Threee years on he is the only one who thrills me. By that I mean he never bores me or gives in to my manipulation so the challenge aspect is very interesting. I actually see now that in my younger years I had more bpd tendencies, whereas now my ways are more sociopathic. The development kind of grew. He acted as a mirror for me, seeing how he dealt with me, showed me how I deal with others and what effect I have on them. We are more similar than different.
Sociopath World: Borderline personality disorder and sociopaths: one big empathy-challenged family
Being with him teaches me so much about myself because I get to see myself operating. I also can not complain about the hardships because what he mighht inclifct upon me, I myself, inflict on others constantly. We discuss our dark side together though he is more cautious. Quite useless of him, as he and I both know that I see who he is exactly. Well, takes one to know one. I really think that NPD, BPD and ASPD's are joined together in their pursuit of the holy grail of all people with personality disorders which obviously is a desire to suck an erect penis of a whale just after it left another's whale's anus.
If you spoke this to me in person. I would consider it well within my rights to zip tie you to a chair naked. Brand you with a hot iron in the shape of a penis, simply for the irony of it. And the release you from the chair and zip tie your hands behind your back and your feet together. Immediately after which I would place a clear plastic bag over your head and zip tie it air tight around your neck. Not tight enough to choke you but just tight enough so that no air can get in. Then I would push you to the ground and watch you thrash around on the cold wet concrete completely naked as panic starts to seep into every corner of your being and you realize you are about to die.
Keep your ignorant comments to yourself. It isn't our fault you have no friends, or at least none that can stand you for long periods of time, and thus find the need to troll this site. I obviously have no way of assessing your real identity so you are at no risk of facing my zip ties, but be more mindful of what you say.
The next out of the way comment you make in your life may be to a psychopath that actually do know where you live. Lets be clear about a few things. The rehabilitation rate for borderlines who commit to therapy is exceptional, for sociopaths it is zero. This is because borderlines have a well-developed conscience.
But you can only take on so much guilt as a person.
What would happen in a BPD-ASPD relationship?
So you oscillate between thinking everything is your fault idealisation phase , and trying to push it onto someone else so you don't drown devaluation phase. If anything, our consciences are overdeveloped, not underdeveloped.
I've been in a relationship with a sociopath. Not so much at the time of course But even though it was my first relationship, some part of me felt it was Thankfully I had the strength to move to another city, which allowed me to break it off, and get through the horror of the rejection cycle without being able to rush back. Looking back, I can see how he used my own chameleon tendancies to bend me to his will. If I even expressed a desire for anything that didn't suit him, I was 'aggressive'. I feel disgust with myself at everything I did, everything I was.
There is a horrifying sense of abuse Thank you for this. I do hold alot of guilt and think people are mad all the time when they are not mad. I'm not a chamilion type. You can read my post above BPD's are people, sociopaths are a dead empty waste of oxygen. I have had BPD symptoms for awahile now.
I have dated two psycho paths and one sociopath. I have always been deeply attracted to their lack of empathy almost like it amuses me that they are amused by my lack of control of emotions. It's like I have a deep I intimate relationship with pain the munipulation and control intoxicates me. The raw and blunt lack of filter lures me. Abandonment I would crawl on my knees and beg them not to go.
The power trips the humiliation I hate it and love it all in one breath. I was engaged to y last socio path and I am pregnant- he just up and left and never came back, he will not answer my calls nor speak to me. Yet on social media he constantly where's his engament ring. I tried to leave him a thousound times but I always come crawling back on my knees. I miss and hate him so much. The strangest thing is we both study Psychology, Metaphysics, occult science I have BPD was diagnosed at famous psych hospital three years ago and it "clicked" like nothing else in my life ever had before.
I've done a lot of therapy and learned how to behave in a way that allows me to function productively in life. I'm also better at managing my emotions. The BPD doesn't go away though. The diagnostic criteria behaviors can go away, mostly, but I'm still not neurotypical. It doesn't matter how much my behavior has changed. I've often wondered why men seem to find me so attractive. I've never been single since age fifteen, and I can't think of a single male I've ever been friends with or slept with who hasn't fallen head-over-heels. It's really weird because they've all been really different from each other -- some with BPD, some with other issues, some very emotionally healthy, etc.
They haven't had the same personalities as each other at all. The man I'm with right now is a total Gryffindor if you don't get the reference, for shame ; and the sorting hat would know it from across the great hall, not needing to even touch the guy's head. He's all about honor, honesty, sticking by one's word. I'm the opposite of that. I'm a huge cheater luckily he's poly so that fixes that , I lie whenever it seems justified to me which is often , I don't think promises need to be kept just for the sake of keeping them etc. I really can't fathom why he likes me.
I have no idea with this man finds me tolerable. I have actually molded myself to fit him better -- I've told him every awful thing I've ever done and then informed him of the lies I told when he and I first started talking. I've started telling the truth to everyone else. I tell him he's making me a better person, and I would like to believe it, but I don't think it's true.
I think if he died today then I'd immediately stop being the person he loves. I feel sort of guilty because what he sees as a unique experience in his life intense attraction to and love for me that developed into love within the period of a week, after years of not feeling much for anyone since his last love, who was a far better woman than I, passed away is an experience I've witnessed countless men having in response to me. He just happened to be the one I've fallen for too. What he felt wasn't the special thing. The fact that I felt it back is the special thing.
I often feel intense rushes of emotion, but it's been at least five years since I loved someone in a way where I couldn't flip it off like a light switch when someone else shiny came along. And that time was really just me being weak and needy anyway. Are you sure you are not a Narcissist? Every man falls in love with you, every man adores you, on and on with how amazing you are She's not saying how wonderful she thinks she is, she's explaining her experiences with men who look at her that way. I'm the same way - every guy I've dated since I was 16 has proposed to me and I've never been single for more than a couple of weeks.
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I shoot pool, fish, I can work on my own cars, I even used to watch football. I'm a hell of a cook, I can field dress a deer, read a map, drive a stick, shoot a 50cal, bugs don't gross me out, I don't like to shop, etc I'm not one of the girls that guys consider to be bat-shit crazy. In fact I'm still friends with all but one of my ex-boyfriends.
However I do have crazy intense emotional swings, I'm extremely insecure although I've learned to hide it and I'm usually the one to end a relationship the moment I sense right or wrong that it's starting to fade. You can't abandon me if I leave you first - but I'm a monkey who never lets go of one branch until she has firm hold of another. Welcome to functional BPD - great for you but it sucks for me. The only man I've ever felt safe with, and the only one I was willing to marry, is my completely sociopathic husband, God bless his nonexistent little heart. I was just a few days ago Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and put on medication, but my friend was telling me about Borderline Personality Disorder and it seemed to fit me as I read the signs, being abandoned by both my Mother Who has tried to kill me for the last 16 years and my Father who told my mom to tell my family he died of Overdosing and had recently contacted me, I where my emotions on my sleeve, and my life history and almost everything about me I would tell to anyone.
