I'm fairly certain at this point that the feeling is mutual, but we're both holding out on saying so.
We never really talk, which probably sounds ridiculous, but we spend a lot of time around each other. I'm actively working at it at my own pace, at least trying to, but I'm worried that I'm going to let it slip through my fingers. Is it difficult for two introverts to date? If so or even if not, do you have any advice or anecdotes to help? Your SO completely understands your need to be alone sometimes and doesn't get upset or try to make you go out and do things. This is my current situation and it's awesome. Another benefit is there are no awkward silences, just comfortable ones, sometimes lasting up to an hour.
An extroverted SO might take this as a bad sign but me and the lady enjoy it if spending a long period of time together. As an introvert in a relationship with another introvert I too can say that it is great.
Love between two introverts - Introvert Spring
There's a deep mutual understanding of each other's personality. If you're sure the feeling is mutual, take the first step. It doesn't have to be anything crazy. It could be as simple as just holding his hand. See where it goes from there. You don't leave the house often. You can spend hours without saying a word, and neither of you asking "What's wrong? In a nutshell, it's pretty awesome. Upside has been covered, downside being you have to make an effort to get out and do things. You can't rely on him to take you out on a date. Upside to that is you can take him out on dates that you want to go on so he learns more about you.
This issue can be annoying and persistent. What do you want to do? Where so you want to eat? What movie do you want to watch? My SO and I are both introverted, but it works for us. I am more of the introvert that gets extremely drained around people and doesn't have a large group of friends, just individual friends I am close to. He, on the other hand, appears outgoing and extroverted but the amount of time he spends thinking and contemplating on his own makes him feel introverted even though he is the friendliest and most outgoing person I know.
It works for us because we are comfortable enough around each other that it doesn't feel draining. As everyone else has said, it is really amazing being with another introvert bc you just get each other. The only issue is, when both people are reserved, how do you get it started? It's extremely tough but one of you has to do it. Yeah, yeah, I'm getting there. Just gotta man up and ask her out. Not to "hang out", not to "catch up". My partner and I go about our days normally.
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When we want to be around each other we kind of have an unspoken "probing" ritual we do where we see what the other is doing. If the other isn't busy or needs to be alone, we usually cuddle and watch movies or go to the canal and have a picnic out on the rocks in the middle of the river.
We work out together after work, we go for runs. Sometimes we just go out and about doing crazy things to be "spontaneous". Then at the end of the night you get to lay down next to the person who actually makes you care, that you love, and you fall asleep only to wake up, do it again all over the next day.
It's a relationship without anxiety or pressure to me. It's the opposite of all the bad things you've ever experienced, to me. Also, make sure you let him know because sometimes it's difficult for two Introverts to understand these things if you're both quite about it.
I pretty much came out and told her, and her rebuttal was then establishing the rules of our relationship in which we began it after agreeing those sounded reasonable. Seems quite perfect relationship.
Wish this was better known. Normally people seem to dump themselves on others.
- Love between two introverts;
- Dedicated to your stories and ideas..
- The Advantages and Disadvantages of an Introvert Dating an Introvert.
I can't describe it as much as I'd like to: I like to think our relationship is extremely healthy. I think she's the one, and I might drop the question soon by that I mean in the next couple years. Good thing that you are going to take your time. Thanks for linking that article. First and foremost, are you dating? That is, are you in a "serious" relationship with him? That's not quite clear in your OP. Are you dissatisfied with how little you talk, or worried that the lack of talk will affect your relationship? Along the lines of what others have been saying, it sounds ideal, being able to have comfortable silence.
However, it seems to me like you're unsure if it's comfortable on his side of things; a worry about lack of interest, mayhaps? In any case, my advice is: Heck, do this for almost everything. There is a game that people play where they feel they should act a certain way in order to live up to an image or expectation of another. It's easier and more fun albeit more vulnerable to abandon the image and the act, to communicate and connect on a level deeper than the masks you've been wearing Egads, it must be late, I'm ranting. It's the best relationship ever.
