Good for those people. But they are just as often predatory environments where newly diagnosed men and women but usually women are bombarded with attention. Like other dating services, they can be unsafe spaces for women where harassment and coercion thrive. When you round up a vulnerable and isolated population, create a community space and fail to moderate it or protect your users, you create a dangerous environment.
These folks would be better served by a support community than a dating app. STI dating services are a product of the stigma, not an empowering way out of it. Not to mention that people with herpes are diverse. Having a minor skin condition in common is a shoddy foundation for a healthy relationship.
Best Dating Sites For People With Herpes - AskMen
I think most people who have had herpes for a few years know this too. The only people who ask me about herpes dating sites have just been diagnosed and are still daunted by the idea of disclosing—a fear I encourage them to tackle instead of pursuing these trap door dating sites. Which leads me to my next concern: Some of them bring on consultants in the sexual health world, but only after the fact, and by and large their founders do not come from our community. These entrepreneurs may believe they have our best interests at heart, but they will never understand the stigma as well as someone who lives with it.
They do not listen to the needs and opinions of this community, and they take funding and attention away from real efforts to provide treatment and testing, and to de-stigmatize sexual health. STI dating services are almost always unethical money-grabs that prey on what seems like a potentially underserved niche market.
This Silicon Valley opportunism is antithetical to real social change and progress.
What are the Benefits of using a Herpes Dating Site?
They reach out to me, share my posts and my talks on their social media platforms, and contact my fellow activists when I refuse to collaborate with them. You cannot say your service fights STI stigma when it relies on stigma to exist. What we need is better sex education and health care, access to therapy and more representation.
These companies are nothing but vultures, co-opting the language of activism. Get my name outcha mouth and get off my lawn. I contracted HSV-1 unknown location in my late 40s. Like other posters, I would rather avoid the worry of passing the virus to someone else by finding someone that already has it. My ex-wife had it, and I never worried about it.
Why I Will Never Support Herpes Dating Sites
The irony is that I never got it from her after 17 years of marriage…I got it from a casual fling afterwards. Invariably, most of the women I find on the sites have HSV-2 genitally. So far, ALL of the women in my area are Type 2. I have even been under considerable stress…and nothing. That look hurts me.
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They have to decide if its worth it? Dating can be hard in the first place, so when you approach dating with an STI, things can be even more challenging. In fact, the idea of getting over the barrier of breaking down your own walls and sharing something so sensitive, not to mention something that inevitably comes with a backstory, may be so scary at times it makes dating seem not worth it or impossible. For whatever reason, our society still attaches a lot of shame undoubtedly stemming from ignorance about herpes and those with the virus.
More important than how widespread the virus is, is the lifestyle that comes along with it. For the record, just because someone has herpes does not mean he or she cannot date or that they are tarnished in some way. All too frequently, STIs are spread during an individual's first sexual encounter or simply because a past partner was not honest about their condition. And despite what outdated stigma our society holds all too often holds, having herpes in no way signifies the infected individual was or us dirty or promiscuous.
Do you think an STI-positive person tried to get infected?
If You're Dating With Herpes, Having "The Talk" Can Be Difficult
If you have HSV-2, you probably know some of the best practices when it comes to dating: Be honest and tell your partner about the virus, but at an appropriate time. On the topic of rational, if you are infected, the infection alone is no reason to lower your dating standards or think of yourself as unworthy of a caring partner, physical touch and pleasure, or a loving relationship. Meet Positives created a platform for herpes singles to meet and date without the fear of rejection.
If you are living with herpes and would like to be around people who care and provide crucial information about your status, join Meet Positives.
Joining this site is easy. All you need to do is create an account and add some information about yourself to share with other herpes singles.
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