I tend to use people, interact with them, try to manipulate them into telling me there life background and stories, observing them, only to cast them aside very quickly. I go through intense mood swings and I blackout when I get mad or angry. I tend to fixate though on a specific girl I like, they become my all, before I have even asked them out, sometimes before I have even known them for a week.
I rely on my anger to push me, I go through intense bursts of hating myself and everyone around me to not wanting anyone to leave my side and becoming exceedingly egotistical. I have never been scuicidal but I have had scuicides in my family and have refused that option and have rejected it from my life. I have never been "close" to anyone for more than a few months, but blend in very well, liked by most people at my school because I tend to change subconscously depending on who is around me.
The only thing that doesn't is my violent and aggressive side. Can anyone tell me what you think i fit in as? I'd guess eupd its just another name for bpd. My mum left me when I was a kid abandoned me my half bro and my half sis and proceeded to try put both of us up for adoption we ended up living with our dif dads.
And my bro did go up for adoption. Luckily her dad was smart wealthy and lived in a big busy happy friendly house with the rest of his family unluckily for me I grew up with my dumb alco father who had fits of rage and did things like make me eat my own sick when he'd force feed me as a kid sorry for the heavy deets and I was v close with his mum thankfully so she balanced things out she kept him under control and I'd spend a lot of time at her house -not many friends- she was my soul mate and all I needed I think that's how I saw it. Mum meanwhile had 1 more boy with an abusive man and she kept him he's since turned out to be much like me only 5 yrs younger.
Got bullied in secondary school just because I was easy to pick on and maybe too loud and annoying sometimes but was still sort of part of the popular group, just the one they sometimes beat up and teased. I'm 21 now and went through a phase of beating up my dad breaking him down mentally in fits of rage but that's the only person I have that kind of anger with.
Anyways, Went out with a guy who I now think has socio tendencies and he broke my heart when I realised 2 years in that he had been cheating on me the whole time almost monthly sometimes weekly yet pretending V V convincingly to be a loving boyfriend. You wouldn't believe the lies and lengths he went to.
Cried like a child the first time I caught him out or at least tried don't think I saw tears then when I broke up with him he sent me one hard cold long text with the details of every time he cheated on me. I went into shock and was just glad I'd broken up with him. I had been insanely pathetically jealous and possessive of him though and even lied about being on the pill for 6months. I've since learned that's an uncool creepy thing to do.. Finally made it to college made loads of new friends started increasing my intelligence which I'd missed out on coming from a homely country nanny and dumb dad.
Of course I became an alco and a drug abuser just like my dad f'd it all up and had to drop out. Don't know if u can tell from reading all of that if u bothered but I'm nothing like the female socio this site often mentions bpd's to be but I'm still text book perfect example of one so if u want to get a diagnosis go to professionals both private and public not online forums. Should mention my bro who is just like me prob gets his personality from not growing up with his dad as I didn't with mum and also just from being around my mum she herself has a dif form of bpd I think-the more dark manipulative type.
She also had an eating disorder and smoked occasionally while she was preg with us so that says a lot. I just recently found out my husband has aspd I realize he would need to want the help or else it would be useless. What I'm trying to figure out is if I should leave or go? I love him and want to help him, but I'm so tired of the lies and being hurt emotionaly. I'm just numb at this point, trying to figure out what's tht next step. All personality disorders are treatable. But there is no medication designed to treat these disorders specifically.
It will take years of intense behavior modification and therapy and he will have to be totally committed to treatment and willing to accept that he has a real problem. If he is stay. If he is not go. He was diagnosed as ASPD and he told you? That is some involved mind play if he did. I would suggest that if you have a healthy regard for others and relatively stable "healthy" emotions get out while you can, don't waste your life.
How This "Nice Guy" Steals Women from Jerks
Also read up on Cluster B personality disorders- both the traits of those with them and the average traits of those people who end up in relationships with them. Find out what it is that made you want this person and still want them now even though you probably know deep down they don't care about you. Get help and move on. They cannot change fundamentally, no more than you can, though they can easily make you think this if you are naturally trusting of people and find it hard to understand how somebody could act in such an unhuman way.
Unless of course you have cluster B personality traits yourself. I was involved with a severe sociopath, manipulative and devious in very subtle and shrewd ways though always blatant to anybody personality disorder or otherwise who can seperate fully emotions from thought whenever necessary. You know when somebody is being deceitful when they offer information in a discussion you didn't ask for, when they become defensive when you're not attacking them, - or if they present an "emotion" completely in words in a formulaic manner, almost as if from a script.
For example everytime somebody with ASPD notices you might be suspcious of their devious manipulation and see you're genuinely upset theyll tell you something like "you're really important to me, I need you in my life" and they may say it in exactly the same way in many different situations. Also it may sound over the top and disingenous- emotional overkill. Because they've never felt a true emotion their actions may not entirely fit or feel natural to the situation - unless they are extremely intelligent.
The best way is to not look at the person saying it. Often if you love somebody you see their face and you may melt, you then don't rationally interpret the horrible twsited things the person with ASPD is saying. Try doing this during a heated moment, you may find yourself shocked. It may sound like a totally different person. I hope this is not the case as it sounds like a dreadful condition to have. Can you be ASPD and it be unconscious, as you've fooled yourself over the years?
Though I can understand what it feels like to truly feel guilt, remorse, shame, joy, sadness, I have done so under very extreme circumstances, it isn't my natural state of affairs. I generally feel numb and have many different characters that I interchange unconsciously. I do not really care about others peoples welfare- not that I want to hurt them, but I wouldn't consider their feelings when I'm deciding on what I want to do. Though I do not actively manipulate.
I have started to worry lately as I've spent more time with this sociopath. I initially allowed him to manipulate me and went off the rails which I do time to time often on my own and was temporarily vulnerable and played this up to allow him to feel control over me. Once I'd come back round the tables turned as I carried on with the vulnerability even when I wasn't feeling the least bit vulnerable.
