If you are not in a Bible Study group, find a few friends who have similar needs to yours, and invite them to participate in the study with you. Usually before they do. We think we do. But in the end, regardless of how many potential right candidates there are, one and only one is chosen. As of the writing of this book, it appears that five contestants chose well. They moved on to the next right person. Then they set off looking for the Right Person. They met someone they were physically attracted to, added sex to the relationship right away, and fell into a kind of neurochemical bliss that made them believe that not only had they never loved like this, no one in human history had.
But once they got married, they had a problem: Neither the husband nor the wife knew anything about relationships. Soon enough, their relationship problems began causing chemistry problems. The sexual part of the marriage died, leaving both of them frustrated and confused. Separation and divorce followed. No one wants to watch a movie about a happily married couple. Think about some popular movies, TV shows, and songs about romance.
Which of the rules do you agree with?
Which ones do you disagree with? You need to become the right person. Thinking that if you met the 'right person' everything would turn out 'right'? In The New Rules for Love, Sex andamp; Dating, Andy Stanley explores the challenges, assumptions, and land mines associated with dating in the twenty-first century. Best of all, he o 'Are you who the person you are looking for is looking for? Best of all, he offers the most practical and uncensored advice you will ever hear on this topic.
Not for the faint of heart, The New Rules for Love, Sex andamp; Dating challenges single Christ followers to step up and set a new standard for this generation! Unveils what God says that will lead to success in dating and marriage, Transforms guys way of thinking about women, Reveals common myths about sex outside of marriage, Prepares men and women to one day say 'I do' and mean it, And much more.
Paperback , pages. Published March 25th by Zondervan first published December 25th To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. Lists with This Book. While I am a rather poor excuse for a Christian I like Christmas Trees with a one way ticket to hell for some matters involving lusting over a bare thigh in church no less for which I refuse to ask forgiveness, I am a rather dyed in the wool monogamist.
So for the price, I thought I would see what the good pastor has to say. Actually I was pleasantly surprised. The book starts out fairly secular. Later chapters he drags out the sin and purity and starts thumping the Bible, but if you can get around the rhetoric, for the most part the suggestions in this book are good and would apply to non-religious folks as well as the religious. Let us say that I agree with most of his methods.
His main tenet is that instead of looking for the right partner become the right partner. Become the person that you are looking for. He goes a little overboard in my estimation on premarital sex That said however I will admit that I think he is right, jumping into sex prematurely blinds one to the relationship flaws. Sex is a powerful binding element in human relationships, but it does not guarantee longevity in a committed relationship. He states the way to resolve your relationship issues is with a clear head before you get involved with sex.
I agree, but I don't think waiting until your wedding night is a good maneuver for determining your sexual compatibility. But then again I don't find premarital sex conducted in a committed loving relationship with the aim of marriage to be sinful. Am I willing to bet my Soul on that?
Yes, but I am not willing to bet yours so read what he has to say and decide for yourself. While I didn't agree with all he had to say and perhaps the theology behind it, I have to say if you can ignore the churchy hype, this guy has something important to say about love, sex, and marriage. The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating is a discussion guide developed for use with the four-session video, which complements a A special thank you to Zondervan and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating is a discussion guide developed for use with the four-session video, which complements and expands the material in the book.
While the material in the discussion guide is intended for use with the video, some of the discussion questions will also reflect content used in the book. Overview 1 The Right Person Myth 2 Gentleman's Club 3 Designer Sex 4 If I Were You This book is also meant for married couples as well as singles and even for those, like myself not dating but may have grown single children or grandchildren, or for use in the leadership of young adults. As we all are aware, sex is leveraged to sell just about everything.
Actually the promise of no strings-attached sex with a way above-average-looking person is used to sell just about everything. Sexual scandals among politicians, athletes, and celebrities. Infidelity is woven into the plot of just about every form of entertainment that involves a plot. So cherish it, protect it, preserve it, reserve it!
I loved this part: The present will be your past, which will be present in your future. Namely, pain you will experience later because of decisions you are making right now. People drag their past in their marriage and future. When sexuality and chemistry and passion dies — because they are no good at relationships.
In fact, our flaws are often magnified in marriage.
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So flawed people bring problems into a marriage and bringing others into the mix like children will not solve the underlying problem. So why not start now becoming the person your future spouse wants and needs. Your preparation now is worth much more than your commitment later. Whether you still in the game, or back in a season of looking for the love of your life, this book can help.
Sex and sexuality are a bit like fire. The same is true for all things sexual. If you never been married or are under thirty, even if you have lived with someone you underestimate the complexity of your sexuality and the long-term ramifications of your sexual conduct.
The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating
As Stanley uses the example: Our bodies share a similar design when it comes to our sexuality to be expressed within a specific context. You can choose to express your sexuality outside the parameters of that divine design. Romance is fueled by exclusivity. Practice makes perfect does not apply to sex. This is why practice undermines the essence of romance. What you can control is what you do in the meantime.
Who knows there may be someone out there preparing for you as well! On a Personal Note: Andy Stanley is a former pastor of mine, and have enjoyed his teachings, Christian leadership, and his insightful books, as well as his father, Dr. When I moved to Atlanta in early , my sons were away at college in another state; I was single, divorced, and in my late thirties.
I was fortunate to become an integral part of what is now North Point Ministries, from the beginning of its inception in l For the first three years we met every other Sunday night in rented facilities, and when the Olympics came to town, we were unable to meet for nine weeks. Later the land was purchased in Alpharetta, GA and construction began —what is now North Point —some great times, a huge singles group, and many budding friendships grew out of this fabulous foundation.
