother is as great as you're dating her for Everyone has a history. Writing half of the dating population off for something that could work out fine is not the ONLY choice single men have.
Sincerely, Gorgeous 36 yr old, divorced mother of three I'd have to meet her first. Being a single mother doesn't make you undateable. Being a horrible person does and they're are horrible people with and without kids. Single father's are judged and passed on all the time. Single mothers most certainly do not all know how to cook. I dated one and she was terrible. And you certainly don't speak for all single mothers, I've seen plenty that treat men like trash and use them. One of the reasons they are single. And as to they knee what they want? Not necessarily so,and more likley than not, they are looking for resources.
There's not much incentive for a single guy to date a woman with kids, who likley have a strong bond with biodaddy and will see the new guy mom is dating as an invader. Happened to a friend of mine. You don't be a team either in regards to the kids, you're in the back, biodaddy is a teammember and you're expected to pay. You'll never have an opportunity to be her first priorty or have that important bond where the husband and wife will be important to each other. You will always be a distant after thought. And if she's older and had multiple kids, your not likley to have any of your own as well.
My uncle is married to a widow. Her daughter always came first, then she had a kid out of wedlock. Grandchild came first, and he is still an after thought but expected to pay. I also noticed you praised yourself. Not really much to offer a single guy with no kids at your age and I can infer your divorce was bad. You have an uphill battle if you're going to date again for something serious and long term.
I wish you luck. Of course they can clean and keep house - but WILL they? Oh, that's a good one. What a mess for their kids! This is NOT an anti-woman posting. This is about protecting men and children. The risks are far more severe and likely to happen. Well, personally I've always found the very idea of dating a single mother to be repulsive. Basically I'd be taking on the responsibility of raising another man's offspring, which to me, comes off as completely arbitrary.
The ultimate purpose of being in a relationship with someone in my book is marriage, and being married to a single mother means having to share the financial burden of raising the children. The messed up thing is if the relationship ends, then there is the risk of having to pay out child support to children who aren't even mine. The risk and effort is just not worth it.
I have, and will always continue to avoid single mothers like the plague. You made that up No man pays child support for kids that were already there before they even dated unless they choose to. Some men raise kids and consider them theirs too. Glad there are wonderful em out there like that. I know of a case in New Mexico and a couple in California where a man was forced to pay child support for not his own spawn.
Everything Must Go!: Don't Date Single Mothers - Here is Why
Avoid single moms, make the wrong decision and there is a chance you will be financially gutted and made to support her kids. Wow what a bunch of negative people! This post is wrong! As for all you trolls, you're nothing but a bottom feeder living with mommy with a bottle of lotion on his night stand! I won't date a single mum for the simple reason that i raised my son on my own, he's grown up now and it's all about me these days, as i've done my part in raising my OWN kid.
I have my own business, very financially independent, play sports and have a busy life. There is no way i would jeapordise that for anything or anyone, as i worked hard for everything i've got these days. I'd prefer to date someone who has had kids, but they're grown up now. I just believe that you should be raising your own kids, not someone else's!
On the balance of probabilities - dating a single mother is not going to result in a happy outcome for you. They are in the minority. Why take the risk? My step dad who I consider my dad made that decision a long time ago and he doesn't regret it for a second because I'm not a phuck wit and because he is a decent guy. Life isn't black and white. Be considerate for a second OP. Because there are so many betas on dating websites. Originally Posted by lui SRS By sayso in forum Misc. Bookmarks Bookmarks Digg del.