It is somewhat amusing to manipulate somebody with ASPD and it is easily done once you know how they operate. It will only ever be a game though. If you have more to get from life then leave him. I am a sociopath magnet, lol, or am I attracted to them I find myself wanting to play his game, while playing my own game to manipulate him back to me Im not sure if hes aware of himself and what he is, but I did tell him I believe he is a sociopath, he did not respond. I since then have been trying a different approach, telling him I miss him and Im sorry if I disappointed or hurt him Everything is via text, he wont respond, only once to say "happy birthday" which I know was just to fuck with me, lol No response to numerous emotional texts, just happy birthday, lmfao, but not, I really am in pain and miss him so much Start valuing yourself, and please don't refer to yourself as "sick and twisted" - male violence doesn't deserve one more minute of your time in the form of self hatred.
Stay away from men and heal yourself, my best advice to you. Well, my name is Ana. Wrecked complete havok, friends, family, bye bye bye Self-destructive but not only towards myself. Wasn't good enough for me. Had to take everyone down with me. I dont have real emotions. They simply arent real. There's an illusion of the world, always as in my life ever since i was a child.
It's like the dream world, wtv, where everyone is an eternal child, and everyone is good, and there's no evil in the world and tatata. Problem was when having to deal with the real world and people and situations that did not fit into my inner world, it was like a punch to the soul. I don't remember being happy as a child. I was not mean however I managed to get people in trouble, because if I wanted to really do something, I'd convince everyone to do it, due to the excitment of it being such an awesome idea, and shit would usually hapen. That's what was remotely close to happyness.
I wouldn't say I was hypersensitive in my early teens. Things had to go my way. Or I'd feel like shit about myself. I was a perfeccionist, and a bright kid. And then I started to gain conscience od the world around me. Which I did not have. And I realized I didnt fit. I didnt care about anyone, or anything. I cared about having fun, laughing. My mother has bpd. She controlled my entire life. Everything I did, she chose what I had to study, what I had to dress, the friends I'd get to have. Which had not particullarly bothered me until I started to have that feeling of isolation. With everyone I was.
Suddenly was as if nothing mattered, nothing was funny, nothing nothing. It was like suddenly I had conscience of that. I needed change, I craved for it and I couldn't have it. I looked at myself in the mirror and it was like staring at someone else. I had no absolute contact with myself. I had been nothing but a pawn until then. That being being because my mother had been the only person allowed inside my inner world. To me she wasn't a person she was like this goddess, this perfect being. And suddenly not alone she wasn't perfect, she didnt fit in my world anymore. So I turned on her.
Her, my whole family, my 'friends' who werent friends, I had never developed any close relationships with anyone, was just fun and laughter purposes , I would kick everyone as far away from me as I could. I wanted to make the world into my world. And if it couldnt, then I'd rather there'd be no world. Basically I couldnt understand reality as it was, and I ran from it. If I had to I'd die before it got to me. We wont, and we get it.
And if we dont we'll likely die trying. We get insanelly attached to people. Mostly because the image we construct of them does not match reality. I am very subcounscious. I see what I want to see I've managed not to see people in front of me greeting me because I subcounsciously didnt want to. I was for years in a push pull relationship with this guy. He had BPD too. It was not particullarly a good relationship. But I was fucking blind, until he almost destroyed me.
Until the point I was crying in a classroom or looking at the computer trying to decide how i'd kill myself of course I told him this xD. It was good and bad. It was that fire that kept it going. Because I actually felt something. Then again, he would break up with me because he suddenly wanted to go chase someone else, I'd broke up with him for the same reason And we kept getting back. But it was getting harsher everytime. So I decided to quit for good.
Must have been the person I loved the most in my life. Because I met him in his narcissistic phase and we were both smoking a lot of weed so all his crazy ideas appeared normal to me. Plus I had this idealization of him where he really was smarter and more awesome than anyone else. I was in love for months, we lived together, everything fine And then I started to need change again.
Said 'Hey, lets move' he said 'ok'. Then he started to think and think and think and to scare himself out of his brains and one day I called him and he pushed me away saying he thought we should just be friends. Of course by then I had already knew what he'd been doing and that he was going to see someone else, so I just told him all I knew.
He couldnt speak anymore xD Well the girl tried like hell to be like me, he manipulated her into it so I won anyway xD Still. I suffered like hell. I didnt know that kind of suffering was even possible. Only my parents knew because I had nightmares every night. Woke up crying looking for him in my sleep.
No one else knew. I hate it when I feel this bad. I hate myself for letting me get this attached to someone. But on the other hand If I dont, I wont get to go to heaven, and float around in love while the illusion is good. It's more of an egoistic thing, I think. I just paint it pretty. I do it for myself, to make myself feel.
Then it's like a drug. You want more and more and more, and when you dont have it its like the worlds coming to an end. He painted himself as perfect. Now we have the good part of this envolvment We want to create the illusion that bad But are also very mistrusting. Especially when we don't pick up any vibes xD He was great with words, touch and lies.
I would have fallen except It seemed too programmed, too perfect. So I pretended I had fallen. He started to not care enough to lie that well and forgot what lies he'd told. His manipulative attempts were too drastic and killed the illusion. Was a good run though. He'd get me to his side, or at least falling a little into it, but I'd make him fuck up. So the illusion faded. Then he'd come to continue the game, and I'd illude again a little. Until I couldnt illude myself anymore. Which was a bummer cause now I ain't feeling shit again. Still, this was a good run.
Great emotional trainning ahah. I could feel but not get attached though, what else can a girl ask for? I let people see what I want them to see. If I want to have fun with someone, I'll be seen like the funniest coolest girl ever. If I hate someone, I'll make them hate me. If I want someone to love me, they will. If I want someone to feel sorry for me, they will too. I test people though first. I show them what they want from me and test them through it. Bate them, watch how they behave, if they're behaviours match each other and the words. How likely will I be to get what I want That sort of thing.
Its kind of like a recently developped defense mechanism. We had an intense emotional bond from the start. Were very empathic towards each other. That's why it felt so bad to let go. Because the odds of that happening again are remote. Well it was the exact opposite. I couldnt read him so he intrigued me. After realizing I couldnt read him because there really wasnt much in the back to read in the first place There was nothing there for me to find.
I like the finding. And I like emotions. Unconvering other's inconscient mind piece by piece and putting it in front of them. Understanding different heads from mine Preferably deep complex minds. Its more of a challenge. It's how I've been keeping myself busy and emotional. We got conection and understanding with self and others covered. And I think I've took a big step here towards emotional control. Cause its like cats, its a strong, rapid emotional impulse and it escalades like hell and it usually takes you.
I compare myself to a boat in the sea. The tide is calm. Most of the time. Until you get bored like crap and want to stirr it. And when it stirrs, from all the calmness, the waves hit the boat like a fucking tsunami and destroy you. At least they do at first. From there you either apply your amazing manipulative capacities on your self or keep having identity crisis and having to rebuild the boat over and over again.