The Right Person Myth
However, since I lived in Buckhead, was thrilled when in , became a part of the Buckhead Church and again we held services in rented facilities in different areas of town. It was so exciting with the preparations building our new church; however, I relocated, for work to Florida in and have been here since. I missed the permanent facility at Tower Place in the heart of Buckhead in May where the church is thriving today. Cannot wait to go back for a visit.
All singles need friends like these! No matter where you are in your life or your spiritual journey — it will change how you think about the present and the future. Miss you guys at Buckhead Church Atlanta. Collins Must Read Books Jan 08, Tiffany Lewis rated it it was amazing. It needs to be read by every Christian teen!
Because it says everything that I want to say to my girls , and it says it better than I ever could. In New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating, pastor and bestselling author Andy Stanley provides practical, biblical, uncensored advice to anyone who is dating or thinking about marriage. Stanley outlines the triumphs and tragedies of dating in the twenty-first century.
A few days before I started reading this book, one of my oldest girlfriends and I were talking about how our parents talked to us about sex. Both sets, having the same views, basically told us "It's bad to have sex before marriage. When we tell kids "No. Kids, and young adults, want to know why.
There is an ingrained curiosity in kids of all ages to know the who, what, where, when, and why of all things. Only when they know the reason behind the statement, will they consider adopting it as their own beliefs. We literally set our children up for failure when we don't explain why we wait for marriage to have sex. Andy Stanley debunks this theory but, more importantly, he expands on it in continuing chapter. He comes up with a brilliant line that I am going to use on my girls: You need to be the kind of person that the kind of person you want will actually want.
This is a life truth that needs to be taught more than it is.
- The Right Person Myth.
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It would change lives if we managed to get our children to understand this concept before they left the house so that they could apply it to all aspects of their lives. Stanley really gets into the good stuff starting with Chapter 6 "The Gentleman's Club" where he talks about how to treat a woman. This is left out of so many books, and young men are left to figure it out on their own.
They adore women and expect them to be lifted up, respected, cherished and valued. There is no chapter in this book about being a submissive wife, just reminders to men that Jesus consistently elevated the status of women while he was here and how men are expected to do the same. This is not talked about enough in relationship books and I applaud Andy Stanley for adding it.
Stanley uses Chapter 7 "The Way Forward" to talk about porn. He doesn't just talk about how bad it is and that it goes against God's plans, but he explains why it can harm you in the long run. And he suggests getting help for it before you start dating. Again, not another chapter with rules and no explanation, Stanley does a great job of breaking it down so that it makes sense to young minds.
That makes so much sense! It is so perfect and exactly what I want my girls to understand before they leave my house. That's why I'm saving this book until my girls are old enough to read and discuss it. Andy Stanley managed to put into black and white what parents have been struggling to say for decades, and he does it with such a great sense of humor. I laughed out loud several times while reading because of Stanley's sarcastic humor. I seriously can not recommend this book enough. Oct 23, Anino rated it it was amazing Shelves: For those who really want to get married, listening to what this man has to say will really help you if you want to be helped.
A lot of times, we make it complicated because we close our eyes and ignore the blaring lights that attempt to warn us against stumbling blindly into one meaningless relationship after another. Andy Stanley definitely has the goods in regards to being able to relate to people, in a way that leaves one feeling hopeful, instead of ashamed and condemned. Apr 08, Christine Baptiste rated it it was amazing. The book you need to read if you want to understand the value of abstaining from sex until marriage. It was written in a non preachy non judgemental way that makes you want to continuing reading even if you didn't agree at first.
Mar 22, Veronica rated it it was amazing Shelves: Every single, from teens and up, should read this book! Great advice; really makes you think about how you view relationships and finding the "right" person and what you're doing to become the right person. Especially good for those just starting to date so they can stop mistakes before they make them, but it's never too late to start fresh!
Apr 29, Stephanie rated it it was amazing. I will reference this book for a long time. Jan 30, Amariah Dixon rated it it was amazing. This book is informative and has sound info about dating. The advice Andy Stanley gives is very helpful. I highly recommend this book! Andy Stanley is also a good speaker. View all 6 comments. OK here's the thing - Andy Stanley just really gets under my skin. Everything he talks about just seems to be him saying "What you know is wrong.
What I know is right.
And I'm going to change your life by telling you this. As for this book - good stuff.
The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating - Study Gateway
Everyone can get at least something from it I'm sure. And the whole "becoming the rig OK here's the thing - Andy Stanley just really gets under my skin. And the whole "becoming the right person" is good advice, I'm just not sure the motivation for becoming a better person ought to be to find a spouse.
As for me, well, I already held all of the beliefs expressed in this book. And to have everything presented as "you don't know about any of this, let me reveal to you the secrets of good relationships" just didn't fly with me, since I've grown up knowing all this. That's not to say the ideas presented in this book are bad, like I said I already hold them. It's just the way they're presented seemed a little condescending.
Do I recommend this book? There's some good stuff in it. Do I think it'll drastically change your view of relationships? It didn't for me, but then again I'm an oddity. Jul 26, Josh Stowers rated it it was ok. A couple of positives: Really great wisdom for a De-christianized nation. Anyone that follows his advice will be relationally successful.
The only thing I can say is new about this book is its ability to talk about C A couple of positives: The only thing I can say is new about this book is its ability to talk about Christian sexuality while stripping it of its purpose and power. It strips its purpose by directing the only meaning of marriage as being temporally beneficial but not God glorifying. This is painfully obvious. I am not saying that Andy does not believe the things he does not mention. However he does not take this approach with churches.
He suggest to find the biggest church in your area and it just has to be big for a good reason.