I love being around her and i think she loves being around me. However, we both are fine with a Friday night just sitting at home watching TV or playing a game. At times we just sit on the couch and read. Not a word between us unless someone is going to get a snack or a drink. When we need to talk, we talk. It can be difficult at times, but it has never been a major problem. If you can be together, enjoy each other company, give space, and discuss genuinely good things and have real deep conversation that would be a good thing.
I can tell him I need some "me time" and he won't get offended, and vice versa. At the beginning it was a little rough because I thought that couples were "supposed" to talk all the time and hang out just as often, but as we grew together and realized our own introvert-ness, I've really come to appreciate our similar minds: I am very introverted, and my girlfriend is too. It is amazing, and I've never had a better partner. Of course you still need to communicate, and get to know each other, but having introversion in common is really useful for understanding one another, and being compatible.
If you are introverted, I would say it is easier to have a serious relationship with another introvert than with an extrovert. If you like him, just take the plunge, and tell him. You could be pleasantly surprised. But first, lets explore the opposite kind of relationship. Have you been pushed to the outskirts of your own world and left to feel like an outsider looking in?
Have the differences between you and your extroverted lover left you guilt-ridden and hollow? There is a benefit to such a relationship. If you escape, you will likely be hurtled full-force into the arms of someone more like you. Long, long ago okay not that long ago , in a land far away, where dingoes and fire-breathing iguanas ruled the earth, two introverts met.
They gazed from afar, until one day, they began having awkward exchanges with drawn-out pauses. Somehow, they each found a remnant of themselves in the other.
5 Things That Happen When Introverts Date Each Other
It was an affair marked by deep conversations, simple pleasures and exhilarating little monster moments. What I wanted to illustrate, is that being with someone who sees the world through the same lens as you can be liberating. It can open up your quiet world. This article really speaks to me! My husband and I have been married 34 years and we are both introverts.
By the extrovert expectations of the world and family we are reclusive but it works so well for us.
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And lucky me, I recently went to work in a small store where most the other employees are introverts. Thanks for sharing your personal happily ever after with another introvert. Thanks for the confirmation! My husband and I have been married for 2 years now and are both introverts. They are always telling you to be more outgoing, social and socialise and tell you to stop being so isolated and depressed!
Always jumping from place to place or girl to girl! Still waiting fr that quiet gentle man! Believe me Crystal, you will find him. Thanks for the lovely article. I had to break up with my extroverted boyfriend about two weeks ago because the relationship was so draining. I hope you find someone who makes you feel energized rather than stressed and drained.
Harmony which part of continent are you from? Am an introvert like it seems we share the same thought. I am an introvert and recently met another introvert online. He even kissed me at the end of our second date. I texted him twice, once to thank him for our lovely second date. Then this morning just to say hi. Nothing long , kept it really short, a few lines to say hello and wish him a good day. It took nine months for a kiss and another month after that to get a little intimate. The last girl I dated for a year, we talk about my need for self reflection, down time, and socializing limitations.
I had to continually explain why I left the neighbors party early, or why we had to leave early when she was enjoying herself. Then it finally come out, she wanted someone to be social with her, not leave early or limited social. I force myself to be more social and it only caused me to become depressed and eventually I was a mess and we split. My 2nd marriage 10 years together, 2 married, divorced since was wonderful, she was not as introverted as I am but slightly more social.
I finally understand myself a little more after reading this. At least I got a beautiful daughter out of it. Now I can continue to learn more about myself and maybe find another introvert to be with! Well thanks for a great write…for years I always thought of myself as an extrovert…. Growing up in a big family and at a big church I was always shamed for being quiet. I finally decided to become a class clown, the family talker, etc! More than thankful for such knowledge available today. So thankful for your post as well!! Glad to know there is a chance of a happy working relationship for me too.
Now I only need to figure out how to find someone who fits the bill.