You need to maintain the inner struture of the boat intact. And you cant do it because you provoke tsunamis, by incresing the illusion infinetely. You can adjust your sails, morphing yourself a little to the tide But you cant let the tide take you. You can stirr the water and you should.
But only to a level you can handle. That's all for my conclusions after all these years. But I'm going to fucking make this disease an impulse forwards instead of an endless loop. I know I have the ability to. Just have to oblige myself to, instead of trying to change the world and others, trying to change the mind of the inner raw me. I'm trying to make sense of all my past and dealing with all the shit I should have dealt with these years, creating a rational positive though regarding it in my head and dogmatizng it and never thinkking about it anymore.
And never forgetting all about it and get blinded by the moment. I ordered a love spell and before it was completed, I heard from my husband. He called me wanting to see me. I spent the day with him today, which was great. Yes I got my lover back through Dr. My wife left me six months ago. At first, I blamed her for leaving. In fact, I slapped Scripture on her, trying to guilt-induce her any way I could. My anger only pushed her farther away.
My wife gave me chance after chance, and I ignored her. Abu and within a few minutes of speaking with him, I realized that Dr. Abu was the one person whom I could completely trust. Within 48 hours, My wife is back in my life. Abu again for further work in the future. You can contact him on Ominighospelltemple gamil. This article is a hilarious misconception I can't believe what I just read. You are referring to one v specific borderline when you say female socio. Actually often they have huge empathy both cognitive and physical and have v few narcissistic qualities at all.
I have eupd borderline type triple checked diagnosis for 2 years now and I can tell you I am the farthest thing from a female socio you will get. I'm nowhere near adequate enough for that haha if you met me you'd understand straight away. Borderline has many many subtypes and to say its on the lacking empathy spectrum alone is a mistake. I believe what was meant by this article and in general the notion of Borderline as the female presentation of psychopathy or sociopathy is that there is a small but distinct percentage of female borderlines that are also psychopaths.
Very little research has been conducted to determine the validity of this hypothesis, however, and in fact I am currently conducting such research at the psychiatric hospital where I work. Such assumptions must be supported with empirical data if we are to know the truth. One of the hallmarks of BPD is the shifting of mindsets over time with a denial of previous mindsets at the time one is dominant. This is called identity diffusion In the case of the BPD, these are described in Deconstructive Dynamic Psychotherapy a psychodynamic, evidence-based treatment for BPD as the guilty perpetrator mode I'm bad and beyond redemption.
No one should care about me or help me. In this fourth mode, borderlines are emotionally detached, engage in self-soothing behaviors, and often take advantage of others egocentrically. In this state of mind they do resemble sociopaths. But it is not the presence or absence of these traits that defines the disorder, but the rapid and sudden shifting from mode to the other. Sociopaths have more stability to their personality traits, rather than shifting from one to the next in response to interpersonal triggers.
Thats just different mindsets of the SAME stream of person. You people need to take a good read of the European diagnostic manual and understand it before you talk about bpd. You need to take the term eupd into the equation too!! Cluster b personalities are "dramatic personalities" too not "lacking emotion". Bpd can swing either way.. Same Day Payday Loans. I still have such a long road, but I truly think I hurt myself and others less, because I now try to focus most of my energies on mimicking Jesus, praying, church, reading the Bible, apologetics, etc.
I think it's great that you gave yourself to Jesus and that your symptoms seem very manageable. I will pray for you. I ordered a spell on a friday night and on Monday the place I applied for a job called for me to come by their office. They gave me the job I applied for and made me an offer of more per hour than I have ever made in my life! I am so happy! The government jobs sometimes are a slow process. You somehow managed to speed up that process, and I start in just a few days! Dr rivers you can as well contact him fo help now email him at dr.
I was desperate for a kind and gentle man to enter my life when I ran into your email doing some surfing. I had a phone consultation with Dr dodogods and I found him to be so helpful, gentle and reassuring. Within a couple of weeks, I met a guy in a dance club who really swept me off my feet. All it took was one visit to Dr dodogods and my life is as good as it has ever been.
I need to thank Dr. Get your lover back: Your lover left you? Don't loose your time, he or she must still have feelings for you and must be getting trough a period of doubts. Take advantage of these doubts and ask me to do a spell now. This spell is specially designed for love issues. It will bring back the most intense passion he or she have had for you.
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Agbazara for the good job you did for me continue the good work. Agbazara temple of solution via email on: Since I read "Confessions of a Sociopath" it helped me understand someone with antisocial personality disorder.
I started reading more blogs on sociopath world I've noticed theirs a possibility that I could have border line personality disorder. I was diagnosed with seasonal depression and dysthymia in the past. My current diagnoses is major depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I've taken verity of medications to help with depression even ones that are used for other health problems that has shown to help depression.
Most of my family members I have shut out of my life since I don't have time for their drama or favors they ask for and don't seem to return. I give people a few chances to make a effort to make a relationship unless I see a benefit I could find useful. For the friends I do have we have a mutual problems or experience that we bond over but sometimes their just understanding.
I have changed my personality in order to get to know someone, fitting with other people or being unnoticed for I wont be bothered. I started joining sports for I could be healthier then changed to getting fit. I was obsessed about losing weight to the point of counting or restricting my calorie in take then burning the calories I consumed. I've had several health problems because I wasn't eating enough or working out to much over the years. I'm pretty sure my eating disorder is going to control me though out my life.
Latter in my life I became more impulsive and haven't made the best decisions without thinking the of consequences they could have. I started partying early in my life then doing hard core drugs years before I even tried pot. I stopped doing drugs after I had to start paying for them so didn't see the need to continue to them unless its free. I have been with multiple people most of the time unprotected but rush of danger from sleeping with someone was so exciting to me.
Most of my problems started early in my life but the first addiction for me wasn't a drug. It was brain chemicals that was released when I inflicting pain that pours so freely from built in stress. Its not like I haven't tried to stop even when I've passed out or going to the ER to get stiches because I couldn't stop the bleeding. I was never sure how to deal with stress in my life but one day I thought it would just be nice to end it all witch didn't work out very well.
Since then I try not to think about it but sometimes I still want to take the easy way out. I could control my self in situations even to the point of someone being in my face and yelling. I do have a tendency of not showing enough concern when someone tells me something personal or depressing but if its someone I care about I could show concern. If my depression or anxiety hits me hard I just can't control my moods all the time because theirs jus so much going on. Seems like it takes so much effort to seem normal but my moods could change within a few hours or through out the week.
The hole emptiness feeling is something I cant stand because it feels like I don't care about anything. Seems like years I've tried to find a magic pill that would fill it but seems like I have only found that helps with other problems. Sometimes I blame the emptiness for every for bad decision, habit, and impulses I have done in my life.
Sometimes I'm not sure what to do or what I'm feeling because theirs a hole inside me. It feels like I can't make a real connection with someone in life because I cant stay stable or my emotions would end a friendship. I'm a woman with BPD was diagnosed as a teenager and hands down my best relationship was with a socio.
He made me feel stronger and I was amusing for him. But I'll always have love for him, and while I can't read his mind I think he feels some sort of real friendship for me too. Honestly if you guys would stop pretending to have emotions to fit in, you'd have a better chance of finding someone who appreciates you for who you are, lack of social acceptability and everything. I am a psychotherapist in the Midwest. My area of specialty includes Cluster B personality disorders see above. For all the discussion here, much of which is quite good, it is important to mention that ALL pathology has a point.
To what extent will we "act" in order to get what we want "now"? I have often said to clients"What's the difference if I say to you "Can I take this from you now please? I might add the only reason I didn't reveal myself is because I don't have any of the URLs here in order to post except for "Anonymous"!
Damn straight it is, and I expressly grant you permission to stand in awe of my superhuman ability to have been dealt this hand and emerged THIS sane. I think you've solved another case Sad part about socio's is, they don't realize how funny they really are. Here's my advice to all those suffering from loving a sociopath so extremely deeply, you lose your mind, heart and soul in every salacious, delicious, emotionally charged, ecstasy-filled moment - Ease up, don't take yourself too seriously Oh, and one more thought I think it'll end in a showdown Anyone on here know where I can get a deck of UNO cards?
Getting my Ex back my name is Sarah. Thanks so much Dr olokun his email: As a diagnosticated BPD, I agree with almost everything said here. Make them fear you? I mean, I think about it, but I almost sure that is more probable to kill myself first that hurt someone or hurt someone and then kill myself. Just think about it, stimulates me very much. I am a good manipulative liar, but I hate to see people suffer If they do not deserved it, otherwise I really enjoy it.
I have never seen real violence before war, hunger, extreme violence but I like to think about it. I am not sure if is because I am bored that I think that, or I am a sadist, or I just need a hit of reality like less afortunated people has everyday. Anyways, does any BPD here feels that need to kill too?
I am a diagnosed BPD and 31 years old. I have extreme symptoms, and have tried to control them for 10 years. A very difficult task. I wanted to comment on the idea that BPD and aspd are made for each other. I seem to be attracted to those that are aspd, and I only realized it after many years and extremely tumultuous relationships. Unfortunately the aspd can only act since they cannot really feel or empathize. The relationships I have with aspd end up violently and crazy for the most part. The worst part about it is that I'm always more drawn to these types of people.
The others I grow extremely bored with, and I can drop them with no feeling, no problem. But if someone tries to leave me, even if I'm done with them, I go into hyper emotion even to the point of craziness. I don't feel that BDS and aspds should be together at any rate especially if children are involved. The aspd has absolutely no want to get better, and the BPD, no matter how hard they try, seems to fail at every turn in trying to recover, largely due to their lack of inconsistency.
I have BPD and am married to a sociopath. We have been married for 15 years. It can be the most passionate fulfilling relationship or the hardest one on the planet depending on the day. For the most part I have been extremely loyal though despite his constant cheating and lying to me. Sometimes I feel like we are just wearing each other down to nothing but neither of us can leave the intensity and since of possession and control.
He was sweet and harmless, and really a joy to spend time with. Though I think I particularly enjoyed his company because he just wasn't overwhelming for me like most people are. Anyway, to the point Years later, having now known several people each with APD and BPD, I would rather hang out with a sociopath than a borderline any day of the week. Sociopaths, in my experience, are usually nice. I used to think that lack if love made someone evil. I certainly don't think that anymore. What makes someone evil is a love of hate, which has been the hallmark of every Borderline I've known.
Please don't assume I'm judging all Borderlines as evil. It's just that some refuse help or treatment, and grow increasingly toxic. At least to empaths! Thanks for sharing this most fascinating blog! This description of borderline personality disorder sounds totally off to my understanding of it, and my experience as a recently diagnosed sufferer of BPD. I have also been in a relationship with a diagnosed sociopath and I was almost a clear opposite of him. He often described me as an empath - I do care very deeply for other people, my issue is with regulating my emotions - and that is the key part of BPD.
Personally, when I experience hurt, I turn it inwards. My first instinct is to self destruct. Over the years I have suffered with anorexia and alcohol abuse - none of which was a cry for attention but a way in which I tried to deal with my self loathing and pain. I only ever displayed manipulative behaviour when reacting to the aforementioned sociopath, because I was terrified of abandonment.
It is not something I do in normal relationships. I have no judgement of people who have other personality disorders, such as sociopaths, despite my personal experiences with one as it is a disorder that people suffer from and that with the right therapy, we can reteach ourselves to handle things productively and treat people decently. It is no different to having a physical ailment but I don't think people should embrace their ability to not care and be cruel - it is within all of us to care for others and not leave a path of destruction behind us.
Most of the time i feel as though i am torn between extreme emotionless logic and boredem, while other times i am intensely emotional and hyper stimulated. Although i agree that i am quite selfish , i am in no means proud of it. I have used my emotions to get out of a ton of legal troubles as a teen as playing off a paranoid harmless child was easy with my shaky bodily movements from my anxiety which has been quite prominent lately.
Most of the time i feel like a god amongst con men, able to fake tears out of stuffed up emotion from some other issue i have with life and society itself. At the end of the day the emotions are very real but at the same time tangible to an extent to those of us with BPD who have learned to abuse it in a sense. However, regardless i still find that it is not an abuse of emotions or other but more of a strong sense of self preservation.
I am extremely codependent but will never show it unless i do a background check on you first and get to know what your made of through a gauntlet of dark questions and topics. I love jumping straight into rabbit holes when im bored and emotionless which is very common especially when school is off i am a uni student. Although i would say that i am very manipulative and ill in nature to others, it is because i have serious trust issues. I do not trust my own family. I spend nights in my room punching holes in the wall out of rage or hovering in a corner shaking in fear. I am truly a very paranoid and anxious individual which makes me feel indifferent to my manipulative generally deviant acts against my enemies.
However, regardless of this i have an extreme sense of loyalty over my own logic in fact though i hate to admit it. Although this does seem inconsistent as i lie a lot and am not punctual since i never look at time it stresses me the fuck out , pardon my french. All in all , yes as a BPD male i do feel inherently evil and devious at times but always end up rationalizing it through my own intense fear and paranoia. At the end of the day thoguh, i would never hurt anyone without a good or very emotional reason.
There is an exception however to this which is the reason i still use. When i become extremely bored and depressed my rage becomes irrational to the point that i feel urges to harm random people passing me by out of some sort of dark self pity and spite for society. Yes Anon2 I just read it, it was mind opening. I feel like I finally get psychopathy and you explained it in just one post. Ah yes the dark room is beneficial and needed at times. The dark room works a charm - I'm tasting a little bit of the left-brain again now thank god and hope I can hang on to it a couple of weeks to get all this ghastly bureaucratic crap sorted halfway efficiently!
We weren't built for it, our type: XK - Thanks so much for that response It's the first confirmation of any kind I've received. Even my most sociopathic friend, who I'd hoped would relate who has a lot of traits, but I don't think is really in this ballpark said it sounded like I'd had a 'psychotic break'.
I couldn't explain to him that it was the farthest thing from psychosis which I've seen up close more than once I could imagine; there was nothing psychotic, or 'mad' in any way, about it. I'd never been more 'tempered' and in control in my life. I just sound bonkers, to them, describing something so alien and trying to attribute such 'significance' to it.
So it's a hell of a milestone having anyone confirm what I thought, and incredibly interesting to me: Really glad you appreciated it too. Thanks for saying so: It's making me seriously wonder about mercury again. It's f'king powerful stuff, and it's been in all of our childhood vaccines as a 'preservative' ffs. They've started reducing quantities but only over the last decade or so. Links with alzheimer's, MS and autism are all either established or being researched, but I wonder if psychopathy should be in the picture too.
There could be genetic-related susceptibilities as there are four genetic types to do with ability to detoxify poisons; one very efficient, one very inefficient. I remember one study on a group of autistic kids found the latter genetic type to be those with the severest autism. I just can't help wondering this after my experiences.
On the other hand, the experience was quite 'physical' too - one thing I forgot to mention in my account was that I'd had an extremely 'tight' scalp all that day, which had also disappeared the next like wearing a much-too-tight bathing cap - very odd feeling. But I still can't help wondering about it - it was SUCH a different experience and such an interesting one. A totally new paradigm. I have often wondered how my life would have played out had I stayed in that mode, because it would have HAD to have been entirely different.
Everything would have been different; all my norms, my whole experience. Again, not in a good or bad way, not 'worse' - they're not directly comparable - just utterly different. Like stepping into a different reality. Well, that didn't work! Look below, under the 'crime books' thread! XK, that's totally fascinating - thank you again. It also tickles me to learn of the term 'depersonalisation' - which of course means absolutely nothing to the person I was that day, being 'defined' by the type I wasn't, i.
Defined by 'their' terms and norms, I mean which of course applies to my own descriptions too. It occurs to me that in a community of majority non-emotion-experiencers, the abberation would be 'personalisation' except it would have a completely different name and would be as legitimately regarded a 'syndrome', given that I am as little responsible for it or in control of my 'personalisation' - have as little 'chosen' it - in the rest of my life, as I was of 'depersonalisation' that day.
It's like being given permission to explore all these thoughts as valid, after having reluctantly accepted the possibility from others' responses that I just had a bit of a nutsy day. I'm so pleased you took it to the shrink flattered! It's been in my mental pending folder so long, nagging for answers and attention. All best to you too, and thanks again! Even I can hardly follow it and I Knew what I was trying to say.
Take it as an example of the perils of too-easy stimulation. But suffice to say it's been a treat. Your descriptions of what it's like for you are really fascinating, and easily-relatable to. But even though I possibly tasted the 'essence' of it that day, it was too short I didn't meet a single person face to face that day, and phoned only two people briefly, so a literally only had a taste, and the rest of the experience was left undone.
A lot of the time I'm in awe in a disinterested kind of way as to how such a mind comes up with the level of connections it does, so fast and so automatically. I'll shut up before I do the same thing as this morning and start spilling all over the place. It's the dark room time again. Oh dear, I can't stop! Just want to add, "It takes a lot of activity and danger to keep that kind of mind 'healthy'. Like parking a Ferrari in the garage and only driving it to the local supermarket. The engine would probably eventually seize up.
When I said 'everything would have to have changed', this is what I meant. I didn't know where my 'satisfactions' and 'fulfilments' were going to come from, but I knew that all my previous, habitual ones were off the table; I didn't know what my 'needs' were or how they'd be met, but knew it would all be different. Another thing that impresses me about that memory was how clear and 'whole' my understanding was of all these things. That's a very rare experience with my 'emotional' mind - everything is so confusing in comparison. It's like having a gaggle of corgis round your ankles all yapping together.
My mind was so clean that day. Kind of sequential AND holistic, at the same time, as opposed to anarchic and associative and piecemeal. Now I'll try to stop! Anon2 "Oh dear, I can't stop! That does seem to be the case 8- LOL [laughing with you]. An insuperable feeling of heightened polished awareness To cruise through life knowing that no matter what you say or do, guilt, remorse, shame, pity, fear, all those familiar everyday warning signals What if one's conscience has an infinite pain threshold and doesn't bat an eye when others are screaming in agony?
It's an interesting and useful book. The less said about that, the better. This though, I found really interesting, of yours: I used to feel annoyed. Now I have more patience. Each group has their place in the scheme of things, as long as each group doesn't expect the other group to be like them. Just my two cents. That's one way in which I wondered how I'd have fared, going it alone without my emotional personality. I'm pretty sure that at the very least I'd being optimistic here have gone a lot more Larry David, pretty rapidly being very optimistic.
The thing with emotions is, they're running the whole time - you don't 'do' them That's what I discovered the day after that experience when I woke up 'me' again. It is so different. It's like instead of the clean, calm space of emotion-free intellect, there's a fragrance, or a music, and atmosphere within which you have your whole existence - there's stuff in the air, stuff with energy of its own.
Literally a different world. And you can adjust the stuff - within limits I kind of wish you could have the reverse experience to me - day in the life of a well-meaning over-emotioned bundle of stuff Thanks for posting the Dutton thing! God, yes, he is quite flowery isn't he? I'm suspecting he experienced a comparative 'halfway house' though But all these terms are very subjective, I suppose But it's really interesting to see the essential resemblance - the clarity factor, very 'confirmatory'.
I'll read that book - Thank you: I could go on In fact, I will just a bit and then I'll try to stop. This is why people can't make decisions if they're like me - so much of it conflicts; trying to reconcile it which is probably a mistake to make gets you in a pickle. Just trying to identify them can take forever. You can't see the wood for the trees sometimes. It's maybe less like corgis than something like the seven dwarfs following you around, each with their own little placards.
Greedy, lazy, cowardly, self-doubty, bossy, calvinist, oh forget it, there's way more than seven. And they're just the crude ones but which tend to yap loudest. And then there's this awful kind of inverse law at work, of course, that the most important or meaningful the decision -the ones you most want to get right - the more you'll be crippled by the emotional activity and rendered incapable.
I think it's great you apply patience, and I thank you on behalf of the emotionally over-endowed everywhere. There's nothing like being given a bit more time to think about it: But I'm going to shut the fuck up now: I agree with your 2 cents by the way. Oh and just this. I meant to say something about this: My kingdom for no assumptions.
That's a good one. Anon2; We can't go on meeting like this. People will think we have something to hide, skulking around at the bottom of a now-dead ME blog post thread. I loved it, let alone the content of the actual comments. With the instruction [akin to PuppyBasket's] for us to: Your description of thought process inclusive of emotions sounds [and I mean no insult] a nightmare. I have actually 'suffered' a few weeks of having really strong emotions.
I thought [no joke] I was going mad. If I hadn't had a Big Shrink to talk to I would actually have had myself committed to a 'health spa' [I think they used to be called euphemistically]. I can just imagine the conversation with the in-house consultant psychiatrist. So, XK, you want to come and stay with us a while, do you?
Can't think can't sleep can't read can't even watch TV.
- midlothian va dating!
- Sociopath World: BPD + ASPD = perfect match??
- should i send a second message online dating.
They're totally out of control. I can't tell them to shut up! What, XK, you hear voices? Are they telling you to kill someone? They all have pads 8- ]. I can't get them out of my head. Give me some meds. Hell, even a hammer-blow to the head should do it! Are you telling me you want to get committed because you're feeling emotions?
XK, the nice man in the white coat will escort you to the door. We can't waste space on malingerers. XK leaves the room, walks into the street, physically assaults several passers-by. Gets a soothing padded 'room'. Anyway, suffice to say that your description of how it 'feels' [shudder 8- ] is both lyrical and sufficiently evocative that I can 'get it', and discuss it with Short Shrink without both of us looking blankly at each other. When they are, they are followed by a period of "relief" where you feel equally ecstatic.
You sound like a really weak person who can't handle anything unpleasant, particularly when it comes to emotions. You don't even know what you're missing because you're afraid. It shows in your writing style. Now don't explode on me I really feel for you.
Even the walls have ears around here [furtive looks]. I knew it would be too good to last. It is a fact that the things that traumatise and cause fear and anxiety in most other people, don't. To be more specific: It does [although I'm assuming 8- I understand what 'it' you refer to]. Being usually either rational [internally] or highly amused and engaged [internally and externally], it of course influences writing style.
Amusement and delight don't get transferred into 'written' very well, hence all the LOLs and 8- spread thru the text. Rage doesn't occur much nowadays because there are shrinks for that. I see your type now. You get a kick out of it don't you? That doesn't exist in your pathetic little world. You "can't" feel because it doesn't serve your pointless existence, not because you just "can't. Or is that an act? Anon 2 don't be so serious. XK - Chortled right the way through your interview! Why Short Shrink and Big Shrink, just out of curiosity? The world is requiring that I Do Things today, but I'll be back!
The 'shrink names' just allude to their body types, in a nice way. I think I've given myself borderline burnout now: More importantly, I have a deadline in 15 days, the only chance I stand of meeting is to get bored and stay bored without further ado! Which means no more of this. Pleasure to be of service: And absolutely none of this: LOL" I'm dying to ask you what you think about this, actually You know your Borderline stuff, by the sound of it - do you reckon I'm one?
Can you tell these things? Are you getting a borderline vibe from me? And for pity's sake, nothing like this: The former intrigues me no end How did it happen? How did it stop? Was there a how? What was it like? It was very interesting to know that I could blow up half the world pressing a button if someone asked me to, and then go watch TV.
The second part you described, is how things usually are With a bit of luck. Thank you again for your responses! It's been an highly entertaining education: I sometimes wonder if I should pad my house, and make believe, from time to time, that I'm not allowed out and don't have to pay rent: Because I've got discipline. And I believe in things like deadlines. They're dead real to me. It was such a lovely change, and well appreciated.
Yes, I do have a prolonged acquaintance with a Borderline. Which is why aggressive, hostile rants Just Do Not Work. They essentially mean nothing other than someone wants to antagonise, to learn your weak spots, so they can attack those more efficiently another time. To see if you will give up on them. Because, sadly, that's what they expect. Done that, seen the movie, even bought the t-shirt.
Forgot to say; your questions above, I could respond to most. But not for 15 days. Having a disgustingly high level of self discipline myself, I am fully supportive of those attempting to practice the same. I'll allow myself one more reply for now. The dwarfs have fucked off now I'm doing 'the right thing' and I'm chilling out nicely.
You're right they could do with a prune. I'm going to work on that. You're right I'm not Borderline too. I've just been reading some earlier posts on it. I feel a bit sheepish, because there's no way I can claim to suffer, or have suffered, with anything. And the ocd-ish bias. I could go on, probably: I liked that you enjoyed my version of it, though. Which brings me back to the dwarves ocd.
The reason they weigh-in like this is because I'm a very good one-thing-at-a-time person and an abominable multi-tasker. Whichever thing is most interesting or fun takes over, and I stay in that mode til I'm done with it, and only then go into another mode. When I get into stimulating-conversation mode, bureaucratic deadlines will dissolve into the ether where they rightfully belong but tell that to the government.
So in come the dwarves Send in the Dwarves?: Ah, I notice I just adopted your spelling, unconsciously! I'm such a wimp. Dwarves is apparently a later variation, popularised by Tolkein. I just can't fking shut up, can I? You wouldn't believe the difference in me in work mode. I go right off talking then. I love working instead then almost always. This is the problem; they're not compatible.
And deadlines wait for no man Ah, reminds me of Douglas Adams: And look forward to picking it up: Awesome on the deadline-solidarity thing! Neither, it seems, can I!!. How's that for spectacular 'lack of specific insight' LOL?! I'll shut up about having high self-discipline about now I think. I'm only replying because I could well forget, 15 days down the track, about these: All the very good friends I've kept for years are like that.
It's a really good dynamic; easy to spot that genuineness, and works for both sides. And never any nastiness. I so dislike nastiness, except as a tool to swat nasty people with. Have a good 15 days of OCD-style working. I work like that too. Not due to dwarves though. Some silly people 8- call it obsessiveness. Me, I prefer 'whatever it takes to get the job done' 8- ]. Maybe just an 'OK, got that', if you are compelled. I do giggle a bit. I definitely critique their methodology.
We do discus the best ways to do murders in our house with three sociopaths in residence. There are what norms would think are some pretty odd discussions here sometimes. I liked reading The Iceman biog. Enjoyed the three HBO documentaries too. It seemed like he had a good sense of humour. The more I read of your posts PB, the more ridiculous you become. I took it to a shrink I 'visit'. LOL That depersonalisation part I once had for several days. There's another state of mind where you don't know that what you [aren't] feeling is different from most other people's state of mind.
It's more cloudy and layered. Once that changes [ie. It takes a lot of activity and danger to keep that kind of mind 'healthy'. Everything changes, when it becomes clear what such a mindset is capable of. Song of the Day: Looks like another one here http: Has anyone seen the movie "Revolutionary Road"??? I'm actually bipolar with psychotic features; but I do have borderline traits to my personality unusual for a male I know; but it's true. I can definitely attest to this blog because my longest standing relationship was with an attractive older female who possessed sociopathic personality traits yet wasn't a full blown sociopath and when she liked you She also had a sadist side to her while I'm more of a masochist I hope to find another woman like that one of these days.
You might something in the realm of batshitcrazy that resonates with you here: I'll check it out. I'm not as batshitcazy as I used to be though How can you know that, when you are stoned? Might want to get an outside perspective on that. It's like drunks that think they can drive. Everyone is different and I respect that, but weed is actually really beneficial for me personally.
It helps to regulate my mood and it actually decreases my paranoid delusions contrary to popular belief and it helps me sleep as well it's actually taken the place of a lot of my old psych meds. Yes, I do enjoy getting high, not gonna lie when I smoke to get high I smoke in much greater quantities; I've mastered the art of controlling my dosage but in the end it ultimately comes down to me managing my issues. To each their own though. I technically qualify for BPD diagnosis.
This leaves them both with a decision they make in childhood. The apsd realizes his parents are using his emotions to manipulate him His emotions are his parents "key" to control and manipulate him. So the aspd simply hides the key. He buries it deep The BPD chooses another path She tries to become what they want But the BPD has essentially given away her power I want to crawl up inside them and hide in that shell.
The ASPD who can no longer "feel" can handle all those wild emotions But this is pathological When I give my key to a sociopath I essentially want to merge with him I want some of his hard outer shell The sociopath doesnt want to feel The BPD wants security and loyalty But the ASPD cannot give her security And he just cant risk that.
I hope this makes sense. I just dont date anymore. And i need to be contained. Just like an ASPD can destroy people with his huge empty hole of nothingness But she almost never destroys for sport As bpds heal they experience less pain and more control. They just Cant do that. So the Aspd solution is so effective in managing pain The ASPD needs to realize that there are many people out there who don't want to control them and would truly care for them if they were willing to put some trust in them.
It takes a perfect combination for it to work. Where there's a will there's a way. BPDS dont take things personally We just have "emotional flashbacks" having realized the foolishness on a basic survival level of having given our "key" away in childhood If you lock yourself up and throw the key away, your abuser won and left you broken.
If you don't think you have the strength within you to overcome the betrayal and be better than them, you've fallen for their trap. If you don't think you have help out there, you've fallen for their trap. If you don't think you deserve better than being a victim of betrayal, than you have no right to complain. Everyone who is an ex is a "sociopath" to every borderline I have met. Comments on posts over 14 days are SPAM filtered and may not show up right away or at all. This has been mentioned briefly before, but I liked this recent comment for why borderline personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder often go together like peanut butter and jam: One takes nothing personally, the other takes everything personally.
The self-confident psychopath won't care about any Borderline accusations or insults. Psychopaths [no fear] aren't bothered about the 'walking on eggshells' aspect of Borderline. And Borderlines usually appreciate the optimism and drive of the psychopath. The only downside is the abandonment issues of the Borderline, since the psychopath Although if the borderline is 'stabilised' by that point - they usually breathe a sigh of relief as they wave goodbye. Anonymous May 18, at Anonymous May 18, at 2: Anonymous May 18, at 4: Puppy Basket May 22, at 8: Anonymous May 18, at 6: Anon 2 May 18, at 6: Anonymous May 18, at 7: Jonaid May 18, at 7: Anon 1 May 19, at 2: Jonaid May 19, at 7: Jonaid May 19, at 8: Anon1 May 19, at 8: Jonaid May 19, at 9: Anon1 May 20, at 7: Jonaid May 20, at 1: Anon 1 May 21, at 9: Jonaid May 21, at Puppy Basket May 22, at 9: Jonaid May 22, at Anonymous May 19, at 6: Superchick May 18, at 7: Anonymous May 19, at Anonymous May 20, at 2: Superchick May 19, at 6: Anonymous May 19, at 9: Puppy Basket May 22, at Anonymous May 19, at 7: Superchick May 20, at 2: Anonymous May 20, at 3: Anonymous May 20, at 7: Superchick May 20, at 1: Anonymous May 20, at 4: Superchick May 20, at 9: Anonymous May 20, at Anonymous May 19, at 1: Anonymous May 19, at 3: Wagner Jessi May 19, at 7: Christena May 19, at 9: Nihilistic Mind May 20, at 8: Anonymous May 21, at Nihilistic Mind May 23, at Anonymous May 20, at 9: Nihilistic Mind May 20, at Nihilistic Mind May 20, at 1: Anon 2 May 21, at 2: Anonymous May 23, at 4: Anonymous May 23, at Superchick May 23, at Anon 2 May 23, at 2: Anon 2 May 23, at 3: Anon 2 May 23, at 4: Anonymous May 23, at 8: Anon 2 May 24, at 2: Anonymous May 24, at 5: Anon 2 May 25, at 5: Anonymous May 25, at 4: Anonymous May 25, at 6: Anonymous May 25, at 8: Anonymous May 26, at 1: Anon 2 May 26, at 1: Anon 2 May 26, at 2: Anonymous May 26, at 4: Anon 2 May 26, at Anon 2 May 26, at 6: Anonymous May 26, at 8: Anon 2 May 26, at 8: Anonymous May 20, at 5: Anonymous May 20, at 8: Anonymous May 21, at 7: Anonymous May 21, at 9: Anonymous May 21, at 2: Anonymous May 22, at 4: